Edge of the Horizon
by Chicary
Summary: When you can't seem to figure out your place, where do you seek your sanctuary? Yugi, Ryou or Malik? It's all in the clues. Completed old fic.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, or the video "Cry from the Diary of a Métis Child"  
  
A/N: ^_^() My stories are so far all very angst and depressing but that doesn't really reflect who I am. This is my first real fic so please don't flame and yes I got the idea from a very sad video I saw. The speaker will not be identified until the end but for now, there is a choice between Yugi, Ryou or Malik (Marik). Please read and review.  
  
~~~Cry from the Diary of a Young Hikari~~~  
  
Prologue  
  
Dear yami,  
  
Although you are part of the reason why I did this, I don't want you to blame yourself. This was my decision to make and I have a free will to choose the path I want to take.  
  
When I think about it, I don't know why you would blame yourself anyways since you never really cared about what I thought or did. For all I know, the instant you look upon this letter, you'll just throw it away thinking its some stupid attempt to get attention.  
  
Actually, you'd be right it you thought that. I've always wanted to get your attention. Do you know that? But I have long since given up on getting you to notice me when I found out my attempts were futile. All this time, I was slowly changing from your hikari, your equal, into a mere shadow of your existence, a shadow which follows you around without any purpose or reason.  
  
I laugh when I think back to who the shadow is really supposed to be. Isn't "yami" believed to mean darkness and shadows? You dwell upon the shadows, hiding away your nature from the peering eyes of the world, lurking in the darkness of mystery. It's in your very essence. You're never who everyone else thought of you to be, you only cover yourself up with a façade of deception.  
  
Slowly, as days went by, you took my place, became who I am, stole my very own identity. So what happened to me? I became a lost soul pushed back into the dark corner from which you came and emerged into the light, my light.  
  
And that was how I became this way, bitter cold and disheartened. Still, I never blamed you for what happened, because my life has never been too bright in the first place. Whether I met you or not, my life's path still contained many rapids and pitfalls.  
  
I do, however, feel I should tell you about the anguish I have been through watching you slowly push me aside into the dust while you speed on ahead of me on the road of life leaving me behind to wallow in self pity. Although I have been through many tragedies, your presence seemed to have increased the magnitude of pain in me and thus I am writing this to tell you.  
  
The others, they were only pulled into your deceptive and welcoming radiance unaware of who you really are. You used your advantage over me, the advantage of being my dark, to lure them into your hand and sway them into befriending you.  
  
No one knew what your nature was. No one that is, except me. I saw right through you from the first time we met. And that is why I submitted myself into the changes you've put me through. I could have fought back against it but because of what I knew, chose not to. That façade I spoke of before only served a purpose in hiding the deep loneliness and pain you harboured deep inside your heart. You may appear strong and powerful, but being trapped so long in the vast darkness deprived you of any type of affiliation whatsoever.  
  
I only did this to help you, but I never knew you would so forcefully push me away after having that first taste of affection and kinship. I was willing to go great lengths to help you, my yami, but losing my own life to give you a second one seemed too heavy a burden to bear.  
  
Your thirst for companionship was quenched quickly enough, but that was when the true darkness inside you took over. You were like a bomb, ready to explode at the slightest touch. The change was abrupt, yet somewhat slow. This side of you only knew of selfishness and deceit. Once you had what you wanted, nothing could tear that way from you and you held onto it with an iron grip. You probably saw your own hikari as a threat to what you had and hence thrust me as far away as possible.  
  
I never wanted my good deed for you to turn out that way. All my life, I have been struck with one blow after another leaving my self confidence a mere loose thread barely enough for me to hold my head up. I stopped caring about myself knowing anything I wanted would be far from my grasp. Instead, I focused on your needs and hoped to unbind you from the misfortune of having me as your hikari.  
  
Maybe it's not my place to feel this way. This began as my idea and I must be the one to accept the consequences for my actions with sealed lips and an accepting manner. But all people pity themselves at one point or another for a loss that they purposefully offered away. I still do not blame you for anything.  
  
My only hope is that you would take this seriously and reflect on what I have said.  
  
As for me, I have decided to leave this place and find another. If you give a second thought or even a first of where I may be, let's just say I'm in my rightful place.  
  
Your hikari 


	2. Entry One

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh.  
  
A/N: Thank you for reviewing Angel in Disguise 8 and Dark Magician Girl / Hikaru. Sorry, but I can't indicate who the speaker is until the end of the story, so throw your guesses and in the end you will see if you're right or not.  
  
Entry 1  
  
One: glass breaking  
  
Two: a yell  
  
Three: a scream  
  
Four: sister  
  
Five: mother  
  
Six: sobs  
  
Seven: father  
  
Eight: crashing  
  
Nine: footsteps  
  
Ten: smacking  
  
Breaking, yelling, screaming, sister, mother, sobbing, father, crashing, footsteps, smacking  
  
Breaking, screaming, sister, mother, sobbing, father, crashing, smacking  
  
Breaking, screaming, mother, sobbing, father, smacking  
  
Mother, sobbing, father, smacking  
  
Mother, sobbing, father, smacking  
  
Mother, father  
  
Mother, father  
  
Mother, father  
  
I can't sleep. It's been three days now. They said I don't eat properly. They said I'm too energetic. They said I think too much. I never listen to them. I know what's wrong with me, but I can't help it. How long ago has it been? Weeks? Months? Years? Yes, yes, years. Ten to be exact. It's been so long but these memories keep swirling in my mind, threatening to take over my sanity.  
  
Breaking, screaming, sobbing, smacking, mother, sister, father  
  
I was only six back then, but I knew. Sister would always try to hide it from me. She pretended there was nothing wrong. She didn't realise, though, that I could hear it. Hear everything. When she tried to hide it, it just made the whole thing even worst. That fake smile she pasted on her face could fool nobody. Nobody.  
  
She'd always force me to go to sleep early. Said it was good for my health. Every time she sang me a lullaby, it would always be a sad one. Long, slow, melancholy. A mother losing her daughter, a child growing up without parents, a father leaving his family to go fight a war. Her gentle eyes always brimmed with tears after she was finished. She had thought I had gone to sleep. But I never was. As I lay there with my eyes closed, she would run her fingers through my tresses and kiss my forehead softly.  
  
"I have to protect you; there is no one else who can."  
  
She'd always say that. Every night after the final note of her sad, enchanting song, she would say that. Why sister? Why? Protect me from what? But I already knew the answer. Sometimes, I just wanted to jump out of bed and embrace my sister tightly. I wanted to tell her she was not alone and that she didn't have to bear all the pain by herself. But I couldn't. How could I when all that time she thought I was asleep? She wanted to keep my mind innocent and oblivious to everything that went on. If there was any morsel of hope left, she believed it would lie in me. I couldn't tell her the truth.  
  
I never did.  
  
The false hope she kept in her mind sustained her. It gave her a reason to move forwards. Although her steps were slow and marred with uncertainty, she kept on moving forwards. For me. I could have never broken that hope.  
  
Screaming, sobbing, smacking, mother, father  
  
In a way, I had my own weighted burden to carry. Not only did I know what was going on, but I had to keep it from everyone. Including my sister. How difficult was it for her to forge that sweet smile on her face each day. How much she struggled to sustain that cheerful attitude. Now I felt what she felt.  
  
But of course, that was ten years ago. My sister is gone now. Mother and father are gone as well. I am left alone to reflect on these haunting memories. The ones my family deeply embedded in my find. Sobbing, screaming, mother, father  
  
The Andersen's. Hmm, the sixth? I think so. They treat me well enough. I should consider myself fortunate. I have a roof over my head, food, water and a place to sleep. I couldn't ask for more. At least that's what they always told me. I am lucky. I should be grateful. I have nothing to complain about. Words thrown into my mouth by other people. If I'm so lucky, than why should I feel this way? Why should I be moved from place to place not knowing where I would end up next?  
  
No answer.  
  
Of course there is no answer. My questions have always gone unanswered since the beginning when my sister feigned innocence with me about everything.  
  
Sobbing, screaming, sobbing, screaming  
  
I look at the window into the night sky from my window in the damp basement. The window is small and high up, but I can see many things through it. Each star in the sky represents the many miles I am away from home. The home I wish I grew to love and hate. The home I wish to erase from my memories forever yet embrace tightly into my heart. Where am I now?  
  
I've been moved from place to place. Always travelling. People like travelling. I don't. I can't remember all the families I've been with or what really happened in all those places. All I could remember was feeling lonely and unwanted. They would always be so distant towards me. They never really welcomed me as part of their family. And I never felt I was. All the legal papers and documents stated that I was. But what's a bunch of ink on paper? It can't be much different from what I'm using to write here and now. Those things meant nothing.  
  
And that's why I'm here.  
  
So I was right. I was unwanted. By all of them. All five of those families discarded me like yesterday's newspaper and time and time again, I was moved. Now, I'm here. The sixth. Probably not the last, but here I stay, at least as far as I know anyways.  
  
Nobody tells me anything.  
  
Mother, father, mother, father  
  
Staring out the window tonight, that's all I can do. Everyone is asleep now so they can't hear me. Amidst these never ending chain of thoughts going through my head, my mind drifts back to my sister. My kind-hearted, comforting sister.  
  
Will you sing me another lullaby?  
  
End Entry 


	3. Entry Two

Disclaimer: I don not own Yu-Gi-Oh  
  
A/N: Thank you for reviewing Dark Magician Girl / Hikaru, Star Girl11, Angel in Disguise8 and Steffani. I guess so far most of you guys have the same person in mind right about now. Let's see if this chapter will change your mind, thanks and please read and review.  
  
Entry 2  
  
Drip Drip Drip  
  
It's raining again. The rain always seems to tell me something, beckoning me to listen. Tonight, it's warning me of Andersen's restlessness. His patience is growing thin.  
  
That only means one thing.  
  
I could sense his impatience growing for days now. Julie has been coming over more often than ever and whenever she did, they'd always argue. She never comes in the broad daylight anymore, no, the only time she's here is in the dead of the night, way past my bedtime. Andersen obviously wants to keep this from me, so he only arranges these "meetings" when I'm supposed to be asleep.  
  
But of course, I never am.  
  
This used to surprise me, but it doesn't anymore. Maybe it's universal, or maybe it's just her style, in any case, I've noticed this from her ever since I met her and it hasn't changed since. Julie, with her sugary sweet smile and sun-kissed blonde hair has always tried to convince me that everything was all right. She repeats that phrase as if it has been programmed into her mind to do so. Her moves are always precise, calculated and organized. Every minute aspect of her has a purpose and everything she sets to work on comes out perfectly. She reminds me of a robot.  
  
Perhaps that's why she was assigned to me. The Hopeless Cause. Her talent and skills would guarantee me a good future right? Well, even Julie has her limits and it seems she had met her match in a teenage boy named....  
  
"I'm sick of your excuses!"  
  
Andersen is yelling at my social worker again. Julie sounds irritated by his anxiety but kept her voice at a calm whisper. That makes it difficult to hear what she is saying.  
  
"....that damn little brat is ruining me, he's...."  
  
Snippets of conversation. I can only hear so much pressing my ear against the basement door.  
  
"No, no, I won't....I can't do that...."  
  
"...handle it.....if ...let the authorities take him....."  
  
"Please sir, he's been...."  
  
Julie's voice seemed to have raised an octave and what seems like a touch of hoarseness to it.  
  
"I'm sick of this.....no buts."  
  
"It has only been six months."  
  
"......way too long."  
  
Julie is saying something, her voice sounds muffled, desperate, is she crying?  
  
"Be considerate sir, just a little longer."  
  
"I've had enough!"  
  
"Wait.....it will change."  
  
"I WANT THE BOY OUT NOW!"  
  
I began backing away from the door when I heard that. It was loud enough, clear enough, and forceful enough for me to understand without any doubt. Everything else pieced together wouldn't have sent the message across as decisive as that.  
  
Silence  
  
I stood there, in the darkness, the silent darkness, waiting. Waiting for what, I'm not sure. Shock quickly enveloped me as those words Andersen slammed down sunk into my mind. I felt condemned, defeated. My fate was sealed by a mere six words.  
  
Still no response  
  
I shouldn't have been surprised. No I shouldn't have. But I was. All along, I had known Andersen wanted nothing to do with me. It was a matter of time before I was cast out into the streets again, or worst, thrown into another hateful, ignorant family. It had been only six months but I felt that day coming every single one of those dates. I expected it, knew about it, and foresaw it. Hearing it, however, is an entirely different matter. This was final. Now there is nothing left to reassure myself that maybe I was just paranoid or that I was overreacting.  
  
Nothing  
  
I can no longer hear Julie. Has she abandoned me as well? Julie, Julie, please defend me. I can't move anymore, I don't want to. Don't let them take me away again. I'm so afraid. My mind cried out to her, but she couldn't hear me.  
  
I fell on my hands and knees, shaking in an effort to not burst out and let them know I was listening. The cold cement floor is damp from the rainwater leaking inside. In the darkness, I can make out my fingers turning white, desperately gripping onto the ground as if it was my lifeline.  
  
Drip Drip Drip  
  
The water is still pounding down outside. I feel so weary from all this. The loss of sleep hasn't helped much either. I don't see why I care so much. Andersen has treated me horribly from the first time I arrived at this place. Nothing I did pleased him, only fed is anger towards me. Curses ran from his mouth like water and beatings were even more frequent.  
  
The time he caught me listening into one of his and Julie's conversations was the worst.  
  
I had a cold that night and couldn't stifle my sneezes. Julie arrived again; right on schedule and they began their discussion. I did what I always did at a time like that and hid in a small compartment behind the door leading from the basement. They were talking about me again, that time; Andersen seemed especially pissed and was hitting something against the upstairs wall. As soon as their conversation began to heat up, out of nowhere, a sneeze flew from my nose and echoed all the way upstairs – to Andersen.  
  
A pause  
  
But that was it. Sighing in relief, I crawled into be and wrapped a thin blanket tightly around myself. That was just too close for comfort and I didn't want to take that chance again. I thought I was safe, but I later found out I was wrong.  
  
Very wrong  
  
A few minutes later, I heard Julie's car pull away with a squeal and thunderous footsteps just above me. The heavy steps soon reached the wooden staircase and my heart pounded along with it. Andersen was coming. To get me. He waited until Julie was gone to get me, but he had planned to the entire time.  
  
Before I knew it, my blanket was ripped off and I was face to face with a red-faced Andersen. My eyes darted quickly from his monstrous face to the stick he held in his right hand. It was long, slender and oh so familiar. He held it front of my face, mocking me with it, a devious smirk spreading across his hideous face.  
  
I had never seen his expression twist in such a grotesque grin before and it scared me, even more than usual. This was not the normal beating I often got from him, it was different. As if confirming my thoughts, Andersen slashed the stick through the air, a whipping sound following it and smacked me painfully across the face. Subsequent to the blow, he thrust the stick to the far end of the room where it clattered against the wall and lay motionless.  
  
My hand instantly flew to my cheek and tenderly rubbed the long, bleeding scar on it. I felt the warm blood tricking through my fingers as I held my hand in place. But before I recovered the pain, Andersen harshly grabbed me by the neck and shoved me down onto the hard cement, knocking the wind out of me.  
  
With a sneer, he growled, "This will teach you not to meddle in my business you ungrateful little brat."  
  
And he tore off my pants.  
  
I shuddered, thinking back to what happened that night. I would have been grateful for a beating. After that incident, I forced myself to recover, and told myself never to cry again. I still eavesdropped on their conversations, though and tonight was no different.  
  
The mark of that night still mars my face up until now and I am forced to remember those agonizing moments forever. Julie was told I had fallen down the stairs.  
  
That brief glimpse into my memories made me realise something. I want to leave, I want to get away and I never want to return. There is nothing binding me to this place except for my fear of moving. That could wait. I already hit rock bottom living here and there can't be any way to sink down even further.  
  
For once, Andersen is right; I had to get out now.  
  
And I am.  
  
End Entry 


	4. Entry Three

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh.  
  
A/N: Thank you for reviewing Yugi and Mai, starfall13, Dark Magician Girl / Hikaru, seto/ryou4ever, Star Girl11, and Angel in Disguise8. Here's the next chapter, I sort of pulled one word out of the title because it seemed too long to me.

Entry 3  
  
A glance if disgust. A stare of pity. A look of contempt.  
  
"What are his parents doing?"  
  
"Look at that scar 'tisk tisk.'"  
  
"Drug dealer, maybe."  
  
"Get away from there honey, we don't want to get caught in those street gangs."  
  
"No son, we don't speak to strangers, let's go home now."  
  
A quarter here, a dime there, even whole dollars thrown at my feet. People walking by. Stares of aversion. Whispers of harsh words. Hurrying away quickly. Leaving with their families.  
  
Would I call this freedom? Is this how I imagined it to be? No, I knew what lay ahead, I knew what I was in for and I was ready to accept the worst life had in store for me. I brought this onto myself so why should I complain?  
  
Staring up at the cloudy, dreary sky, I notice a slight hint of pathetic fallacy [1] in my part. Either this is a coincidence or even the weather is sympathizing with me. I've become somewhat used to the redundant remarks and fleeting looks from passers-by. I don't care anymore; those people and their families don't know what I have been through.  
  
Those people and their families.  
  
Why should I blame them? I was once like them myself, living happily with my family and although that was so long ago, it doesn't mean that it was never true. Back then, our family might have strolled past a dank and dirty alleyway much like this one and give offensive comments to the homeless souls sheltering themselves there as well. Without much thought, we as human beings single out the worst qualities in others, judging from our own observations and never looking past the exterior. I, with my wild and tangled hair, ragged clothing and overall demeaning appearance qualifies me as a freeloading, drug dealing, alcoholic street thug.  
  
It's what they see. Sometimes I wonder if my pride forces me to make unwise decisions. Was this even an unwise decision? I had a home, no wait, not a home, more of a shelter, yes a shelter, I had food, not the best food but food nonetheless and I had a place to sleep. Now, I have a worn-out piece of sheet metal as my only form of shelter, morsels of scrap wherever I can find them to line my empty stomach and the cold, wet and foul-smelling ground in which to rest my head. It would be easy to go back. Yes definitely. But then again, a shelter comes at a great cost for me and by that I don't mean money.  
  
Out here, I have the ability to stay in any place I choose and move at my own whim. My mind often scolds me for my idiocy, of my decision to remain in such a place, but my pride refuses to give up. No matter how hard it is to survive out in this harsh environment, I refuse to go back to Andersen.  
  
I lean back against the brick wall, thinking back a little. My escape from that worm-eaten pit was almost miraculous. It was as if God had wanted me to go and held my hand leading me away safely.  
  
I had waited until late night, around midnight to plan my escape. That little shred of information I heard from Julie and Andersen sealed my long uncertain choice to run away and I knew for sure I had to do it.  
  
I waited anxiously in my bed listening to the clock tick every minute, every second away. My wait seemed endless but it soon drew to a close as I ceased to hear the floorboards upstairs creak from Andersen's weight and was sure he was asleep. Slowly and quietly, I made my way out of bed and pulled out a small green bag from underneath the old mattress. The bag was only big enough for two things, my journal and...and  
  
...my treasure.  
  
Stuffing the items inside the bag, I promptly slung my bag over my shoulder and worked toward piling the tatty old cardboard boxes up high enough to reach the small basement window. As soon as there were enough to reach it, I carefully scaled the mountain of boxes and slipped through the tiny window.  
  
Now most people wouldn't have been able to fit through a space of that size, but I was smaller and thinner than most people (due to my lack of proper nutrition) and without much difficulty, slipped by into the outside.  
  
That was effortless enough. I was free at last! Made it! But was really? Ha! Nothing came that easily, especially for me. After taking two steps, I found myself facing a pair of blinding headlights cornering me against the garage door.  
  
Andersen's vicious mug glared at me with a fierce hatred behind the wheel and I thought for a second that he would crush me against the house with his huge car. Apparently, I was wrong and he had actually left the house instead of gone to sleep. And, lucky for him, came back just in time to see me climbing out of my rat-hole and stopped me in my tracks.  
  
Never assume.  
  
Without thinking, I made a mad dash toward the street and blindly raced down the sidewalk. Without thinking was right, Andersen pulled his car out of the driveway in a heartbeat and was on my heels in no time. I could barely see anything in the thick blanket of darkness so I just kept on running forward bumping into various objects as I ran by. I had nowhere to go, nowhere to hide. Andersen and his monstrosity of a car threatened to run me over without mercy. Every corner was followed, every street was tracked and every road was manoeuvred.  
  
I was trapped.  
  
I can still recall the dangerous squealing of the wheels behind me as I dashed through the night not knowing where I would end up next. Tears ran down my cheeks as I feared the worst was to happen. My legs were beginning to tire and my lungs felt as if they were going to explode. Fortunately for me, I found a narrow alleyway, tore down its length in a rush and dove into a bush in the end to conceal myself. That little move must have confused him because I lost track of the car, peering out from behind the bushes and could no longer hear the roar of the loud (and annoying) engine.  
  
With a sigh of relief, a slumped down onto the ground, panting heavily. Safe at last.  
  
One week has past since that insane escapade and I have tried my best ever since to hide myself and elude Andersen for as long as I can. I stared down at the small bundle I held in my arms. Those were the only things I could salvage and take with me to the outside world. My journal, which held the words of my life and...my treasure.  
  
Yes that's right, my treasure.  
  
I don't know why I called it that. Well, essentially, it was a treasure. Made of pure and flawless solid gold, I was awed when I first laid eyes on it. I received it through a mysterious package from the mail two years after I was separated from my family and put in a foster home – eight years ago. The package held no return address or any sign of who it may have come from.  
  
The only thing I found when I tore open the brown wrapping paper was a beautifully decorated golden case and a small note.  
  
'Precious is the one bathed in light,  
  
Darkness shall shield the heavily indignant soul,  
  
Through toughest trials he may befall,  
  
In the heart alone find contentment and delight,  
  
For by this frees the spirit of strength and might.'  
  
A rather bewildering note. But I was not too concerned about it. What astounded me more was some sort of, I don't know, energy or power I felt emanating from the case. I felt as if no one could touch it except for me. It beckoned me to be its keeper, called me to take possession of it. I found myself yielding to the alluring calls of the case and held onto it, kept it safe from that moment on. But was it really the case I felt? Well, not quite. Something was inside of it; something I was afraid to look at but knew was something very significant. I never told anyone about it, I sensed it was to be a secret. Everywhere I was taken, I was forced to bring it with me.  
  
Eventually, I became good at finding hiding places for it. Behind bookshelves, floorboard panels and even stuffed under a pile of underwear.  
  
I carefully removed the case from inside my bag and slowly lifted the lid open. I was not afraid of what lay inside the case anymore, in fact, it became a sort for me when I felt like giving up. Somehow, it gave me the strength to continue and helped me keep trying to get back onto my feet. Gradually, I lifted it out and examined the golden exterior. Brushing my fingers along the smooth and shiny surface, I was amazed of how, after all these years, it was able to keep its flawless beauty and authentic form.  
  
When I first opened the case, I saw a label attached loosely to this object. Let's see, what is it called, the millennium.......millennium, something. I can't really remember. The last bit of the paper did seem to have a tear at the end of it. All well.  
  
I slid the millennium object back into the bag and pulled the string to close it. The sun had already set long before and now the streets are beginning to quiet down. I pulled out a few crackers a kind restaurant owner had given me the other day and nibbled it hungrily. It wasn't nearly enough to fill my grumbling stomach but at least it was something. A rat scurries by. Hmm, there are a lot of them around here, I never got used to seeing those things. I lay my head on my folded up jacket and slowly began to drift off. It's been a long day, week and I needed to keep my energy up.  
  
Rustling  
  
My eyes were nearly shut when I heard a noise. Sitting up with a jolt, I looked around to see what it was. There, standing at the end of the alleyway, was a blurry, shadowy figure looming ominously behind the streetlight. I rubbed my eyes to see clearly but could not see any better than before. The figure made its way closer and closer until I was able to make out the silhouette of a man. Step by step I could hear the footsteps of the man shoes knocking against the pavement. Clutching my bag fearfully to my body, I looked up at the person as he proceeded forwards until he stood towering over me.  
  
"Come with me boy."  
  
End Entry  
  
[1] Pathetic fallacy: Often the mood and emotions of a character (usually the protagonist) is emphasized through the weather. The weather changes depending on the mood the character is in. Rain = sadness, Sunshine = joy, etc. 


	5. Entry Four

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh.  
  
A/N: Sorry about the somewhat longer update, my computer um...died and I had to wait awhile, that and I had a wheelbarrow full of homework. Thanks so much for all your encouraging reviews, they're really helpful. Guess people want me to continue, so the next chapter's up. Oh, and sorry for the traces of humour in this chappy, it's not really intended, just happened is all.  
  
Entry 4  
  
Completely bald.  
  
One rusting silver hoop clinging onto the upper left pinna and four cloudy studs descending down the curve. Red, black and red again. Dangling from the lobe, a miniature white skull holding a petite yet rather grotesque grin outlined, almost, dripping in crimson red. Encasing each earring, a crusty, blackened, raw-red infection, oozing yellow puss. Right ear – one golden hoop.  
  
And that was it.  
  
Thick, dark, bushy eyebrows adorned with navy blue piercing accenting narrow, darting hazel eyes. Angry eyes. Angry, vengeful eyes.  
  
A cross of two scars imprinted on the right cheek. The longer beginning from the ear and stretching almost completely to the side of the lip. The shorter, approximately half its length. Midpoint, somewhere near the upper cheekbone. Both were sealed in semi-dried blood.  
  
Still, one small droplet manages to escape.  
  
Lips, almost identical yet not quite in such severe condition. Surrounding the faded, dry pair, a thin forest of dark stubble. Brown. Or black. A combination of a moustache and a beard but not quite one or the other. Not a goatee either.  
  
Not exactly 'porcelain' skin.  
  
Right hairy arm was clothed in green and blue skin. Wait, not quite. Complex tattooed designs intertwining one another, sliding down the length. A vulture, cougar, dragon and......angel? Swirling miscellaneous shapes and patterns dancing around each figure. The rest was unidentifiable. Left bicep stamped a crucifix with a coiling serpent wrapping its body around the cross. Descending the arm, bronze, sand-blasted skin right down to the fingertips.  
  
Exactly four rings hugging each digit of each hand. All solid, metallic steel. Hard as a rock, or ten rocks. Following a pattern beginning from index and moving down – spikes, smooth, studs and engraved. Nothing quite special about them aside the assumption of what they may be used for. Purple-green bruises lining the knuckles confirm this assumption.  
  
So tight.  
  
Perhaps a few sizes too small. Through skin-tight fabric of sea-green, a distinct set of six packs line the lower trunk. Heavy, thick-set shoulders support a broad chest which was in the same state as the abdomen. Each hole dotting the shirt carry the name bran "fcuk" in bold letters across the chest revealed the same tanned skin. Pieces of dangling fabric hang raggedly from where sleeves used to be.  
  
Brown? Blue? Black perhaps. Can't tell. Just........faded and unwashed jeans. Noticeable mud, grass, blood and vomit stains. And of course, a few inconspicuous holes on the knees and such. A bump showing itself somewhere near the front pocket. Must be a wallet.  
  
At least it better be a wallet.  
  
He keeps staring at me.  
  
That angry look on his face makes me nervous. It seems as if he wants to jump me any second now and attack me with some weapon he's hiding in his shoes or pants or something. Luckily, for me, his right wrist is handcuffed to the armrest of his chair so he can't move anywhere. Maybe it's because I keep staring at him. I tried not to, really, I did but he looks so, so.....freaky that I just can't help it. It's one of those situations in which a person looks so daunting that one can't help but keep his eyes pasted on that person.  
  
At least this is something to keep my mind off of the reason why I'm here. I feel like a criminal, much like that guy over there, and I don't even know why. Was it so wrong to try and escape from a place that made me feel horrible, a place that broke me up inside? How about the fact that I only wanted to protect my self? What happened to those child protection laws they keep broadcasting on T.V.?  
  
To be honest, I dreaded being out there in the freezing, wet streets starving and feeling miserable. Dreaded it. Sure, I was free and all, but that was it. The scales are so unbalanced. Back at Andersen's, I had all my essentials but was treated like a dog, more accurately, a slave. Dogs lived in better conditions. Out in that alleyway, I was my own person, with opinions and decisions of my own, yet I barely struggled to live through each day. Perhaps now, anywhere is better, anywhere.  
  
Just not a police station.  
  
The foreboding atmosphere in here is unnerving. Staring and wandering eyes line my path everywhere I look and a continuous string of criminals are dragged in forcefully and shoved into questioning rooms. Some come in willingly and calmly but they're stilled cuffed and led by an officer. Others have to be restrained by three or four men and still, they don't comply. One man actually managed to free himself from their grasp and run out the door. Unfortunately, for him, one of the cops caught him at the door. Then, two men held him against the wall, forcing him not to struggle. When they couldn't hold him any longer, they shot him with a rubber bullet.  
  
They actually shot him.  
  
I don't believe it. Just because it was a rubber bullet, doesn't mean that it couldn't hurt anyone. How would these people know if it could kill or not. Had they actually tried on themselves? Obviously not. I saw that agonized look on his face. The way it twisted and contorted under the pain and stress from his wound. He still bled blood. He still fell to the ground. He still cried out in pain. How could they not have noticed, or if they did, cared? Well, it didn't look like it bothered them to much to do it. After that, a couple of cops dragged him into one of the rooms again. They left a big blood stain in the hallway.  
  
There are other people aside from that man waiting with their wrists cuffed to chairs out here as well. They saw the guy getting shot too, but it's weird, their expressions were entirely neutral. It was as if they had no emotions at all, or if they did, hid them very well. Maybe they've seen this before, or maybe, they just.....don't care anymore like they've died inside or something. Soulless beings sitting here waiting for their sad fate.  
  
If there are soulless beings out there.  
  
I know how I got here. Well, it would be strange if I didn't. Word is, some old lady kept on noticing me out in that alley and thought I was dealing drugs or picking fights with pedestrians or something. So, in the goodness of her heart and her strong will to keep the streets safe from all potential threats, phoned the police on me.  
  
The cop, Nielsen was his name, could tell right off the bat I wasn't a dealer (but an 85-year-old woman can't) yet he took me in anyways. It wasn't exactly a bad thing, but it's not like anyone would willingly go to a police station like this. It was probably my eyes. I don't really look like the type to be picking fights and selling marijuana. He asked me a few questions and I ended up telling him briefly about why I was homeless, and after frisking me (yes he actually frisked me) he brought me into his car and we headed here. He seemed like a nice person. Down to earth and friendly. I actually began to relax a little and even started to like him. He told me there was nothing to worry about and that he'd give me something to eat once we arrived. He appeared kind enough. But the key word here is 'appeared.' He was welcoming until......  
  
He took my stuff.  
  
No, he didn't take everything. I was able to hold onto my journal and bag but he took the worst thing of all. My treasure, well, at least that's the name I've established for it until I find out what it's really called. That was the last thing I ever wanted to be parted from. To think I never really gave much thought to anyone actually taking it from me until it was too late was surprising. I was stunned. So stunned in fact that I almost cried. One minute it was in my hand, the next, it wasn't. How can that be? I was holding onto it, had it right here, right here and then....So even now, I'm upset about it.  
  
How did it happen? Well, when we arrived, he led me to this waiting room where some of the criminals were sitting. He offered me some soup and I gulped it down thankfully, smiling as I did so. After the meal, he asked me some questions about where I came from, who my parents were and other related things. I slowly told him what I could (which was not much because I couldn't risk relating my past to others especially a cop) and watched him nod along, understanding what I said. While I was speaking, his eyes caught my bag and he asked to see it. I reluctantly handed it over, thinking there was no real harm in doing so.  
  
But I have a knack for being wrong. Never assume.  
  
As soon as he saw the golden case, his eyes snapped wide open and he pulled the case out, dropping the bag on my lap. With furrowed eyebrows, he held it close to his face, examining it inside and out. I just sat there, nervously fiddling with my fingers, anxious for him to hand it back. Waiting. Waiting. But no, he just kept on looking around at it, turning it to each side and, taking in every little aspect. He hmmed to himself a couple of times too. The longer he held it, the more concerned his expression looked. The more concerned his expression looked, the stronger my anxiety grew. It was like a chain link. Just what was he doing anyways? Did he think I was hiding something?  
  
He eventually lowered it from his gaze and turned to me. His expression looked pretty grim and that did not ease my situation one bit. There was something about that look that gave me a very uneasy feeling. I couldn't put my finger on what it was but it felt...bad.  
  
He slowly knelt down in front of me; eyes fixed on mine and held the case in front of me. His tone was low and serious; the type a father would use to rebuke his child.  
  
"Son, tell me, where did you get this?"  
  
How did I know he was going to ask that? The hard part is; how to answer. I think in this situation anything but the truth would be best. He just won't believe it. The fact that this came 'mysteriously' in the mail would not do.  
  
"My, my mom gave it to me a long time ago."  
  
"Oh really, son?"  
  
"Y-yes sir."  
  
"And how long ago was this?"  
  
"A...um....a couple of years now, sir."  
  
"Where is your mother now?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"You don't know?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"I just...don't."  
  
"Hmm, alright then."  
  
That final comment sounded sort of strange. Heaving a heavy sigh, he stood up, still holding onto the case in his hand. He quickly told me he had to go check with his partner about something and that he would come back in a short while. As I watched him disappear into the back room, a sudden feeling of dread fell on me. I started to doubt that I would get it back or even see it again. This was even worst than that anxiety. It was just plain nerve wracking. Maybe he had something to do with it. He did seem somewhat...suspicious, but then again, he's a cop.  
  
So now, I'm just sitting here, waiting for that door to open. The clock on the wall read 5:00, he's been gone for about two hours now. All this worrying is burning up the insides of my stomach. I would have hopped out of my chair and started pacing the back and forth but those people cuffed to the chairs are staring at me and I don't want to draw anymore attention.  
  
Sure is quiet in this room.  
  
Tick, tock, tick, tock  
  
Sounds of computers humming.  
  
Tick tock tick tock  
  
Coughing.  
  
Quiet murmuring.  
  
Tick, tock, tick, tock  
  
Photocopying machine.  
  
I've always been a patient person, but two hours in a room alone with criminals as my only company is too much. I don't care who sees me anymore, they're stuck to their chairs anyways. So what if they stare. Let them stare. Let them stare at each other. I have to get my treasure back.  
  
So, I got out of my chair, and made my way across the room, down the hallway and towards the back. I could feel every eye upon me, boring into my skull with their eyes. Burning glares directed at me. Heads turning in unison to my moves. But I didn't care, not exactly 'care' really, just 'acknowledge.'  
  
I pressed my ear lightly to the door, carefully leaning against it and not making any sound. I've become quite good at this actually, so it wasn't a big problem for me. From within, husky voices could be heard conversing with each other.  
  
"Um hum."  
  
"So what do you think?"  
  
"You might be right, by the looks of it."  
  
"I'm not sure about it though."  
  
"It would have been pawned for money."  
  
"So this must mean – "  
  
"Yeah, definitely."  
  
"So we have a little thief on our hands."  
  
"He does a good 'homeless' act, can tell ya that."  
  
"You can't predict what they'll do these days."  
  
"But where from?"  
  
"Eh........by the looks of it, a museum."  
  
"Should we check up on this to make sure?"  
  
"No need, it's too obvious."  
  
"What should we do? He's just a kid."  
  
"Stealing something of this value can't be taken lightly, it's not just shoplifting."  
  
"We'll deal with him like all the crooks that come in here then."  
  
"Good, but do it quickly."  
  
End Entry  
  
+++++++++++  
  
A/N: Technically, there weren't any swear words in this chapter so the rating's the same.  
  
Replies:  
  
~yla/all4him~ Thanks for the review, I'm glad you like the story. It's too bad that you won't get to figure out who the hikari is any time soon though but you can still keep guessing if you like. I love your new s/n name, it's awesome! All4him, hmm are you a Christian? Your profile said you wanted to be a youth leader so I was guessing you are. It's not easy to find a fellow Christian (if that's indeed what you are) on ff.net so I'm glad to see someone. Sometimes a person can tell by what people write, otherwise, no clue. Anyways, thanks again ^_^.  
  
~Yugi and Mai~ Whoa, that is the longest review I've ever gotten and I'm not complaining. So here's a long reply. You guys (um...is it you guys or just you?) were so encouraging and helpful, how can I not continue? I appreciate your honesty and the genuine sincerity in your opinions about the discontinuing thing. Some people just become dissuaded out of continuing something that doesn't seen to be going anywhere and some just keep on going no matter what. I guess it just depends on how keen they are on whatever it is that they're trying to accomplish. My writing is basically a light hobby thing but it's mostly swayed by the public (its kind of an unconscious thing, can't help it) so it follows what people want or what's most interesting at the time. Nothing serious, really. About that comment about the "cruel and heartless fic," I wasn't dissing it, just part of my yami's personality ^_^(). Wow, that was lame, anyways, a topless Yami Yugi you ask? Yup and he's all done up in gold too. He got the big hug and kiss you wanted as did Yami Bakura and with big blushes say thanks. Yugi feels a lot better now, and so does Ryou. One more thing, I was twisting each chapter around to intentionally keep the readers guessing muhahaha.  
  
~Princess Krystal01~ I'm glad you thought it was sad because that's the mood I wanted to set. I noticed the last chapter had a few small instances of humour in it but it was unavoidable (at least for me anyways). I'll try to cut down on the humour, thank you for the review.  
  
~Star Girl11~ Well, that was very honest and.....forceful. Lol, but thanks I like that kind of persuasion. Sometimes you just have to knock people back into their senses when they get dazed out. It's too bad none of your favourite authors are updating, ff.net can sometimes clash with people's outside-anime lives that, I know.  
  
~Dark Magician Girl / Hikaru~ Thanks for the review, it's great that you gave one for every chapter so far. Actually, I don't really drool over guys either, I just put that guy thing in to make it look less like I was complaining. It sort of got boring after awhile so I'm trying to find ways to make it sound more exciting (and failing miserably ^_^()) Anyways, thanks!  
  
~Angel in Disguise8~ Just try to chase me around school. You'll get sick of it sooner or later, I just know it. Yeah, it's nice that you like my writing, but I don't really think it's all that 'mysterious.' The 'millennium....?' Thing was just to bug people a bit as was the 'boy named....' thing. It's nothing big but I just like to do that sometimes. If you're confused of who the hikari person is, don't worry about it, you're not alone. According to who people think that person is, the pattern is: Yugi, Malik/Ryou, Malik, and Yugi. Yup, it's confusing but that just means I know what I'm doing. Anyways, thanks for the review, but you need to update yours too, but I know you're busy (and lazy ^_^, hey those two words sort of rhyme!) so don't worry about it too much.  
  
~inuyasha0001~ Hey, you like Inuyasha too? That's cool. I'm glad you like the fic and as you can see, I didn't discontinue it. Everyone wants to know who the hikari is but since I've been twisting it around quite a bit, its kinda hard to tell. If you want to guess, than be my guest. Anyways, thanks again ^_^. 


	6. Entry Five

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh.  
  
**Entry 5**  
  
Intense heat.  
  
So hot, so hot I can barely breathe. Something or someone is pulling me deeper and deeper into a dark hole, I'm sinking further every passing second into a warm almost liquidy-soft abyss. The bright light above me disappears into the distance as a fall away from what looks like reality.  
  
Swirling colours and lights surround my mind, embracing the space around me. Rubbing my eyes doesn't help, it just makes it worse. Everything is so blurry, it's difficult to make out where I am....or is it what I am? What I am seeing, hearing, feeling. The noises which come from every direction, merge together to form an incomprehensible babble, too loud to stand. It's attacking me from every side.  
  
Stop this! I can't stand the noise!  
  
I need to get out, need to break loose from this invisible hold. It's too strong, and I'm too weak to withstand or escape from it. What is it? The darkness dissipates in blotches all around, uncovering something beneath. Almost like the spots on a Dalmatian shrinking in, leaving nothing but white, the black's craters constantly branch out to join one another leaving only small traces of ebony behind.  
  
Emptiness  
  
Far beyond what I can see and even beyond that. The eerily silent whiteness carries a suffocating heat, one that can wrap a person's body and bind them with its cloudy warmth. A tight electric blanket turned up all the way, sealing my body, forced over my head and fixing together my legs. Yet I stand completely mobile, staring out to the nothingness.  
  
Silvery long hair and finely dressed, a man stands alone in the middle of this emptiness. In one hand, he holds a delicately designed card adorned with an authentic shine, the other, he clings onto a golden treasure. My treasure to be precise. I can tell quite clearly by the desirable look in his eyes that he wants it. He needs it. But for what reason, I don't know. He can't have though. Why? It's mine, and he knows it. An angry expression crosses his face as he drops my treasure on the ground in frustration. It lands with a 'clink' as he follows its path, falling to his knees in despair. He reaches for it, hand shaking with the effort, but an invisible force roughly throws him aside. He fears something in it. Something. But he still wants it.  
  
He speaks.  
  
"It's not enough to hold it in my eyes; I have to feel it beneath my fingers to be its master."  
  
Damn straight  
  
The treasure slips through his fingers every time he touches it and eventually slides out of his reach entirely. And so, he gives up. The card he held so dearly in his hands crumble and fall to the ground in a fine sand-like dust beneath his knees. With a last choked effort, he hopelessly gathers the sand in his hands, letting it fall through each digit. With that, his body disintegrates and falls as well.  
  
I blink once to see a dark star-studded sky hovering above a crystal blue lake. The boat I'm sitting in floats quietly on the gentle water as I stare out at my new surroundings. How serene.  
  
There's someone standing on the shore, and he signals me to come over. A kind expression mixed with melancholy, confusion and wonder. A friend. The thought of that word is foreign to my mind and my lips but what other word could I use in its stead? Friend will do. He's a friend. Not just a friend either, he seems to know me. It's strange that that doesn't surprise me because I haven't seen him before in my life. His hands gently cup a golden object very similar to mine. Maybe it came form the same family or grouping that mine did. His countenance mirrors the same fear, confusion and unusual air of protection for this piece of gold as mine does.  
  
Meeting him on shore, I feel a calming peace where we stand. My pain and anguish melted away before I really noticed and with that, comes a very serious look on his face. Out of nowhere, he firmly places his hand on my shoulder and stares directly into my eyes.  
  
"You have to know."  
  
Know? Know what? This stranger's urgent tone takes me by surprise, but I try to listen intently.  
  
"Listen to me for it is important."  
  
I'm listening.  
  
"Don't let it overcome you."  
  
What is that supposed to mean? This is all too confusing. The information his is giving me comes out chopped up in pieces and I can't grasp what he's saying.  
  
"What is written...."  
  
A pounding headache forms in my mind, drowning out his words. No, I need to hear it, it's important.  
  
".....the key to finding out."  
  
Ahh, it's a chainsaw in my head and it's taking away my consciousness. All I caught form that was the word 'key' but that doesn't apply to me does it? This pain is blurring my already weak vision and dragging me down to the ground.  
  
"No, don't go yet."  
  
I'm sorry. I can't control it. It's happening again. The same roasting, blinding heat is pulling me back and I am helpless to stop it. My drowning senses feel like a weight on my shoulders and I.....can't.....hold.....on......  
  
"GET OUT OF THE WAY KID!"  
  
My eyes snap open to see...a garbage truck? The exhaust fumes coming from its rear end is hot and suffocating, but I can just make out the angry red- faced man standing beside it. The thunderous honking from another man behind the wheel is almost unbearable, giving me a difficult time gathering my senses.  
  
Okay, okay. Question: who am I? Answer: me of course. Question: where am I? Answer: where I've been for days now, the alleyway. Question: is all my stuff with me? _glance_ Answer: yes. Question: what are these garbage men doing here? Answer: it's garbage day and they're here to gather all the junk random, lazy people leave in this alleyway disregarding the fact that a person actually 'lives' here. Question: what just happened? Answer: it was all a dream.  
  
That was all so real. From the crystal clear images of the policemen and convicts to the blurry visions of the silvery-haired man and the boy, I lost myself in the dream world without even realising it. It's weird how things considered unusual in reality seem perfectly normal in a dream. You could be chased by a giant banana in your sleep and never notice the queer situation but worry more about running for your life. Sometimes I'm not entirely sure which world I'm living in.  
  
All of them point to my treasure but I am not fully aware of why. My need to protect this hunk of gold grows stronger every time it happens though. I need to keep it safe, for a purpose, for a reason, on in which I have no control over yet have full power over. Whatever the 'pull' may be, my subconscious yields to it, taking me into that direction.  
  
Grabbing my bag and holding it close; I'm suddenly overwhelmed with loneliness. I'm all alone now, with nobody here to help me, or protect me, or even love me. I've denied this feeling for so long now, covering it up by calling it 'freedom.' The truth is, this isn't freedom at all, more like a type of bondage, something I've realised all along but fail to admit.  
  
Everyone needs someone, that's one of the first lessons learnt. Society is based on socializing. What about me? I don't have anyone. Sure, I see people time to time but is that really enough. What about relationships?  
  
All this self pity is wearing me down. I...I promised not to cry, remember? I said I wouldn't but it's so, so hard. I'm just a kid after all. Wow, this is really pathetic. I mean really pathetic. All this soft mushy stuff is wrong for a street kid like me. It must be the weather that's causing this sting in my eyes. The watering too. Stupid allergies.  
  
I need something to eat.  
  
Oh, great, people are staring at me now. Why...can't...I...stop? C'mon now, stop it already! This is like a broken faucet that can't be turned off, just running on its own free will. Just wonderful, now I got my nose going too. As long as I keep my face turned away from them, maybe no one would notice me. The only thing I have to wipe my eyes and nose right now is a sleeve, that'll have to do. I'd rather not get the pages of this journal dirty.  
  
"Everything alright son?"  
  
What? There's someone behind me. Oh, this is o embarrassing, of all the things that draw attention I just had to....  
  
"Are you lost?"  
  
His voice sounds familiar, but I've never really heard it before. The words déjà vu comes to mind.  
  
Turning around, my eyes catch a shiny golden badge attached to a navy blue jacket. His pants and hat matching each other, forming an ensemble. Is this a cop? He gives me a concerned look but his hazel eyes are warm and kind.  
  
"An old lady spotted you here and thought you might be lost."  
  
An...old lady?  
  
"Sorry to scare you, but there's nothing to worry about, I'm officer Francis Nielsen."  
  
Nielsen.....Nielsen.....  
  
Taking his extended hand, I gently shake it and drop mind down. Ugh, everything seems so, so familiar. Where have I seen this guy before, and what's this about some 'old lady?' It's so hard to remember. This is just something that's really bugging me right now as if it's on the tip of my mind but I can't entirely grasp onto it. Think, think.  
  
"So tell me son, what's your name?"  
  
"My name?" Oh, it's –  
  
"Actually, why don't you come with me, we can talk things over in the car. What's important now is to get you something to eat; you're all skin and bones."  
  
I guess when he said 'talk things over' he meant that he'd be doing most of the talking and I'd just sit there and listen. Guess I've grown perceptive to this sort of thing but when adults or at least people with a lot of insight notices when a kid's nervous, they'll try to strike up some sort of hearty conversation to break the ice. This cop isn't doing such a wonderful job at it but at least he's friendly. Or maybe it's a thing with all police people.  
  
The station is nothing I imagined it to be. This place is bustling with activity and business and crowded with various workers. Everywhere I look, someone's answering a phone or making photocopies. Kind of funny that my image of a police station is one of which there is a room full of convicts sitting quietly with their wrists handcuffed to their armrests. Well, there is one guy sitting in the corner, he's bald and full of piercings and tattoos but he doesn't seem to be doing anything.  
  
After handing me a sandwich, the cop asks me a few questions and I end up telling him about my foster parents and Julie. Conveniently, well depending on the point of view (not exactly 'convenient' for me) Nielsen knows Julie and offered to give her a call to bring her down here. I was reluctant. Very reluctant, for obvious reasons, but he went ahead and did it anyways.  
  
In what seemed like no time at all (a/n: sorry, this is getting kinda long here) Julie was down here carrying a large folder under her arm. She didn't scold me like I had expected her to about running away from Andersen's; in fact she looked a bit relieved. She gave the usual 'are you alrights' and 'how did you get heres,' things like that, and disappeared into a room with Nielsen within two minutes flat.  
  
Okay, well, nice to see you again too, I guess.  
  
It doesn't take a brilliant mind to figure out what to do in that situation. Nobody would notice since they were all busy with their own work and I would be very discreet about it anyways. Urgh, even this door looks familiar. How annoying.  
  
Pressing my ear against the cream-coloured wood, clear soft voices made their way through the door and towards me.  
  
"Oh, the sixth? Really now?"  
  
"I'm afraid so, he's a good boy but he doesn't seem to be compatible with any of the families I've arranged for him."  
  
"Well, maybe you're not looking at this in the right perspective."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"If something doesn't work than try a different approach. What I'm trying to say is maybe you should look elsewhere."  
  
"You mean in another city?"  
  
"Country..."  
  
"You can't be serious!"  
  
"What have you got to lose? I think six times is enough to make one consider a more radical change."  
  
"But where?"  
  
"Well, let's see."  
  
They want to move me into another country? I can't believe it's that serious. Well, considering the fact that I haven't turned out so well where I am now, I guess that was a natural option to take. Hmm, a new country. A new beginning. A new life. Hopefully a better one than I have now.  
  
"I've got it!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Come look at this."  
  
"Um hum, not a bad choice."  
  
"So....what do you think?"  
  
"We'll give it a try."  
  
"Alright then, Domino, Japan it is."  
  
**End Entry  
**

* * *

A/N: Is it possible to have humour and angst in the same story? I'm not too happy with this chapter; I'll try to make the next one better. Thanks for reading.  
  
Replies:  
  
**Yugi and Mai** Hey thanks for the encouragement, it really helps. I'm glad you like the pretty little description in the beginning because I just love the way people like that look, lol, just joking. Hey, don't put yourself down like that. I doubt your writing is rubbish cause everyone has their own style and they just have to find out what that is. There's nothing wrong with practicing at if you aren't confident at what you can do so you can improve on your abilities. Not everything has to be posted on ff.net. Just try that, but it's your choice so you can do whatever you feel is best. Ouch, I just notice that I dropped a big lump's worth of a clue in this fic. Whistling hope no one notices too much. Oh, and thanks for planning on adding me to your favourites, you and your sis are great.  
  
**Molly-chan the Anime/Game fan** Actually, that's a good idea. I think I'll make this AU just to make it a little more difficult to guess. It's sort of AU already since I don't think any of this stuff would actually happen to any of the hikaris, but who knows. Thanks for the review and..... the idea :D.  
  
**yla/all for him** Thanks for the review and for reviewing the other story too. Well in a sense I can tell whether a person is or is not by some of the things they write. I won't go into much detail because of the risk of accidentally insulting anyone but I hope you know what I mean.  
  
**Dark Magician Girl / Hikaru** One of those guesses is definitely right, I can tell you that. But yeah, I like weird, weird is good and you can tell that by the way I started of this chappy. I try to do that to keep the story more interesting than it would've been without all the weird stuff. Anyways, thanks for the review!  
  
**inuyasha0001** You're lucky where you're from cause they aren't airing the new episodes here, grrr, it was getting to the good parts too. I like the dubbing in Inuyasha better than in Yu-Gi-Oh though cause they keep more of the real storyline and culture intact. Plus Miroku is such a hentai . Yeah, you're right, the cops should have researched it but it turned out to be all a dream so it's all good. Thanks for the review.


	7. Entry Six

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or the fourth opening song from Inuyasha "Grip!"  
  
**A/N:** Slight AU, but very, very little of it, from this chappy onwards. No more new characters are going to be added to make it easier cause lol, everyone's just everywhere with their guesses. From this chapter on or after this chapter, I'm not going to say. For those who know this song, I'm only pulling out snippets of the lyrics, not the whole thing. English included, please read and review.  
  
**Entry 6**  
  
_"Ohaya!"  
_  
Excuse me?  
  
_"Doushito no?"  
_  
Pardon me?  
  
_"Daijoubu desu ka?"  
_  
What?

* * *

They were like The Odd Couple, except the fact that they weren't a couple. Water and dust, heavy and light, gentle and rough, etcetera, etcetera. Or a comparison a little bit closer to home, well home for the past few minutes anyways, Yin and Yang. Message across, point taken.  
  
Grey and stout, his forehead was lined with folded wrinkles beneath flimsy strands of aged tresses. For one of a seasoned soldier appearance, his stance is stern, determined decisive; almost intimidating had it not been to the obvious weariness in his composure. A pair of dark eyes filled with volumes worth of history, knowledge and experience scan up and down every aspect of the youth before him. A few grunts escape his throat. Some nods here and there.  
  
Somewhat like a canine breeder inspecting the newest puppy in the litter.  
  
Every so often, the right corner of his faded lips would tug upwards in a gesture of approval or pulled down (with a 'click' of the tongue) in a negative response. The rest just followed the ensemble naturally. Arms folded neatly with the elbows pointing to 3 and 9. Feet slightly parted level to the shoulders. Back straight, though with a slightly rounded posture. And dignity clearly radiating from the man's overall.......presence.  
  
Then again, you can't judge someone by his looks; you need his words for confirmation. "You must be the shonen we have been expecting." "Come in." "Your bedroom is up the stairs, the third door on the right after the first turn." "The other rooms aside the obvious are forbidden." "I shall call you down for dinner when it is time." "You may address me as sofu, or "Pops" if you wish."  
  
First impression confirmed. And his attire? Well.....  
  
One may think he has acres worth of agricultural land in his backyard. I'm saying that of course with no real insult intended. Courtesy is a key issue in this country; I learned that the hard way.  
  
A bright, sincere smile on a pair of rose, pink lips grace a gentle, delicately refined countenance. Two happy, sparkling orbs with a miniscule tinge of worry match her looks perfectly. Thick strands of her hair surround her head and fall just above her shoulders in straight, short, layered locks. She carried the same straight posture and confident demeanour as the man but had more of a softened, feminine stance and a considerable height advantage to him.  
  
Silky hands grab my own in a welcoming handshake as she slowly leads me into her home. Light and cheery remarks to match: "My, such an amai person you are, do come in dear." "Make yourself at home; no need to be shy." "If you need anything, feel free to motomeru, oh sorry, I mean ask, okay?" "Well, let's see now......why don't you call me /giggles softly/ omaasan, I really don't like formalities."  
  
Meh, 'omaasan' must be her name or something if she didn't like formalities.  
  
The house was not quite what I'm used to seeing but I guess the differences lie in the fact that this is Japan, a place practically (maybe a little bit on the exaggerating side) half way around the world from where I grew up. When it all boils down, this place is primarily not too different from average homes I've seen. It's clean with a few bouquets of flowers sitting vases and pictures hanging on the walls. There's a kitchen, living room, bedrooms, bathroom, the works. The T.V. was turned on showing, what I'm guessing, is a Japanese animation show. And of course, furniture galore. Well, now, I'm better off than I thought.  
  
At least this time.  
  
There was nothing much to see so I headed for my bedroom right away. Passing by the living room, I couldn't help but catch the show in on T.V. with the teensy bit of interest. Okay fine, it was weird, that's why it caught my attention. But hey, who isn't captivated by the 'abnormal' or 'out of the ordinary'? Some white haired dog-uh-guy was swinging around a giant sword and fighting all these bizarre-looking creatures. I didn't really understand the theme song because well, DUH! But the music was catchy.  
  
_Nigedasu koto mo dekizu ni yume ni sugaritsu Itkasama na habi nado ni wa mou makenai (Unable to escape from it, we cling to our dreams; we won't lose anymore to the everyday trickery)  
_  
"Ahem, cough, cough"  
  
Whoa, since when has he been standing there? He must not like me or something. 'Sofu' or 'pops' or whatever is giving me strange looks already. Is it because I'm watching his T.V. when I'm not supposed to or is it something else? It's sort of unnerving having that old man stand there by the door just...glaring at me. Better go up to my room.  
  
The music is so loud that I could still hear it as I walk quietly to my room, trying my best to avoid any eye contact. How stupid of me to make a first impression _like that_. Especially in front of a person _like that_. Funny how his glance dropped straight to my treasure when I walked by, but of course how could I have known that when I wasn't making eye contact right? Yeah right. This family's hating me already.  
  
"Hmm, Sennen Item....."  
  
I'm going to ignore that.  
  
The bedroom was...wow! I mean this is too good to be true. Details? What can I say? There's just too much to say. This is something I just can't say. Is there a point to anything I say? Then there's really nothing to say. I'm flabergastered. There, I just said it. Perhaps something a bit more understandable. Well this could be compared to eating plain bread all your life and suddenly being introduced to a variety of different cakes. The place seemed to have be made for my arrival. A medium-sized bed in the centre with a nightstand to its left. Small shelves holding figurines of various sizes. A bookshelf filled with books (in Japanese). And a closet to hold clothes and other miscellaneous items. This may not seem like much but it's too much for me.  
  
All this is wonderful. Too wonderful even. But, the joy from learning of what you have in your hand or what you are to gain lasts for that instant moment and then you are back to where you started. What do I do with all this? Stare at it? Then when I'm done, stare at it some more? So what do I do after that? This room is, in reality, very empty. It's been empty the moment I arrived here and will remain empty until I really find something that'll last me. The word 'find' is very accurate, actually. I know what I need, all I have to do is find it. My search has been all too long and the emptiness is growing very familiar. Six, this being the seventh, different places, with six different families, with six different environments, with six different expectations and I'm still searching.  
  
_Mezameyou kono shunkan wo; yagate bokura wo torimaku dearou; musekaeru you na riaru na nichijou; taisetsu na mono wa...nanda'?! (Wake up right now; soon we seem to be surrounded; by the REAL world choking us; your important person...is who?)  
_  
Just relax and calm down now. The bed sheets feel cool and crisp under my fingers as I tiredly flop down on the mattress, sinking into its softness. The music from downstairs filtering into my ears is something that'll keep my mind from wandering. Either that or, it would promote deeper wandering, though the language is foreign to me. The T.V. sure is loud.  
  
_Zeitaku na sekai no naka ni miekakure suru eien no kakera; sawatte tsukanade bokura no ima wo kicchiri aruitekou (In the luxury world, shards of eternity are appearing and disappearing; touch and seize it, now let's precisely walk this way)  
_  
I don't want to believe it, but its reality. I give it six months, a year at best before Julie receives The Call. The call to get me out of here as quickly as possible. The call to relocate me to a place far away, out of these people's hair. The call that would mean disappointing her AGAIN, and that, for me, there's still more searching to do. All well, best to look up and not think about that. Take it one day at a time, because after all, what do I know? With time, the unknown will become the known, that's what my sister always taught me. There goes the wondering.  
  
_"Koukai wa shinai" to, saki e susunda; warau ka, naku ka? Kou ka, fukou ka? Kekkyoku ima mo wakaranai kedo; kawarihajimeta mirai ni hirumo koto wa nai ("Without regret" we advanced to our destination; will we laugh? Will we cry? Will we be happy? Will we be unhappy? Afterall now, yet I still don't understand; in the future you start to change, don't falter)  
_  
Thinking negatively brings negative thoughts. Negative thoughts bring negative realities. Where did I hear that from? Negative realities, come and go as they wish. You don't necessarily need to _think_ about them. And I am being positive. Why not? Up, up, there's not way but up from here. Positive, positive, positive. The word is starting to lose meaning already.  
  
_Sore ga jinsei no daigomi to iu mono deshou (That's life's essence)  
  
_A knock on the door  
  
"May I come in?"  
  
"Yes"  
  
A head pokes in through the creaked-open door. Oh, it's him. Pops opens the door all the way and quietly lets himself in. The music raises a notch in volume as the door opens but drowns out again as he shuts it. I could still hear it. Very loud indeed.  
  
Sitting himself down on the edge of the bed, he picks up a small figurine off the nightstand and fiddles around with it. He's just sitting there, silently staring at the little figure in his wrinkly hands, not saying a word. He must be deeply absorbed. This isn't the reason why he came here. Whatever he means to say must be difficult.  
  
"I feel this is an appropriate time to talk since you will be with us from now on."  
  
His voice is a soothing whisper, nothing like the way he spoke to me before.  
  
"I apologize for my unwelcoming attitude towards you earlier."  
  
"Uh, that's alright, I didn't notice."  
  
"The truth is, we are very pleased to have you here with us, I just had a terrible headache before so I wasn't in the best of moods."  
  
"Oh, okay."  
  
"If you don't mind my asking of your history, may I ask what forced to go through so many different homes?'  
  
_Reikoku na sekai no naka de tsubusaresou na aijou no mebuki; sawatte tsukande bokura no ima ni shikkari kizamakomou (In this cruel world, love's bud will probably be smashed; touch and seize it, now we engrave it firmly)  
_  
"She said I wasn't compatible with them."  
  
"Is that a necessity? There must be another reason."  
  
"There isn't."  
  
"/chuckles/ be honest now boy."  
  
"They didn't like me and I never cared for them either."  
  
His eyes widened a bit at the sheer bluntness of my comment. Ack, tone it down, tone it down, remember the courtesy.  
  
"I'm so sorry."  
  
"No need, you were being truthful. Tell me, do you like it here?"  
  
"Yes, thank you so much for you hospitality, it's more than I deserve."  
  
"You're too formal, you don't need to be so, excuse me, 'uptight' in this household, this is Japan after all."  
  
".....OO......"  
  
"And don't put yourself down either, you're a unique individual, or else why would you have received a Sennen Item."  
  
"What'd you say?"  
  
"Just, nothing. Old man's drabble is all."  
  
"So you know about this golden...thing? Can you tell me about it?"  
  
"No"  
  
"But I – "

"I was just...mindlessly thinking out loud, I don't know anything."

'I thought- "  
  
"I don't know _anything_ about it, just keep it safe so no, no robbers would try to break into my house and steal it."  
  
"But sir!"  
  
"I don't want the peace in my home disturbed because you brought a hunk of eye-catching gold into it."  
  
"But you just called it the Sennen Item"  
  
"I said no such thing."  
  
"But I – "  
  
"I said NO SUCH THING!  
  
"It's just that – "  
  
"My, you are a cheeky one aren't you? Learn to speak to your elders properly."  
  
"I-I must have....m-misheard you."  
  
"Yes you did. I will be preparing dinner downstairs, wash up or skip it, your choice."  
  
And with that, he stands up and is out the door within three seconds. First day and I manage to screw it up already. How long am I going to last in this place if I have to live with _that _everyday? One minute he's cranky and mean, the next he's all "don't be so uptight, this is Japan", then he yells at me and storms out of the room, and for no good reason either. He did, have a weird eye for my treasure; maybe he plans to take it. He did mention someone 'stealing' it. No doubt he's hinting at something there. I must be careful, obviously I can't trust anyone here, I guess it's time to find another hiding place.  
  
If Julie was here right now, she would have tisked at me for my sudden suspicion. "_So you_ _started off on the wrong foot_," she would say. "_so you've caused a small upset with a family_ _member, and so it seems like they dislike you, but that doesn't mean they hate you or_ _that you've messed up, with time, you can gain their trust and they'll see you for the person_ _you really are_." That Julie, always saw the good in everyone. She's never given up on anything and has always found a loophole in any tough situation. She's really one to look up to. And she's right; I can make up for this, even if it's going to be hard. Courteous, respectful, politeness, courteous, respectful, politeness. That's the way.  
  
_Saigo ni, warau tame bokura no ima wo kicchiri aruitekou (In order to smile in the end, we now walk precisely this way)  
  
_**End Entry  
**  
In case anyone was wondering:  
  
Ohaya = good morning

Doushito no = what's wrong?

Daijoubu desu ka = are you okay?

Amai = sweet  
  
**Replies:**  
  
**Molly-chan the Anime/Game fan:** Actually, AU makes it a lot easier for me to write cause it would be too obvious if I didn't. It was already kinda AU anyways, so no need to worry about it. I'm not adding anymore characters to make up for that AU thingy, though, that's something right? Anyways, thanks for the review.   
  
**yla/all4him:** A lot of people seem to like that stuff though. The more twisted they get the more people they bring in. It's hard to imagine where all that came from because I don't think you see too much of it in anime, specifically Yu-Gi-Oh. So, you still think its Ryou huh? Okay, lol, thanks for reviewing.  
  
**Fushicho Hime:** Hey, thanks for liking this. Uh...for me, this is just plain strange. And I can't help but make it strange because of the trying-to-hide- hikari's-identity thing and the fact that it's written in first person so I'm trying to make everything observed as realistic and possible. You have a good point about Ryou's eyes, they're very warm and gentle aren't they? Thanks for the review!  
  
**Dark Magician Girl / Hikaru:** Well, it is just one of them. My descriptions have been hopping around a lot so it's confusing. I'm trying to make the next chapters more exciting but technically the hikari hasn't met any of the characters yet so nothing much can happen then and it's in first person so he writes what he sees/feels. Thanks for the review!  
  
**Yugi and Mai:** You're right, Ryou and Malik are both from different countries so it only makes sense that they're the only possibilities right? Well, this has a teensy bit of AU in it so Yugi could be from anywhere as well. The hikari never really mentioned where he was from so, well, who knows. Thanks for the review and yeah, the Marik duel is much better than the Pegasus one.  
  
**inuyasha0001:** sigh you don't know how lucky you are. Guess I should've been happy that they only repeated the episodes because now they took it off the air. Poof, gone, hopefully not forever. I put this song in as sort of a special little thing for Inuyasha going off the air, but I think they're just spending time dubbing the newer episodes. Thanks for reviewing!


	8. Entry Seven

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh.  
  
A/N: Sorry about the confusion last time, I'll try to make things clearer.  
  
**Entry 7  
**  
What did they think they were doing?! Three weeks! THREE WEEKS!! And they.....  
  
Okay, maybe the real question here is 'how long did I expect them to wait for?' Perhaps this makes more sense than I made myself believe it to be. Ssss, this water stings, better turn down the hot tap. These things don't have a perfectly set time limit, at least not in Japan I don't think, and it was their choice, not mine. It could have been worse, much worse. They could have made the three weeks a 'today,' or a 'two days' or any other amount of time below three weeks. Ouch, where's the cotton swabs? But that was looking at the bright side. Three weeks compared to like what, one and a half years? Is a bit more staggering, and a negative kind of staggering at that. Oooh ah ah cold, cold, maybe I should've waited for this ice pack to melt a little before I used it.  
  
They didn't expect this and neither did I for that matter, but it really put some raw information into my head. And not only raw stuff in my head but raw sores all over and raw feelings as well. Okay, so I sound like a girl talking about 'feelings' but mine took a hard hit which I'm still stumbling from. Oh good, there's a couple of band-aids left. The source of this shiner on my face and the dozens other lining my body was a kid supposedly in my grade. To be honest, the physical injuries are not what's bothering me the most but the realization that I'm weak is. And trust me, hearing it is entirely different from finding out for yourself. Where's the rubbing alcohol?  
  
It originally began as sofu's idea but later, omaasan caught onto it as well. Things were pretty quiet for the three weeks I've been staying in their home and I began to grow on them quite well. The thought of school barely even crossed my mind as I had never set foot in one for the last one and a half years. I dropped out while I was still in elementary school (hmm, what grade was it?) but occasionally went back depending on whose family fostered me.  
  
I wonder if gauze is really necessary for this. All well, there's plenty here.  
  
Obviously the first few thoughts that dropped in my head were the same as anyone else's. They were the usual 'will I make any friends?' 'will I be able to catch up or even follow what the others are doing?' 'how am I supposed to behave in a Japanese school?' and of course: 'what the heck am I doing going to school? I haven't been there for the longest time. Are these people insane?' But I soon realised they were serious when they handed me a backpack and some notebooks. I reluctantly accepted them.  
  
Ack, I hate having to use iodine.  
  
I know what happened wasn't entirely my fault; at least I'd like to think it wasn't, but I have to keep this from sofu and omaasan to stay out of more trouble. They are actually very good people who have good intentions and I don't want to scare or disappoint them. So what does this mean for me? Well I guess it means that I need to learn how to get blood stains out of my uniform, patch up ripped part of my clothes, cover up my injuries, make up good excuses for the ones I can't cover up and most of all, be very careful with everything I do. Too bad I was a little late with omaasan.  
  
I'm not exactly in the mood to recall this but it would make more sense if I did. My thoughts are just everywhere right now and it feels like there's a big hole in my stomach. I need something warm to eat.  
  
I started off on I guess what people would say is the right foot. Sort of. It was unusual to stand in front of an entire classroom to be introduced but it didn't bother me. What did bother me was the fact that some of the taller (most likely older) students in the back were giving me nasty, dirty looks in which I tried hard to ignore. My seat was right beside a person named Miho who was pretty nice except for the fact that she gave me slightly odd glances from time to time when she thought I wasn't looking. Yeah, she 'thought' I wasn't looking but I'm not that dense.  
  
The teacher seemed to have received a long and serious conversation from Julie as well as an overweight file full of documents about me because he half-heartedly excused me from doing any worked that day and allowed me to sit and watch. It was a nice gesture, I guess. Caused some snickers from Miho though.  
  
My guess is that the students in this class must really like the teacher because his lessons seem very short giving them time in the remaining duration of the class to do what they wanted. There was the usual small talk from a group of giggling girls in one of the corners with a pile of "Seventeen" magazines in their possession, the occasional paper airplane cutting through the air by a random person, a couple of guys comparing their latest video games and the loner sitting in the back 'pretending' not to notice anyone.  
  
And.... a card game?  
  
They were a small group of people, no more than five, and they seemed to be engrossed in a sort of trading card game. Upon closer inspection (I was very subtle in getting close to them) it was a card game that I've seen before. A long time ago I used to practice playing the game myself but it just wore off on me. Interested as they were, they weren't too good at it, newbies perhaps, but enjoyed the game for having someone to play with. I could have showed them some stuff but.........eh.........too shy. That and the fact that this classroom radiated as sense of isolation toward the new guy so I just watched.  
  
Truth be told, I couldn't help but notice the 'loner' in the back of the class. He didn't look like the loner type; in fact, my first impression of him was that he was the 'popular one' with no real need for friends but flunkies and followers who exist to praise his very existence (later found out how close to the truth I really was O.O). Seto Kaiba was indeed the loner type but not because no one else liked him, it was because he liked no one else. His disapproving 'hmphs' and occasional scowls hollered "I'm too good for all of you so don't even get within two metres of my space." Judging by the way he handled his laptop I could've sworn I heard a "and if you so much as graze my personal computer than you'd be lucky to go home crippled." Hey, I'm just looking at him here, how am I supposed to know whether that was an exaggeration or not.  
  
Hmmm, where have I seen that logo?  
  
But I digress, the day went by with none of the students saying anything to me or even acknowledging that I was there (no big deal, right?). Who would have thought the real trouble I got from school came _after_ I left the school. Oh the horrible irony.  
  
I didn't mind my time in school very much actually. The people were civil, the bathrooms were clean and I got through the day without embarrassing myself in any way. And so, I walked home, minding my own business when I was stopped by a big, bulky student. I didn't know it at first, but he was to be the one to put the finishing touches on my wonderfully perfect day of school.  
  
"New kid."  
  
"Huh? Y-yeah, that's me."  
  
"Where you going?"  
  
"Home, why?"  
  
"Hey, I don't like your attitude there, abazureon'na."  
  
"Abazureon'na?"  
  
"What'd you just call me, shiseiji?"  
  
"Umm......shiseiji?"  
  
"You got quite a lethal mouth there kid, don't you know who you're talking to?"  
  
"What? What did I say?"  
  
"Don't pretend to be a baka with me, freak!"  
  
"A baka? What's a....."  
  
I didn't know what happened then but whatever thin string that held his anger back snap that instant and I was faced with a red-faced, heaving bully looming over me. In a flash, he grabbed me by the collar, shoving me against the brick wall against a building where I got the wind knocked out of me. I felt my airway slowly closing as he gradually tightened his iron- grip around my neck and forced me harder into the wall. I tried to resist from gagging at the foul odour of his sour, cigarette mixed with decaying teeth breath as he pressed his forehead onto mine and death-glared me straight into the eyes.  
  
"You got some nerve, SOME NERVE, no one NO ONE has ever dared to say that stuff to me without having stupid in the brain."  
  
"I-I....../_cough, cough/._"  
  
"Ooh, what's the matter? Baby don't got more pretty words for me no more?"  
  
_"/cough, cough, wheeze, wheeze/_"  
  
"Aww, am I hurting you?"  
  
"/_cough, cough, nod, nod/_"  
  
"C'mon now, speak up, can't hear you."  
  
"/_hack, hack, grunt, grunt/_"  
  
"You know, it isn't too polite to be making rude noises at people'"  
  
"/_hack/ _P-p-pllleeehsse sthoooop."  
  
"What was that? Oh, you want me to stooooop?"  
  
"_/nod, nod/_"  
  
"Well what if I don't want to, what if I don't like to?"  
  
"/_hack, wheeze, hack, wheeze/ _P-p-plllheeeese....?"  
  
"Well, I don't know, but hey, I got a better idea, meh don't think you'd like it though, all well."  
  
And with that, he pulled his hand away from my throat and replaced it with a forceful shove onto the damp pavement. My vision blurred for a moment as I sucked in a gulp of precious, sweet air. When my eyes cleared, his hand had wrapped itself around my throat once more and he was sitting on my legs, pinning me to the ground. The enormous weight if him nearly snapped my legs in half but the immediate, sharp pain of a blow to the stomach made me forget all about it. It took me a while to register the repeated blows to my gut were from his huge fists because my head was painfully throbbing from the lack of air going into my body.  
  
He used me as a punching bag, a rag doll and a soccer ball for awhile until I passed out entirely. I didn't know what time it was when I finally came to but it was still light out so I figured that it hadn't been more than a few hours. I was greeted with the deep urge to throw up when my eyes finally snapped open but the red, glutinous substance I regurgitated wasn't vomit, no, it was blood. All those punches to the stomach must have damaged my stomach somehow and forced blood out. Such a bitter, coppery taste I had long forgotten. I lean against the wall to let the dizziness and throbbing pain throughout my body settle down before I stumbled home slowly.  
  
Upon entering my bedroom, I quickly tore off my ripped and stained clothes, donned on pyjamas and plopped on my bed exhausted. There was nothing to care about anymore. I could just leave that for when I woke up. At that moment, all I knew was that I was tired, very tired and needed sleep. The rest would come later. Mm, nice soft, clean bed. So tired, so tired.....  
  
I woke up feeling about 40% better than I did before. My stomach had settled down and the throbbing pain had lessoned a little. It was time to patch up my wounds and hide the fact that this ever happened to my foster parents. Only one problem: omaasan was standing over my bed with my damaged uniform in her hands and a very worried expression on her face. What to do now.  
  
"W-what happened to you today?"  
  
"Oh no, please don't tell anyone, especially not sofu."  
  
"I asked you what happened."  
  
"I-it was an accident, all an accident, I promised it won't happen again."  
  
"Tell me."  
  
"I-uh fell down the school stairs when, uh a guy sort of bumped into me. Hehe, those stairs, they're pretty big. Gotta watch my step next time."  
  
She squatted down in front of me with a light mist in her eyes and held up the clothes as if I was nearsighted or something. What a guilt trip. She spoke with the quietest of whispers.  
  
"Please, just tell me what happened to you."  
  
"Omaasan....."  
  
"Please....."  
  
"I......he... it....oh omaasan."  
  
And that did it. Hot tears burst from my eyes as omaasan grabbed me around the shoulders and hugged me close to he chest. No words came out as the sobs came endlessly into her shoulders and the ones that did were incomprehensibly chopped up drabble.  
  
"Just let it out dear, I'm here for you."  
  
She must have understood because she didn't force the words out of me like I thought she would've. All she did was hold me in her arms like a mother would have and rocked back and forth rubbing firm but gentle circles on my back. I couldn't help but cling onto her tightly. It felt so....right to be held like this and I wanted to keep this feeling for as long as possible. I was safe. And warm. And content.  
  
The flow of sobs and tears finally lessoned and I was finally able to speak again although my voice was muffled by her sweater in my face. I still needed that though.  
  
"I-it was a bully."  
  
"A bully?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Are you ready to tell me what happened now?"  
  
"Yeah. I was just walking home when this guy came up to me and started to cause trouble. I tried to avoid it as much as I could but he said some things I didn't even understand. After that, he became really angry with me for some reason and began to beat me up really hard. I eventually blacked out and when I woke up, I found all these sores on my body and came home. I was really tired after that and took a nap, then, then I woke up and, and saw......you here."  
  
"My poor chibi no tenshi. Are you alright? Do you need a doctor?"  
  
"No, I'll be fine."  
  
"We'll see what we can do about this later but right now I want you to be careful and stay away from him as much as possible alright?"  
  
"I will, for sure, but please don't tell sofu."  
  
"Well....."  
  
"I don't want him to worry too much about this."  
  
"Okay then but if anything else like this happens I will tell him."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Tell me, what could you have possibly said to that person to enrage him so?"  
  
"I uh, I don't know something about 'abazureon'na' and 'shiseiji' and 'baka' but I didn't really....."  
  
"You what?!"  
  
She quickly pulled away from me and placed her hands firmly on my shoulders holding me right in front of her face. Her look changed from compassion to shock in a snap of a finger as well as her tone. What could those simple words possibly mean?  
  
"Yeah, but....."  
  
"But nothing, that was rude and uncalled for. Where did you learn language like that?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"You know you shouldn't be saying those things to people."  
  
"Say what things?"  
  
"We don't use that kind of profanity in this house or anywhere else, understand?"  
  
"But I don't even know what......."  
  
"Perhaps you need to spend a little bit of time in your room. You may come out when called for."  
  
"No, wait."  
  
"Either that or put some soap in your mouth."  
  
And with that, omaasan stands up, takes my clothes with her and.......  
  
"But I don't........!!!!"  
  
Slam  
  
".......understand."  
  
Is out the door. There goes my only source of comfort, out the door like everyone else with little regard for what I have to say but only what they think I said. Predictable, as usual but this time, more disappointing and painful than ever. I really thought she cared, enough at least to let me squeak in one little tiny word in before she stormed off in a huff.  
  
As for me, I just sat there in a blinking shock. _My poor chibi no tenshi.  
_  
Okay so that was it. Just to clue in on what happened. Most of the injuries can be covered up by clothing and they're starting to heal anyways so I don't need to worry about a full body suit or anything of that sort. These purple-green-blue finger marks are going to take a long time to heal, if they do at all. As for now....  
  
...I'll just sleep it off. The worries can worry about themselves when I wake up.  
  
_End Entry_

* * *

abazureon'na = bitch (for females but I just put that in)  
  
shiseiji = bastard  
  
baka = idiot/stupid  
  
**A/N:** Sorry about the tenses, and the language by the "bully" I'm aware they don't speak that way in Japan.  
  
**Replies:  
**  
**TCGgirl124:** Glad you like it. Weird no? Yeah, I guess the problem with the asterisks happen with everyone because mine doesn't show up when I want them to either. It probably has something to do with the quick edit section newly installed by ff.net. It's a small setback but the feature is still very helpful. Thanks for the review.  
  
**Fushicho Hime:** Thanks for liking this. But yeah, hehe now he's in worst a shape than he was before. I like to make this weird because many of the other ff.net stories follow their own styles and I'm just making up one of my own. And also, some of them have pretty much repetitive themes so I just want to get off the main road. Thanks for the review.  
  
**Dark Magician Girl / Hikaru:** Yeah, he's weird. But then again, he's a confused and sad little boy who was just moved halfway around the world. I admit, the last chapter was confusing but I'm trying to avoid that as much as possible. Thanks you for the review.  
  
**Molly-chan the Anime/Game fan:** Glad it helps but it doesn't really mean that I'll actually be naming everyone he meets just to make it easier for me to twist around with. Meh, this is supposed to be serious but sometimes a bit of humour gets dropped in that I just can't help but add. It's just him. Anyways, thanks for the review.  
  
**Yugi and Mai:** Sorry bout that, anyways, the point is that this has very tiny bits of AU in it which means that Yugi COULD be from another country like the other two. This is to keep the options open for all three of them. And no, I don't watch Nickelodeon but I've heard of it. Why do you ask? So the movie thing is true? That's good news. Thanks for the review.  
  
**inuyasha0001:** /breathing out sigh of relief/ well I found out that Inuyasha is still on the air but it's on in the dead of night when I'm too tired to stay up and wait for. Something like 1 or 2 in the morning. But the shows are still repeats, which still sucks. Thanks for the review.  
  
**verdragon:** Hey, glad you like it. I'm trying to make my stories different in different styles just to avoid copying other people and their stories. The AUness is basically making it easier for me to keep this person in the dark because certain things only happen to each of the hikaris separately. Thanks for the review.  
  
**Amber Eyes:** Glad you like it. You're actually one of the few people who gave a definite guess. Others are changing their minds a lot which I guess is a good sign for me since I don't exactly want anyone to get it right away. Thanks for the review!


	9. Entry Eight

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh.  
  
**Entry 8**  
  
Trust: n. A firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability or strength of someone or something. _Like finding pure diamonds in the middle of a desert.  
_  
Honesty: adj. Telling or expressing the truth. _Like a chicken that lays golden eggs.  
_  
Loyalty: n. the state of being loyal. A strong feeling of support. _Like winning the lottery.  
_  
Respect: n. a feeling of admiration for someone because of their qualities or achievements. _Like crossing the finish line before 40 million others.  
_  
Friend: n. a person that one likes and knows well. A familiar or helpful thing. A person who supports a particular cause or organization. _Like a needle in a haystack.  
_  
Impossible: adj. not able to occur, exist, or be done. _Nothing is impossible._

_

* * *

_  
There are times when you feel you're at the peak of the world, high up on the mountain tops without a care for anything. You can do anything and you did everything so you have the security and comfort of lying back to watch those below. The shields are down, the armour is dropped and the sword is sitting in a corner somewhere collecting dust. No worries here. But of course, there are risks to being at such an elevation. When an avalanche strikes, it comes at you unexpectedly and usually hits you with full force. Your shield can't help you now because you've let go of it long ago. So you are sent tumbling down into the plains (if you are lucky enough not to be buried by snow) where the high just isn't quite there.  
  
Just a moment ago, you were on easy-street, high up where you struggled in nothing. Down here in the plains is where all your troubles come back for a visit, or even, to stay. You're in a wide, open field where you are vulnerable to anything and yet you look down further into the chasms of the world. Perhaps it could be worst, better to be on flat, sturdy ground than helplessly lying in a ditch. It's still tough though, but it's manageable.  
  
Now take a close look at the Earth's topography. There are much fewer mountains than there are plains and chasms combined. Those mountaintop experiences of yours aren't likely to come up as many times as your struggles down in the plains. But at least you know they're there. The Earth isn't _completely_ flat.  
  
Mine was though.  
  
At least I thought it was. Well flat with a couple of chasms in it. Probably because I've never really experienced a mountaintop view of the world so didn't know they existed. It's not like I won the lottery or somehow got hold of a chicken that produced golden eggs, you might even say it's nothing at all, but it does mean something to me. Why? Well, when you've never really been exposed to something like this, what you take for granted becomes one of the most important things in your life. The unusual part of this is that I found it in the last place I ever expected to.  
  
School  
  
In a sense it isn't really the last place expected but in a sense it is. You see, school is a place full of people. Expected. School is a place full of people that don't like me. Unexpected. I never really wronged anyone at school. Expected. I don't make an effort to speak to them either. Unexpected. See the contrasts?  
  
It's been months now; I think about four, that I've attended a Japanese school. Within these past few months I've run into hard times with the school bully (yes it was the same guy) and have had trouble keeping up. I'm basically not used to being in a school much, less one as fast paste as this one. My classmates seem to scorn the fact that I have a difficult time doing what they find easiest, so my best way out of that was to ignore them. But ignoring people doesn't really mean that I can't hear them, so their comments have been wearing me down slowly but surely.  
  
Amidst all the negative messages I've been receiving from school and the students there; it's obvious that I'd ignore any minuscule sign of people actually reaching out to me. My barriers are pretty thick by now, and with good reason too, so it blocks out everything coming at me, be they good or bad.  
  
It was the card-loving group that grabbed my attention.  
  
The first couple of signs were the glances they gave me every so often. Some of them were just to say 'hey there' others were 'geez, I feel kind of sorry for you' while others just acknowledged that I was there.  
  
I never noticed those.  
  
But it was the note that did the trick. I thought it was just a joke at first but it turned out that they were actually quite serious about it.  
  
_Hey there,  
  
Looks like you can use someone to hang with. Don't think that we're trying to bother you or anything, but hey, come on over anytime you want. Do you play?  
  
_Folded within the note was a Duel Monster card called 'Celtic Guardian."  
  
I must admit, I had to ask omaasan to help me read it since I still wasn't too sure how to read Japanese. I did, however learn a few of the cuss words going around so now I realise what I really said to the bully that day. I was pretty lucky to get out of there alive and with most of my bones intact. I can't imagine being so bold (or stupid, depending on which you think it is) as to swear at someone that can basically snap me in half.  
  
But I digress; I waved the note off as a joke and just tossed it in the trash can, along with the card. It may seem kind of mean at first but I really thought they were messing around with me on that whole 'come join us' invitation. It was something to get angry over.  
  
I walked home that day in a mood worse than the other days. I felt like punching or screaming at the next person who crossed my path. It was bad enough that people either picked on or isolated me but putting a false note on my desk to embarrass me was going even further. There was no way I was going to let myself be had by people who think it's a funny joke. Now I had to be even more careful.  
  
I was seething in anger and embarrassment (didn't really know why I was embarrassed since no one knew about the note but me) and kicked the rocks on the sidewalk all the way home. I should have been looking at where I was going because....  
  
"Oooph!"  
  
I looked up and there he was. That was the absolute worse time to run into him. Not that the others were particularly pleasant.  
  
"Sorry," I mumbled  
  
"Sorry? Is that all you got to say to me, Baka?"  
  
'Baka' was his patented nickname for me ever since my first run-in with him.  
  
/sigh/ "Yes."  
  
"Well you should think of something better than just 'sorry' when you bump into someone superior to you."  
  
He thought he was superior to me. That little comment just pissed me off even more.  
  
"Look, I don't have time to deal with you right now."  
  
"What was that you said?"  
  
I looked up and stared him straight in the eyes. At that moment, I didn't care about the consequences for my actions, all I could think of was the fact that I was extremely angry and needed to take it out on someone, anyone.  
  
"I. Need. To. Get. Home. So. Move. Out. Of. My. Way." I said through clenched teeth.  
  
The bully actually blinked a little in surprise. He never expected me to stand my ground after all those times of backing down to him. That brief little moment actually gave me a bit of satisfaction. But it was soon over and he glared at me with one of the meanest looks I've ever seen on him.  
  
"Are you actually trying to scare me, Baka or are you too stupid to learn from your first lesson?" He growled  
  
"Hmm? Oh sorry, guess I'm too _stupid _to answer that question. It might be hard but maybe you should try to figure that out for yourself." I retorted.  
  
What was I thinking?  
  
He grabbed me by the collar. Oh what a familiar position that was.  
  
"So the loner of the school has finally decided to commit suicide, well, I'll be glad to put you out of your misery."  
  
I swear I felt like knocking his teeth out at that moment even if I didn't really have much of a chance in doing so.  
  
"Suicide? Buddy if I was you, I'd be buried 6 feet under a looooong time ago."  
  
That did it.  
  
He said nothing but his actions spoke much louder than his words. He punched me once across the right cheek, sending me sprawling onto the ground. He was on me before I could recover and started pounding his fists into me, all of the punches either aimed for my head or chest. He stopped just before I felt I was going to pass out from the pain and dizziness.  
  
I barely cracked open my eyes to see him sitting on top of me, panting heavily and grinning like a maniac. He had beads of sweat pouring down his face like he'd just poured water all over his head. How could he sweat that much already? Maybe the heat had to do with it or maybe he was just so bug and bulky that a tiny bit of a work out forced that much sweat out of him. Or maybe he was a smoker, there were many possibilities.  
  
With the small ounce of strength I had left, I tried to figure out why he kept on grinning like that. He was probably happy to get me back for those comments I gave him but that would have been only a brief bit of satisfaction. Hmm....  
  
His grin became a light chuckle, and then it became a louder chuckle until he really did sound like he was insane. He glared at me once more before he reached into his uniform jacket and pulled out a switch blade. No I wasn't mistaken, it was a switch blade. My eyes widened at the site of the knife. Was he really going to kill me? Had he been serious about it before or was he just trying to intimidate me? He just sat there, on top of me, knife in hand and grinning like crazy. He wasn't making any movement. This guy was cruel enough to make me suffer from the torture of just seeing the blade there. Maybe to him, it was more fun to kill me with the look of total terror frozen on my face. I don't know, but whatever it was, he was had me completely under his mercy.  
  
I internally prayed for someone to help me since my mouth was too afraid to open up so I could scream. But it obviously didn't help. I squeezed my eye shut, hoping for him to, if not leave me alone, just get it over with as quickly as possible. I was thinking in panic mode at the moment so only worried about the searing pain about to be inflicted onto my body rather than on dying itself.  
  
I waited for the pain in my gut, in my head, in my chest, anywhere I thought he would strike me first. And waited.....  
  
and waited.....  
  
I peeked out from under my eyelids a bit to see what he was doing. If he really wanted to kill me wouldn't he have done so already? I mean, if I wasn't looking at him than how could he intimidate me? Well, I opened my eyes just enough to hear a  
  
"What the hell?"  
  
"Don't you get in my way!"  
  
Huh?  
  
"Mind your own damn business!"  
  
What?  
  
A small group of people were standing behind him now, one of them holding onto the blade. But wait, how did he get that? He must have grabbed it from the bully while he had his attention focused on me.  
  
The guy held the knife, pointing it straight at the bully's throat as if challenging him. It surprised me to see the look of.....whoa it actually was....fear in the bully's face. The bully didn't move and inch, though I wish he'd get off me because he was really getting heaving, but he stood, uh sat his ground.  
  
"You wouldn't dare!"  
  
"I'd dare as much as you would."  
  
"Then try it."  
  
The guy narrowed his eyes and slightly pressed the point of the blade into the bully's throat, drawing a drop of blood. It was as if the guy was going to do it. Was he really? I couldn't believe it. What is wrong with this town! Everyone's so gutsy and no one was afraid of killing someone. And if the bully died, he'd fall right on top of....me!  
  
I just laid there and stared. What else could I have done? The guy pressed deeper and he bully moved his head back with every passing second until finally he couldn't take it anymore and stood up.  
  
Thank goodness!  
  
I rubbed my stomach and sat up a little, still staring at the scene. The knife had left the bully's throat now but the guy was still glaring at him with that look of warning.  
  
"Alright fine! You win this round, but watch out, I'll be back and your weakling friend there is going to pay for what YOU did."  
  
And with that, the bully turned heel and left.  
  
Wow! He actually left! But wait, there's another scary guy here who might target me, and I know for sure he's not afraid to.....take it 'till the end. I sort of shuffled away from the guy, keeping my eye close on him. If he was going to strike, I would be ready to jump to my feet and bolt it out of there, that is if I'm not to afraid to.  
  
"Hey, dere's nothing ta worry 'bout anymore, da guy's gone."  
  
"Uh...."  
  
"Oh dis?" he looked at the blade and put it in his jacket pocket, "na, dun worry I'm not gonna hurt ya with it."  
  
"Y-you were really g-going t-to....."  
  
"No, course not, what ya think I was, crazy?"  
  
O.o  
  
"N-no, but you really, really looked like you were going to..."  
  
"Na, I was just, ya know, scarin him like dat, he's not so tough when you got da upper hand."  
  
Yes of course I knew that, of course.  
  
He extended his hand and I grabbed it, standing to my feet. He helped me brush off some of the dirt and grass of my clothes and shook my hand.  
  
"Da name's Joey (A/N yes I am using the dub names) and these are my friends Tea, and Tristan. We have another but he's not here right now."  
  
"Uh, hey, I'm-"  
  
A rather loud semi truck just _had_ to drive by at the moment.  
  
"Huh, what was dat? Eh, never mind. But hey, whatcha think ya doing with dat guy? You could've gotten yourself killed. He's a nasty one."  
  
"You mean to say that he was actually going to kill me?"  
  
"Well, not _kill_, kill ya but you'd end up in the hospital in critical condition."  
  
My blood ran cold for that one second when he said that.  
  
"But hey," he patted me playfully on the back, "he's not gonna hurt ya, ya got us ta help ya now."  
  
"Oh....thanks, but why are you helping me?"  
  
"What? Why are we helping ya? Didn't ya get the note?"  
  
"Note?  
  
Oh yeah...............  
  
"Ya know, the one we left on your desk.....that was your desk right?"  
  
"Um, yeah I got it, just hehe forgot is all."  
  
"Well?"  
  
"Well what?"  
  
"Ya wanna hang with us? Dun have to be so shy all da time ya know."  
  
"Well....sure, why not, I'll 'hang' with you guys."  
  
"Awesome, we'll see ya tomorrow den."  
  
"Bye."  
  
And with that, all three of them takes off in the opposite direction. I felt ashamed for taking their invitation so negatively when they, well at least Joey, practically saved my life. But you know what? It's weird; I just can't wipe this smile off my face. Even with all the sores and cuts with blood running from them on my body, I feel pretty good, kind of lie being on a mountaintop.  
  
Just hope they don't ask about the Celtic Guardian card tomorrow.  
  
**End Entry**

**A/N: **Definitions for words were found in: Oxford Dictionary of Current English Third Edition

**Replies:**  
  
**Fushicho Hime:** You have a good point there; Ishizu would have said those things when she was younger. Yes, I know, lots of people change their mind about this hikari mainly because all the chapters seem so inconsistent and all. Glad you like the story, thanks for the review!  
  
**Dark Magician Girl / Hikaru: **Yeah, the lady was pretty pushy, she probably thought that he knew all those words already and wanted to start trouble with the student. She didn't really give him a chance to explain so that's why. Don't worry, he hears you and says thanks. Thanks for the review!  
  
**Da Squeakz:** It's alright if you don't notice the humour parts. The humour is a bit dark and it's somewhat associated to the hikari's personality (at least in this fic). Basically just incorporated in what he says and how he explains things. It makes him seem kind of weird as well. Thanks for the review!  
  
**Saiyan Jedi:** Good to know that you read it before and you like it. Thanks for the review, and read on!  
  
**inuyasha0001:** Thanks for liking this, it took me awhile to update because of school and the other fic but I've gotten it up somehow. Thanks for the review and I'm sure whoever you guess it is is probably right there's not much left to hide in this fic.  
  
**Molly-chan the Anime/Game fan:** Well, let's just day that you brought up some stuff that I didn't really notice until you said so, so maybe you were thinking a bit too hard this time, lol. Yeah, it's hard to tell how much you're supposed to cue in on in this fic but it's not as complicated as you might think. Thanks for the review!  
  
**Amber Eyes:** The treasure I mentioned sounded like a box? Hmmm, well it came in a box but it actually being in the shape of a box is an interesting thought. And yeah, the puzzled is the only one that remotely resembles a box you so have a good point there. Thanks for the review!  
  
**Angel in Disguise8:** Good, you got your comp fixed, now all you need to do is clear out all the stories you need reading in it, including some of mine, lol. Thanks for the review and keep guessing. See ya Sasha! 


	10. Entry Nine

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh.  
  
**A/N:** Wow, this is getting freakishly boring and hard to keep secret. All well, thanks to those who reviewed!  
  
**Entry 9  
**  
"I believe you understand my motive for doing this?"  
  
"Well yeah but I told you already it wasn't me!"  
  
"I did not accuse you; I was merely presenting the facts and evidence."  
  
"Well it seems like all these 'facts and evidence of yours' are just a cheap way of pointing fingers at ME!"  
  
"Is that so? Well perhaps the is guilt speaking to you."  
  
"SEE! You _are_ accusing me!"  
  
"I am doing no such thing."  
  
"URGH!"  
  
Three hours. Three whole hours. Three long, tiring, hours filled with repetitive and useless ramble over the same issue. It's supposed to be called an 'investigation.' I sat there watching the pensive look on the officer's face as he paced the length of the room one way and then the other. I couldn't help but glare at him viciously as he did so, my blood boiled to the brim with his outrageous accusations and the vague circumstantial evidence he used to back them up. "This is guilt speaking to you." "You wouldn't be so nervous if you did not _know_ something." "You look at me as if you have something to hide." I was angry and frustrated out of my mind at his logic, well actually, it wasn't out of my mind since I was hiding it pretty well, deep inside is more accurate. I always learn something wherever I go and my stay at Andersen's was a 300-page textbook all on its own.  
  
Of course I didn't want to show it. Every slight movement of my facial features and shift in tone was detected and used against me. I could see the man's style from the beginning and who couldn't? The ones who always somehow coax others into a false sense of guilt tend to mark an offender quite easily and many times get away with it as well. _An_ offender, not _the_ offender. It's a mystery how many of those are out there. Obviously it's not the best form of ensuring justice for the innocent but hey, a paycheck is a paycheck right?  
  
You know, very similar to the mentality of most teachers, lawyers, bankers, real estate salesmen and Mcdonalds' workers.  
  
Another reason for this fortress restraining my emotions is the rather small yet highly noticeable revolver hanging ominously on the right side of his leather belt. Now although I knew for a fact he wasn't going to threaten or even shoot me, my phobia of weapons hasn't failed to keep that gun in my sight and the fear that somehow, something bad will happen to me involving it, alive. Everyone knows that cops always carried fully, or at least semi-fully loaded guns when out on a round and accidents aren't entirely unheard of. With this guy, it's very unpredictable.  
  
He stopped his pacing and turned to me once again, dark eyes boring into mine, searching for the truth or even better, any sign of guilt. Just something, anything to grab onto and he could take it and run with it. His stare held firmly and I could feel his tension and impatience for the inevitable 'crack' of my shield building up.  
  
"Alright then, if you do not believe that my evidence is real, let's review."  
  
"Fine."  
  
"The victim was found in an open alleyway near your school."  
  
"That's what I heard, yeah."  
  
"First spotted at 4:35, around the time that your school ends."  
  
"I know."  
  
He quickly shot me an indicting look and cocked and eyebrow.  
  
"How do you know?"  
  
I cannot believe this! I should though; I should have seen it coming as well.  
  
"/_sigh/ _You told us about three times already, idiot."  
  
"Don't use that tone with me, I could charge you on the basis of assaulting an officer for that."  
  
"Okay, fine, just keep going."  
  
"You were last seen with him before the.........incident."  
  
"Well that's the only route I can take to get home from school."  
  
"Investigators found these strands of hair," he held up a small ziplock bag, "on the victim's clothes and tests have shown them to match yours perfectly."  
  
"That doesn't mean I _did_ anything to him! He was the one that always got to me!"  
  
"And I do believe that you sport some sort of disliking of this person."  
  
"That's not even evidence!" I sat up straight in my seat and turned to sofu who was sitting on another couch across from me with his arms folded, and brow creased in deep thought, my eyes begging him to believe me, "Sofu, can't you see what I mean? This guy has no idea what he's talking about!"  
  
Sofu unfolded his arms and clasped his hands together, placing his wrinkled chin on them and leaning forward slightly, finally deciding to acknowledge me.  
  
"As much as you believe that, I don't think it's true, he is a police officer and is experienced in these matters."  
  
I opened my mouth to speak but he stopped me.  
  
He looked up at the officer who now had his attention fully turned on him. "But I believe him; he would never do anything of the sort. He's not capable."  
  
I was relieved to see that sofu was with me on this even though his last comment sounded as if I was helpless and unable to do anything drastic when situation called for it. Not that I'd actually do anything serious mind you, but if I really _had_ to with no other choice....I think everyone would if they _had_ to.  
  
The cop gave sofu a grave and dead serious look. "Sir, with all do respect, _anyone_ is capable."  
  
"So you're saying I did it?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Then what the hell are you saying?! Why are you being so vague anyways? It's either you think I did it or you don't think I did it."  
  
He rubbed his bristly chin lightly, eyes fixed on the bag in hand.  
  
"You really think it's that easy don't you? It may seem like we have all the evidence needed now and it may seem as if I'm convicting you but something still escapes us."  
  
For once he actually sounded fair and made some sense.  
  
"What?" Yet he was still annoying me.  
  
"I'm surprise you haven't heard of this. It was how the victim died. Forensic investigators are completely baffled."  
  
"Why? You guys have all this high tech stuff to figure it out, should be easy."  
  
He seemed to ignore my question and began muttering to himself. Brief moment of sanity was just what it was, brief. Or maybe he's just desperate.  
  
"There were no open wounds, no blood, no signs of internal bleeding, couldn't have been a heart attack, choked on nothing, all organs were intact unless........but no. Burns would have been obvious. Even the internal parts of his eyes were fine. Struck by lightning? Definitely not......"  
  
"Um excuse me?"  
  
"......damn it, we've tested for everything, _everything._ All the equipment proved nothing. It's like his brain just ceased to function. But there had to be a reason for _that_ too. This is so screwed."  
  
I glanced at omaasan who was nervously fiddling with a figurine off the side table. She looked like she's about to burst into tears any second now. This is all my fault, but I don't even know what happened. Somehow it does seem like my fault though. Maybe this officer's guilt tactics are taking their toll on me. But I didn't do anything! Geez!  
  
".....maybe I should ask the kid, but wait, how the hell could he have done it? And he won't admit to anything, he's not letting up either."  
  
That I definitely heard. I can't believe this sneaky, idiotic, poor excuse for a police officer is still blaming me without outwardly admitting to it and after I repeatedly told him it wasn't. So the guy just 'ceased to live,' maybe that happened on it's own. Or it was his time or something and, just fell over and died. Nature works in mysterious ways. I don't.  
  
And now we're going into the fourth hour.  
  
The officer was in a world of his own but I managed to snap his attention back to reality by kicking him in the leg as he passed by. He gave me an ugly look but decided to shove the bag back into the box in which it came and turn attention back to the 'investigation.'  
  
"We need to know the cause of death before suspecting anyone."  
  
"What if you don't?"  
  
"Then we work until we do."  
  
"What if you never do?" Hmm, just releasing some anger here, he deserves it.  
  
"We always do."  
  
"What if you never do?"  
  
"That's impossible."  
  
"Is it?"  
  
He stopped and gave me a look that said 'shut up' or something like that before turning to sofu.  
  
"Sir, I'm sorry for the inconvenience, but I need to take your adopted......uh," Guess he didn't now what I was his adopted. ".......with me for questioning, the other police officers need to know as well and it will certainly help provide us with clues."  
  
No! I won't go, he already asked enough here already and he still hasn't gained any new information. He's just wasting our time. Couldn't sofu see that? He and omaasan have been too busy thinking and worrying to see how ridiculous this is. She's just sitting there looking scared out of her mind. If she believed my innocence, then she shouldn't be this anxious about it.  
  
"Alright then, if it helps then I'll let him go with you."  
  
"Bu sofu, I didn't – "  
  
"I know, I believe you but if it's beneficial for this investigation, than you should go."  
  
I was happy to see that sofu believed me but wasn't so much to have to go with this guy. "_It's not and investigation, sofu, it's an 'investigation._' 'Okay.' I whispered.  
  
There was nothing to hide so my as well go with him. I barely reached the doorknob when omaasan jumped out of her seat and pulled me into her arms. She clung onto me tightly, with streams of tears pouring from her eyes and loud sobs erupting from her throat.  
  
"No, you're not taking him anywhere; he didn't do anything, just leave him alone already!"  
  
It was times like these that omaasan seems so mother-like and slightly child-like as well.  
  
"It's alright omaasan; I'll just go and come back right away. It won't take too long."  
  
"No," she croaked and squeezed me even tighter.  
  
"Ma'am, I'm sorry but we really need him down at the station, we are not going to harm him in any way, I promise."  
  
Sofu gently took omaasan's arms in his wrinkled hands and tried to force them to release me but she clung on with an iron-grip, almost squeezing the air out of me.  
  
"It's alright dear," he whispered gently, "The boy will be fine, they are just going to ask him a few questions and that's it."  
  
"But what if they – "  
  
"We know he didn't do anything and we'll be informed of everything later, please just let him got, the officer is waiting."  
  
"No." Omaasan buried her face in my shoulder and rubbed my back reassuringly. She was the one who needed it though, not me. If my arms hadn't been pinned down at my sides, I would have returned the gesture.  
  
"Ma'am please restrain yourself."  
  
"Look, he's waiting, just let him go."  
  
"I won't let them hurt him!"  
  
"They won't, you let him go!"  
  
"I said no!" She all out began to cry at that point.  
  
In a way, I wanted to stay in omaasan's arms where it was safe but I knew it was only a dubious safety derived from fear and sadness. She was even more insecure about this than I was and yet she was trying to protect me. I was better off leaving and coming back. And like mentioned before, I didn't do anything so I had nothing to fear.  
  
"Omaasan, I need to go, he'll get mad if I don't."  
  
"Listen to your elder; you are staying here with me."  
  
"You think I'm guilty don't you?" I didn't mean to become angry, she was just so....stubborn, "Or else why would you keep me here like this?"  
  
Her head shot up and she roughly cupped my cheek with a hand. "Don't ever say that."  
  
"Sofu isn't so freaked about this, why are you?"  
  
"I care so much about you, can't you see that?"  
  
"So does he but he trusts me, I think more than you do."  
  
"You're just a child."  
  
"No, I'm a teen and I know better."  
  
"Not enough, you're staying."  
  
"Don't you think sofu knows best? He believes me."  
  
"I do as well."  
  
"I really do know better, omaasan" my voice dropped to an octave, "C'mon....."  
  
She sighed. The sigh was one of exasperation and who can blame her for being tired, but it was also somewhat of a relenting one. Guessed she finally gave in on that one but I knew she was reluctant and uneasy about the decision. Still, it was a relief for me and I think it was for sofu and the cop as well.  
  
She gave a sad smile, "Okay, go ahead."  
  
"Thanks omaasan."  
  
I could hear the hushed "finally!" from the guy as we left the house. He seemed in a rush to get out of there and his hurried steps bothered me. But I'll see how manipulative he is once we get there.  
  
I always learn something wherever I go, now I can put into practice what I learned at Andersen's.  
  
**End Entry  
**

* * *

**A/N:** Okay so it was weird and didn't make a bit of sense. But you didn't miss anything; this chapter's just making way for the next one. But if you look it closely, it'll make a lot of sense and you'll get what's happened. Oh yeah and I said there wasn't going to be anymore characters added, the cop with just a nobody, so unimportant that I didn't bother giving him a name. Thanks for reading.  
  
**Replies:**  
  
**Fushicho Hime:** Ahah, you really didn't think it was clique or pathetic? I thought it was but I couldn't really think of any other way to hide it. Maybe Joey could've cut him off or something but that isn't really normal for introductions. Joey's pretty scary in that, with the knife and all but he used to be a really mean bully, so. Thanks for the review!  
  
**TCGgirl124:** Meh, the whole thing's like that so when you think it's going somewhere, it just turns weird on you again. Like this chappy for example. It's too bad you burned your hand, minibikes sound fun, lol. Hope you get better and thanks for the review!  
  
**inuyasha0001:** Yeah the semi thing was......ehehe but it's hard to hide his identity without doing something goofy like that. Thanks for the review!  
  
**Sphincter:** Umm, it could be Yugi. It could also be the other two. Who knows. But it's one of them, lol. Thanks for the review!  
  
**Dark Magician Girl / Hikaru:** Yeah it was a little fun, not as much angst in that one. But meant to add in more people. Thanks for the review!  
  
**Saiyan Jedi:** Yeah! I still managed to confuse someone! Hey did you really think I was going to put /rather loud semi truck zooms by/'s name in the fic? I managed to get past the name before but in a more believable way, lol. Thanks for the review!  
  
**Amber Eyes:** Hey thanks, and you're sticking to Yugi too. I think a lot of people, even the really nice ones would say those things when they're really annoyed and angry. I dunno, maybe. Thanks for the review!  
  
**Angel in Disguise8:** Glad to see that you caught up, sorry to confuse you earlier didn't know you were behind a few chappies. Thanks for reading and expect a full mailbox when you get back from camp, jk. Thanks for the review!  
  
**yla/all4him:** Thanks! Um....so do you still think it's Ryou? Other people used to think so but for some reason they abandoned that guess. /thinks/ should mess around more with the chapters more if it's leaning towards only two of them. Thanks for the review! 


	11. Entry Ten

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh.  
  
**Entry 10**  
  
"Stay away from me."  
  
Who would have thought of all the things that could be associated with this thing, this had to happen. I guess it could be described as a supernatural phenomenon but there aren't very many of those out there and most who have claimed to experience them are either, dreaming it, losing it, lost it, trying to get some attention or pathetic lowlifes with boring jobs [1]. I don't fit into any of those categories but the dream one seems very inviting.  
  
"I never want to see you again."  
  
I wonder what would've happened if nature took a different course. That could save a life, or even two lives. Had a fateful little blacksmith been somewhere on the streets of Domino, I would have had the option of smelting it into liquid form, waiting for it to become a semi-solid substance and having it reshaped in various types of jewellery like charms, rings, necklaces, and the sort.  
  
"I'm afraid of you, is that what you wanted to hear."  
  
Then again, the, I guess you could call it "energy," would still be hovering around in it no matter what form it took or how many pieces it was in. I think the real question here is "would I have done it when given the chance?" I'd say "heck yeah!" now but before, probably not. Why would I have taken the risk of carrying the thing with me everywhere, especially with its highly attractive appearance (not to mention value) and care for it so only to wreck it later? Was it because the police would've been on me thinking I stole it? No, it was something else.  
  
"Why do you keep looking at me like that? Say something!"  
  
It started when I laid eyes upon it for the time when it arrived in the mail mysteriously. Whoever sent it gave no return address or anything to identify himself, or herself, by. From then on, I felt responsible for it without even knowing why. It was just an object like anything else I owned (okay so with _huge_ differences) but it was not a brother or sister or cousin or anything worth that much attention. It bothered me sometimes to see it in that sense but the need to protect it was more than that of any person.  
  
"Actually, don't say anything; I've heard enough from you already."  
  
"Is this the gratitude I get?"  
  
"Gratitude? Thanks for what? How could you say that?"  
  
"You don't understand what I did for you."  
  
"I understand perfectly well and it's nothing to be thankful for."  
  
Too bad what I did was for the worst. In vain would've been better. Someone come and take this burden away from so I wouldn't have to suffer more in my life. I finally found peace and contentment, things have finally settled down and I'd like it to stay this way. Those days of sneaking around to stay one step ahead of whom I refer to as the Antagonist or starving in the streets were behind me. Does it have to be one bad thing coming my way after another? Can't I rest for awhile?  
  
"You are stressed."  
  
"Of course I am."  
  
"I did not think you would be this ungrateful."  
  
"Well _think _what you like."  
  
He stands there, arms folder, looking at me with those eyes. Eyes so like mine yet fiercer with a combination of disapproval, sternness, bewilderment, and a bunch of things that make me both want to cringe and scream at him at the same time.  
  
"You think I did you a disservice?"  
  
"First of all, I _know_ you did and second of all I will have to suffer the consequences for it."  
  
"Not anymore."  
  
He's right. I didn't anymore. Something I should be rejoicing about right? No! Just the thought of it makes my insides collapse and my mind whirl with disgust and fear of what happened. I would have much rather face the penalty for something I didn't do than have more guilt piled on me. So much like the bully. How could he stand there and pretend nothing happened?  
  
"I think I'm going to be sick."  
  
He shook his head. Even the hair is similar to mine.  
  
"Why did you do it? Huh? Do you know how wrong it was? Heh, of course not. You don't know."  
  
"What's done is done, if you did not appreciate it than put it behind you." He spat those words out like venom; something I said must have roused his anger.  
  
I could feel myself recoiling in fear at his sharp words. Anger, that's what drove him to do those things and if he was feeling it towards me, who knows if I'll live another day to see the sun. As weak as I felt and looked compared to him, I couldn't let this fear take over my senses. If he knew I was afraid, than he could manipulate me in any way he chose and I'd be helpless to counter him. Must put on a brave face.  
  
"Put it behind me? Oh sure, that's easy enough to do but you'll do it again and I can't stop you because I never know about it until it's too late."  
  
That was true enough. I was so angry at the police officer for accusing me of the bully's mysterious death and was so sure he was wrong that it still feels like a dream now that I've found out the truth.  
  
The corner of his lips turned out slightly, shooting darts of fear into me.  
  
"You should not be angry with me."  
  
"Why not? You killed them!"  
  
"I did not kill them, there is a difference."  
  
I felt myself begin to she shake and covered myself with my blanket to hide it. This conversation would have been easier to swallow had it been daytime, not the dead of the night when his transparent figure looked so much like that of a ghost.  
  
"To me, there is no difference."  
  
"The shadow realm is not a place where souls could find rest, in death they can."  
  
"O-of course y-you wouldn't settle for that."  
  
A place where your soul could never find rest. Than what is it? Some sort of hell? No one has ever really proven what happens to people after they die but the thought of wandering around in this "shadow realm" for all eternity sounds like an unimaginable torture. But wait, how am I so sure this place exists, he may just be lying to scare me into submission.  
  
"There's not such thing, when people die, they die."  
  
He stared at me with those cold, hard eyes again, boring arrows into my skull and making sure I understood that he was dead serious.  
  
"There were no open wounds, no blood, no signs of internal bleeding, neither heart attack, choking incident, failure of internal organs, burns, or even electrocution. Explain, hikari, how did the man die?"  
  
I was mortified. He knew all about it and was leading me into a trap this entire time. The bully showed no signs of injury whatsoever, baffling even the brightest of scientist. He must be right then, this 'shadow realm' was what happened to him. And the cop.  
  
"I-I don't know." I gave in, he was right.  
  
He nodded, "He deserved it, hikari."  
  
That was when my anger flared up again. Deserved it? Deserved it?! What he did to me wasn't _nearly_ half as bad as what happened to him. I practically hated him, yes of course but to say he deserved it was going too far. The cop too, all he did was annoy me and whatnot but he didn't have to die for it. I still see it as dying.  
  
"No." was all I could manage while glaring back at those piercing eyes  
  
"What is that, hikari?"  
  
"I said no! And don't call me hikari, what the hell is that anyways?"  
  
He chuckled, a gentle yet dark laugh that was like ice lacing my bones.  
  
"Is it because you do not understand?"  
  
"Of course I understand, _hikari_ means 'light.'"  
  
"You asked me."  
  
"I asked you what's with this 'hikari' (beep) I have a name."  
  
Funny how anger can sometimes mask fear. He doesn't seem so haunting now that he's playing around with my words and pissing me off. Very annoying actually.  
  
"Have you not figured it out yet, hikari?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"You seem like a rather bright person."  
  
"Whatever, just say it."  
  
"I am your yami and my obligation is to punish those who have done wrong and deserve to wander the depths of the shadow realm. I can punish whomever I choose because I have the shadow powers to do so. You, the hikari, are my vessel and must you carry the Millennium item that holds my spirit."  
  
"What if I chose not to?"  
  
"You have no choice in the matter."  
  
No choice? Now that I've figured out this, this evil.....thing has been living in my treasure the entire time, I can easily discard it anywhere I want. Dump it in the garbage can, give it away, bury it, drop it off in some alleyway and like I've thought of before, smelting it.  
  
"There are so many ways I can get rid of you," I held up the item, "and it begins with this thing right here."  
  
"I doubt you can carry through with your intentions."  
  
"And why not?"  
  
He took a step closer to me, still maintaining that calm figure of his, which made me scoot a bit back on my bed.  
  
"I know your ties towards this item, hikari, and no matter how much hatred you direct towards it, you will have a difficult time finding the heart to dispose of it. If you do, however, break through, it shall find its way back to you."  
  
"Do you expect me to believe that? You've been nothing but a burden to me; I'm willing to get rid of this thing whenever I want to."  
  
"Then try it."  
  
There was no hesitation. I slid open my bedroom window and held the item high, getting ready to hurl it as far as I could. He was right again, it was hard. I strained my arm to release the thing but I just couldn't. I wanted to let go, wanted so badly but the deepest recesses of my mind commanded me not to. It's hard to really explain the feeling. I let my arm with the item drop by my side and slumped down on my bed, defeated. He smirked.  
  
"You never believe me."  
  
"Why should I, you're just some stranger."  
  
"I am your darker side."  
  
"Well that's obvious."  
  
His expression turned pensive for a moment. "The only way you can be rid of this item is if you can find one more deserving than you to carry it."  
  
"Poor person on the street who can pawn it for money." "I'm afraid it is not that simple, hikari."  
  
Of course, nothing's ever that simple, especially not with me.  
  
"Your chances are rather slim."  
  
"Than why did you bother telling me?"  
  
"If that is not a service to you, than what is?"  
  
"You leaving me forever would be a great service."  
  
Yeah, like that's going to happen.  
  
He chuckled, "In time, hikari, you will see."  
  
"See what?"  
  
"What I've done was meant to be and you will learn to appreciate it."  
  
I felt defeated, so defeated. I was also wiry from our volley of opinions. Obviously he's here to stay and I can't do anything about it but watch and carry his consequences. He's nothing but an extra load for me to bear just when I thought I was finally spared from all my troubles.  
  
I sighed, "At least tell me why you're here now and not before or, preferably, much later."  
  
"You are finally settled and content with your life, is that not what the note meant?"  
  
Oh yeah, the note. Maybe I should have burned the thing. Did he say I was finally content and that's why he's here? Figures, I should have known. I glanced at the digital clock, 2:00 AM. No wonder I'm so tired.  
  
"Just do me a favour, retreat back into the item and let me rest."  
  
He transparent figure faded away into nothing, again like a ghost, and the item seemed to glow for a split second. I breathed a sigh of relief and curled up in bed, for some reason foetal position. I couldn't sleep no matter how tired I was and just stared at the far wall for the rest of the night.  
  
Afterall, he'd be back tomorrow.  
  
**End Entry  
**

* * *

**[1]** "Pathetic lowlifes with boring jobs." Does anyone recognise that quote? Lisa from The Simpsons (which I also do not own) quoted it when Homer claimed to have seen an alien after drinking ten beers, lol classic.  
  
**A/N:** Geez, after 11 chapters. Well at least it's done. Quite enjoyed writing this chapter actually, especially when I've been struggling so much with the other story. Hope it was elusive enough for people. Please read and review!  
  
**Replies:  
**  
**Fushicho Hime:** No, I'm not that smart but thanks very much for the compliment, I haven't paid that much detail to the context of this until you brought it up. I don't think any of the others commented on the style before. I guess it's just a matter of filtering out what I can and can't write when it comes to giving out too much detail. For me it's actually much easier than writing in the traditional way: third person and having a real storyline. Thanks for the review!  
  
**verdragon:** You want to be fooled, that's different. Most of the others really want to know if they're right or no, lol. But thanks hope I can fool you . Thanks for the review!  
  
**inuyasha001:** That last one was confusing but this one isn't too clear either. It was to be expected anyways, none of the chapters have been clear. I hope you liked it. Thanks for the review!  
  
**Amber Eyes:** Your reasons are really good, I haven't thought of them. About the conversation I guess the name will have to be brought up once in a while /thinks: I should find cover-ups for those now/ but between the yami and hikari, doesn't have to. Thanks for the review!  
  
**Angel in Disguise8:** /Claps/ yeah, you were the first to comment on what happened even though it didn't seem like it was too tough for you. His family did care for him very much; they each just showed it in a different way is all. Now can you guess who they are? Thanks for the review faithful inusasha.  
  
**Dark Magician Girl / Hikaru:** Glad this was radiating his feelings; it was sort of difficult to do it though. Yup, any of them could get mad like that and well, just blow off some steam. Thanks for the review!  
  
**Saiyan Jedi:** Nope, I never mentioned what sofu and omaasan meant and......I'll just leave it at that. Cookies for you! Hit the nail on the head. That was exactly what happened even though I can't say whether it was Yugi or not. Good to know that there were no obvious clues in that one. Thanks for the review and adding me to your favourites list!  
  
**RowenaRaven:** Thanks for liking this, and yeah this person does go through a lot of thinking doesn't he? Well it's a diary, I'd like to think of it as more of a journal since this is a guy, and so people write down how they feel. Thanks for the review!


	12. Entry Eleven

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! Nada.

**A/N**: Gomen about the long update, I sort of lost my train-of-thought after the last chapter. For those who don't know, Yami Yugi was pretty much as psychotic as the other yamis, maybe even more so, in Season 0 (a.k.a. the undubbed-because-of-violence first season). Please read and review !

**Entry 11**

Mystical butterflies dancing

White walls dripping with luminescent colours, flowing, oozing, falling warm and friendly colours. Happy colours, smiling colours, inviting colours drawing in the senses, whirling the mind. Pleasurable nostalgic memories sooth the soul and caress the uneasy psyche in steady waves of motion. Mindless joy swirl, surround, embrace the body breathing warmth, life and love into the heart.

Saccharine, tender scents of blooming flowers tickle delicately at the nose. Sweet like the first drop of honey from the pot and sound like a tiny, slumbering infant. Sneeze once, twice and giggle softly. Dancing and soaring in brilliant patterns, they encourage the innocent gesture. Such a tease. Anything to satisfy such dainty little things. No allergies here, just a greeting in their secret language.

An invitation

So lift and let lifted. All invisible restraints and bonds to unspoken laws fade away, overpowered by that of the foreign element. Twist, turn, breathe and slowly adjust to the frothiness before leaving behind all logic and taking flight. So hallow, like a hot-air balloon and untouchable like the misty clouds in the sky. Take in a fresh and pure breath of air and follow the leader past the limitations of this pallid prison and across the threshold into the welcoming arms of freedom. Beyond secluding walls, the fields stretch further than the eyes and even further. Trees, green with never ending life tower high up into the heavens. Birds radiating liberty and might ignite passion through streaks in the sky. This is their world.

Gently caress the peaceful creatures with a loving touch and watch their kisses reply. They are so familiar with this utopia. A land of fairy-tales. Wispy words like stray strands of hair. _Elysian. _They are a part of this place. The secretive home of the dainty, mystical ones. The name graces their lips like a butterfly kiss. _Elysian. _A heart. A home. A life. An eternity.

Soulful creatures of light graze serenely in the pastures unafraid and unbound by fear and uncertainty, no shields or defences to veil their fragile splendour. Bursts of life spring out in the form of snow-white wings ready to embrace the limitless sky. Gold, silver, and periwinkle adorn and highlight fine features on these canvases of artwork. So alien to the known world of physics and law but naturally occurring and existing in this place free of the curse of 'reality.' The known here is unknown. The unknown does not exist. Existence is the essence of a dream. Existence is merely a dream?

Dreams can be tested and pushed to their limits. Push and heaved far across the line back into the realm of reality where dreams are proven to be nothing more than illusions, figments of minds seeking for an escape. Where does the line stand? Which side is the true reality? One point of view sees black while the other insists on white. Give a pinch and feel the stinging pain of reality pulling away the world of illusions. Watch the creatures frown and cry out in discomfort along with the uninvited pain of the flesh. They run, scream, hide from the unpleasant gesture and seek to remove the source.

Rejected

Like a poor host they hurry to be rid what displeases them. Forced to leave in peace and never return. The calming gentle atmosphere suddenly becomes unbearable, it chokes, and strangles, grasps and pushes. The hollowness slowly fills, warm air turning cold and adding on weight. More and more weight. The sensation of being airborne slowly dissipates, leaving gravity to take its place. More weight. Freezing cold air lacing every bone, gnawing at the flesh. Falling, falling. Nothing but falling.

Fear grips with an unrelenting hold as the dissention quickens. Falling out of the unknown world, through the puffs of soft, delicate clouds and through the roof back onto the bed. The white bed. The white_ hospital _bed. The room is slowly spinning, a blur of pure white surroundings. Nothing but quietness as the room slows to a stop. To the right of the bed is tube leading up to a monitoring machine.

Then it hit me.

I'm on morphine.

And a heavy dose at that.

How did I know? Well when most people come out of dreams where they are falling, they end up eyes wide open, drenched in a cold sweat and slightly freaked out of their minds. Sometimes finding themselves on the floor, or screaming. I'm just....smiling. And smiling still despite the fact that I have no idea why I'm lying helplessly on a hospital bed, all alone and unable to move.

Hehe, the flower pot by my window is very pretty.

I should feel blessed. Although my neck is in a brace and my right leg is in a cast that's suspended from the ceiling, my arms seem to be fine. There is a lot one can you with his hands. Write, eat, flip pages of a books, draw, paint, sew, cook, change the channel, type, lift things, play finger fillet, and so on and so and so on. Without hands, life itself would seem to be more difficult. I love my hands.

Also, my treasure is with me. Hehe, I guess after having it for so long, it sort of grew on me so, well, I started taking it with me everywhere. School, the park, the arcade, the mall, everywhere! Sure people on the streets sometimes gave me strange looks but maybe it's because they think it looks nice. I don't know what I'd do without my precious treasure. It's just so...... great!

Come to think of it, everything here is great! The room feels so safe and warm, and I bed is so comfortable, and I have this nice perky, blissful feeling inside I can't explain, what's there to be gloomy about? Hmm, where did all the colours from my dream go? They were dripping from the walls a minute ago. All well, I like white, it's a very nice...... colour?

"Hello there! So, how are we doing?"

"Oh hi!"

A woman with a nametag that says "Yuki" clipped on her front pocket walks in holding a clipboard and wearing a big, bright smile on her face. It just makes you smile sometimes to see a happy person, not that I'm not smiling already.

"My name is Yuki Tadashi and I'll be your nurse for the next couple of days," she shakes my hand, "How are you feeling dear?"

"Good!" there's that smile again

"Does it hurt anywhere, darling?"

"Not really."

"Alright then," her smile disappears a little, "Do you remember what happened?"

"Remember?" come to think of it, I guess I don't. I just woke up and was.... here.

She scribbled something on the clipboard, "Do you remember where you are, your name, age, address, the name of your school?"

"Yeah of course," what a silly question, I know my name, it's –

"What's the last thing you remember?" hmm, I wonder how she can talk and write so much at the same time

"I, uh, let me see, well I was picking up some groceries for omaasan and then, and then, uh, I woke up here?" well that didn't make much sense now did it. Maybe I should be afraid? "Sorry, I don't really know."

"That's perfectly alright, there's nothing to be afraid of, alright?" she places a hand on my shoulder, "Everything will be just fine, you'll just have to stay a few days for examination and then you're free to go. There is nothing to be afraid of, that machine over there," she gestured to the monitor, "Is just filtering some serum into your body and monitoring your vitals."

"I'm not really that scared and I know what that machine does– "

"You're very brave to be here all by yourself like this," she ruffled my hair a bit, which I didn't like very much, "Don't worry, your parents, ah er, guardians will be here soon alright?" she chirped, I nodded, "That's a good boy."

"Ah huh," she's starting to irritate me

"You know, I have a boy about your age, maybe he can come here an keep you company some time."

"That'd be.... nice, thanks."

I think the morphine is starting to wear off.

"Alrighty then, guess you must be pretty hungry by now, I'll just get you something to eat, is that okay?" she's looking at me and smiling as if I'm some sort of five-year-old,

"Sure, thank you." I'm famished and I didn't even realise it, wonder how long it's been since I've eaten.

Before I knew it, she saunters off with slight hints of a bounce in her step. Are nurses allowed to be 'on' things during their shifts or is she naturally like that? Maybe she'd grown addicted to morphine and abuses the stuff like others do with drugs and alcohol. I mean if the people who work in ice cream parlours are allowed to test (and by test I mean gorge themselves) the products, maybe it works the same way here in hospitals as well.

Man, she uses the word 'alright' way too many times.

That's just not normal.

She's too overly-happy to be a nurse.

Ack, how did I get here?

Why does everything ache so much?

I feel so... lonely all of a sudden.

My head hurts; maybe a need another dose of that fairy drug.

_/I refuse to let you have anymore of that, that...... poison, hikari/_

"_You're here? How long have you been here?"_

_/I'm always aware of what's happening to you, which is why I....../_

"_What?"_

_/Uh, ahem...that 'morphine' as you referred to it made you act strangely/_ he said rather matter-of-factly, I think he even folded his arms as he said that

"_It's supposed to do that."_

_/Who would inject such an unseemly product into another's body?/_

"_It's supposed to be a good thing." _Even I'm starting to doubt that.

My yami, which is now what I regularity refer to him as, scoffed _/I doubt it/_

_"Well how would you know how it works, you're from a time when no one's even heard of the toilet!"_

I think he was glaring at me at that point.

_/So what does this liquid do?/ _He gave in

"_It makes you forget about you pain and worries, especially when you wake up and suddenly realise you're in the hospital with a cast on your leg and a brace on your neck without knowing how they got there or how you got here. How about dealing with an annoying nurse who worried more about what this machine does and calling me 'darling' than telling me what the hell happened. Even you seem like you're hiding something." _I was venting and it felt good

_/Hikari........./_

"_WHAT?"_

_/You honesty forgot what happened?/ _he asked more gently now, strange.

"_Yes! I've been repeating that several times now, I thought you were supposed to know **everything **that happens to me, which by the way is really creepy."_

"_Oh no, don't tell me you had something to do with this," _I held my head, trying to settle an impending headache, _"Please don't tell me you killed someone else, anything but that."_

_/No.../_

"_No, but you sent him to the 'shadow realm' right? And it is technically different because their souls get, blah, blah, blah and blah, blah, blah eternity of wandering forever."_

He chuckled

"_What's so funny?"_

_/And I quote, "Their souls get blah, blah, blah and blah, blah, blah/_

"_Grr.." _I really wasn't in the mood for this.

"Oh my poor, sweet, innocent darling! This was all my fault, I am soooo sorry!"

Before I could snap out of my mental conversation, a frightened, teary-eyed omaasan came rushing through the door, immediately enveloping me in a tight embrace and showering kisses on my head. Sofu followed slowly behind her, worry evident in his aged countenance.

"I'm okay, omaasan, you don't have to worry about me." I wrapped my arms around her and gently caressed her back. Maybe it's because of her gentleness or something, but it's so hard to get angry omaasan.

"Are you sure?" she asked, looking at me sadly

"Yeah, I'm fine." I leaned down and kissed her lightly on the cheek, whipping a way a stray tear.

"I was so afraid of losing you when I heard the news," she buried her head in my chest, once again beginning to sob.

"What news?" I was dying to know and no one would tell me

"They said, they said you were – "She immediately stopped when a wrinkly hand was placed on her shoulder, Sofu shook his head, "Remember what the doctor said, wait until he is released."

Omaasan stood up and nodded, wiping away a tear from the corner of her eye. I was so close, so close and still nothing. How bad could it possibly be that they couldn't tell me while I'm _in_ the hospital and I had to wait to get _out_ of the hospital to find out? And what did she mean by being so afraid of losing me?

"So," Sofu interrupted, "I heard that you are free to go in a few days."

"Yeah." no use in arguing with him, I guess.

Omaasan, who was grabbing a new tissue every few seconds was still having trouble calming down. Sofu glanced at her uneasily but tried to ignore it.

"We brought you a gameboy," he handed me the navy blue device, "Hopefully that'll help pass the time."

"Thank you." I felt so depressed, and they didn't even care. At least it looked that way.

"We should go now, let the boy rest for awhile, he needs it." Sofu took her by the arm and led her slowly towards the door, "I'm glad to see you are well, don't worry we will return tomorrow." Omaasan reluctantly followed him, sniffling all the way out.

Why do I get the feeling they're avoiding me.

_/I suggest you do what he says/_

"_Was it that bad?"_

_/No....../_

"_I mean compared to what I'm used to, not what you're used to."_

"_You did have a hand in this didn't you?"_

_/I....../_

"_And it's not about the shadow realm thing because you wouldn't be so illusive if it was."_

_/Just rest, you're hurt/_

"_So what did you do?"_

Silence

Hmm........

**End Entry**

* * *

****

**Replies:**

**Dark Magician Girl / Hikaru: **Yup, the yami's here now but it's going to be even harder for me to keep this secretive because all three yamis have such different personalities. I might have to mess it up a bit and make him a tad out of character. Thanks for the review!

**Fushicho Hime: **Hehe, I like writing this way, it's pretty easy actually. The only hard part is getting inside another person's head and writing down his thoughts. And that's what this basically is, writing down a person's thoughts. Much like a......... diary. Thanks for the review!

**Shiguaaxxa: **Thanks, glad you like this. You have very good points there and telling from what's already happened, yeah this is slightly AU. I'm interested to see who you guess it is. Thanks for the review!

**Insane Penguin: **Lol, glad to see people are devoting so much time to this, I mean half an hour?! You're right, Yami Yugi really does care about his hikari but he was as nuts as the other two in the first season. Thanks for the review, keep guessing!

**Saiyan Jedi: **You know when I wrote that part, I didn't intend for the yami to be all that mean, I don't know why people took it that way. Guess he wasn't exactly sugary nice but mean? Hmm. I think you'd understand why I didn't mention whether or not the hikari pieced together his item or not. Your theories for this story are usually right, so what happened here? Thanks for the review!

**Iteria: **Your reasoning is very thorough; I'm surprised and delighted that anyone would put that much thought into this. Okay, I could on, and on, pointing out why it can or can't be any one of the three hikaris but I'll keep it short. A) This is slightly AU B) he's been through a lot of tough times so his personality will be slightly different from the hikrais as you know them C) The place I picked to be where he's originally from isn't according to the anime. Thanks for the review!

**Amber Eyes: **Thank you for the suggestion. I like you guesses, they really made sense. Lol, you were the only one who thought the yami was humane, everyone else thought he was mean. I think that last chapter sent out mixed messages. Thanks for the review!

**Ecea: **Don't worry, lots of other people are confused as well. But I'm glad you're taking a shot at it. Thankd for the review!

**xRhonwynX: **-Hugs you- thanks for liking so much of my stuff! I always thought my writing sucked compared to what other people can do. Glad you took the time to read this. Thanks for the review!


	13. Entry Twelve

Disclaimer: That's right, I don't.

**A/N: **I'm taking a risk in this chapter since I don't think I've done enough of that (hikari: hahahahah), I'm going to ignore that..... Oh yes, and **this chapter is going by the assumption that all the hikaris, at one point or another, can have a civilized conversation** **with their yamis**. Anyways please read, review and hopefully enjoy and thank you for your patience.

Warning: May slightly twist the mind.

**Entry 12**

Façade

That's all it was, had been and perhaps always will be. A façade.

But what had he accomplished in wasting so much energy sustaining such a barrier when he knew it'll only last for so long? Someone will always get past. Somehow they see through it, almost like remote viewing, and it's always the person you'll least expect. Yes his very own hikari, the one he's furthest from found a crevice hidden far off in the corner of the fortress and squeezed through. Detect the irony yet?

So why'd he do it?

The real question should be 'why would I do it?' Yes I can empathize. Maybe it's because we're supposed to be a part of each other, or something of the sort. I'm beginning to understand this concept but it can still be a tad iffy at times, sort of like the notion of significant figures. Strange how I can identify with many of the things he's experiencing even if I may never have gone through them myself. Many things. Too many. And to think we're opposites. What else is behind this veil of darkness?

Then again, I'm also a hypocrite.

Oh sure I can question, question, question all I want. I can loath even, but that doesn't mean a thing. Not a thing. I've sat and stared out to a world of nothingness and wondered where I belong as well. I've discreetly let my emotions run wild when I thought no one was looking. And yeah I've harboured a disliking of one person or another during some point on my life. Don't we all? You know.... as human beings? Gosh to think of my yami once existing as a human being (and still, in a sense, is) is quite mind-boggling, but I'm just accepting the facts. It is as true today as it ever was.

Sure, he's referred to as 'The Darkness,' but exactly what is darkness anyways? Something that scares little children so much, they are afraid to go to take a wiz alone at night? A state or side of the earth is suspended in when the sun 'sets;' due to planetary rotation? Or perhaps to the believers, an existence without God. Being 'without light' is way too simple an explanation. To understand what 'darkness' is you'd have to consult a yogi or if that's too easy, climb up on a mountain peak and seek enlightenment for yourself.

Darkness is just...... black.

Just black?

Really now, interesting.

So, then my yami is what? A black blob? That's what darkness is, isn't it? Basically if you're not into that whole Zen and incense stuff that's where you'd draw the line of what you think darkness is. Darkness is not a state of being. So my yami is dead, or is it alive? Un-dead? Semi-alive? An aura of some sort? Darkness is a state without light. So, if I stand right beside my yami, he'd vaporize like some sort of Halloween special vampire?

Darkness appears when the sun has set. Than why is it that I can still see him (quite vividly) in broad daylight, appearing whenever he wished and often almost startling me into a heart attack?

And to think my yami made it seem so simple. Yami darkness, hikari light. Dark and light are super-glued together eternally, no questions asked. He must have realise I'm not quite so dense anymore, since he's no longer trying to hammer that idea into my head. Or maybe I've refused to acknowledge the matter one too many times and he's decided to give up and let me think what I want to think. Maybe even figure it out for myself. Smart yami. The truth is the truth no matter how much I try to manoeuvre around it or attempt to mold it into my perception of reality.

Reality

What a laugh. That sense of level-headedness had left me long ago; lost in dreams so vivid I could touch what is untouchable, see into the cosmos and live a life of fairy tales and mythology. _Elysian._ Was that really just the morphine whispering into my ears? I wonder if he goes through the same thing. If he is indeed just 'darkness,' than obviously not. How can a patch of black think for him (it's?) self? It can't.

The time I saw my yami thinking to himself, must have just been a dream.

What else could it have been? I'm torn between two worlds, neither one being imaginary or reality. Or if either is, I couldn't distinguish between the differences. I've just allowed myself to be taken from one side of the border to the other. At any given time or place. _Morphine. _

No yami wasn't just darkness period. Yami was darkness something else something else something else. 'Yami,' the word in itself, merely describes the simplicity of his state of being, that being the other half of me, the light. As for everything else, the word 'yami' means nothing. Just something that'll confuse a person into thinking he's a dark abyss leading to nowhere but oblivion. In a sense that may be true, the ones he's sent to the shadow realm or world or whatever are doomed to be suspended in limbo but that doesn't mean he is nothing but a black hole. No one deserves to be labelled that way, not even my yami. _Not even my yami_. This attachment is freakishly disturbing. But since I'm beginning to admit to things I've long since wanted to push away, yeah I'm attached to him. And I won't bother explaining in what way since it's been repeated so many times, the word itself has lost all meaning. Sometimes I feel this attachment through the 'mind-link' but most of the time; it's more of a faint feeling. Somewhat similar to the kind of bond twins have with each other but, like everything else about me, much more complicated.

I admit I don't necessarily like it most of the time. My thoughts are my own. They are private. Private meaning not desired for anyone else to know. But that's completely unavoidable when he's literally my other half. Other half. That phase is still so weird after all this time. I mean 'other half' is the term lovey dovey couples use for each other. And we are definitely far from that. One thing that eases my mind is knowing he doesn't want his thoughts accessible to me either. Scrap the literal term 'yami'. He thinks, therefore he's not just a blob of darkness. Anyways, my yami does think and that's what makes this whole thing as complicated as it is. Come to think about it, if _hikari_ (me) is this multidimensional, than _yami_ must be something like that at well. In that yin and yang symbol, aren't the two halves the same size?

I found him thinking to himself.

He mustn't have wanted anyone, especially me, to know since he hid himself in the most private place I could think of. His soul room. See what I mean by the differences between what's imaginary and what's real? I guess it could be described as a world within a world. A place full of strange rooms filled with emptiness and corridors that led to nowhere. My own soul room was mixed up within this bunch and it took me awhile to find it, but my curiosity actually paid off that time.

He'd mentioned these 'soul rooms' before but I waved it off as I did everything he told me up to that point. It was very difficult to believe there were rooms and stuff _inside_ my treasure and to think it went on forever was just....impossible. I didn't even bother to think about the meaning of the word. Gibberish, all of it. That is, until I found my soul room, once again proving he was right and I was wrong.

This 'soul room,' my soul room was something I realised I could only understand when I've been in it for myself. Even if I'd accepted the explanation, I still wouldn't have _understood_ what it was. My soul room was a place where I felt as sense of belonging. It was a part of me, designed for me and meant only to accommodate me. A piece of my own soul, so to speak. But it was more than that. Such things that could never be explained and understood only experienced and understood. And that was where I found him, in his soul room. His own domain.

It was no surprise that his soul room looked very different from mine. For once thing, a beautiful cream-coloured Persian guarded the entrance. It was harmless enough, no one would have known that it was guarding the room; merely hanging around it was more like it. Cats. Well, he _was_ very close to his Egyptian heritage. The feline must have thought I was him, so it freely stepped aside when I approached the door. I didn't know now or even then why I did it, all I knew was that I wanted to go in. Must have been that 'connection' we had.

I didn't hear me enter. That was what I thought when I first creaked open the heavy door and slipped inside. The first thing I noted was the unusual patches of shadows splayed everywhere around the room. It was almost like a funhouse, obscured and devoid of any spatial logic. Like one of those rooms you think are on a slat but really aren't. Except this one just had shadows hovering where there shouldn't have been any. Come to think about it, there wasn't even a light source in the room. At least I didn't _see_ any.

Stranger yet was the window centred in the far wall. More of a square hole, really. It must have been how ancient windows were modeled since glass wasn't in existence back then. It really _was_ his soul room. From where I stood, the window lead to nothing but blackness, as if a think layer of dark paint coated the area leading outside the window. He must have seen something different though because he was perched on the ledge, appearing to be hypnotized by the nothingness beyond the room.

All shields were down. That was the first thing that hit me when I saw him there. Not only did I see it with my eyes but felt it within my mind and the core of my body as well. There was a difference in the way he carried himself, he wasn't quite so...rigid, no longer so hard and stone-like. The aura around him was calming, but not quite in the warm and serene sense. It was more of a submissive, almost dead kind of calm. Not something I was afraid of, mind you; it was not the type of calmness one would be too trilled to embrace. But it was a calmness and that in itself was a rare thing to see in him.

Even his expression reflected upon it. The shape edges of his features dulled down a bit, even appeared softer and more understanding. Almost melancholy. He had one arm resting loosely on a bent knee and the other laying lazily on his lap. An unusually relaxing position for one who always appeared on guard and alert.

I decided not disturb him, instead hiding myself in one of the shadows just to observe from afar. No, I wasn't snooping, I was.... being observant. And what I'd already seen provoked me to stay and find out more. What was my yami really like? Why hadn't I seen him like this before? Why did he need to hide this side of him from me? How often had he stolen away into this private room and gazed out at the nothingness? Why was I so curious in the first place? All those questions would be answered, I assumed, if I just stayed a little longer.

"Hikari."

But of course things weren't that easy. He was much more in tuned with his surroundings than I gave him credit for. This _was_ his soul room after all.

"Yeah?" I slowly got out of my hiding spot but didn't make any sign of getting any closer to him.

"I want you to look at this." He pointed out into the blackness he had been so intently focused.

"All I see is darkness from here." I noted.

"Come here." He stated, a little more harshly this time.

I stepped toward the window and peered outside, or at least what 'outside' would have been. Still nothing but darkness.

"Sorry, I still don't see anything."

"You're correct, there's nothing out there but darkness."

That was beginning to irritate me, as most of our serious conversations had made me. He had the tendency to weave around things rather than tell them out straight.

He sat quietly for awhile, drifting back into that reminiscing state of his. Somehow my last statement felt wrong. It made me feel ignorant around him and it looked as if he was almost hurt by my stupidity. He'd expected it though; he knew what I was like long before I knew what he was like.

"Have you been out there before?" he finally broke the uncomfortable silence.

"No. And.....I don't' really want to go out there." I was beginning to wonder what he had been implying by asking that.

"What do you think it's like out there hikari?" Surprising that his tone hadn't changed that entire time.

Hmm, I'd never really thought about that before. And when I it came to mind, I really want to think about it. Thinking about it meant that someday that darkness would happen to me. "I don't know, maybe very scary or... lonely?"

"Really? How scared, how lonely?"

"I guess enough to drive a person insane if he doesn't get out of there in time."

"How long would that be?"

"I guess about a couple of days or so."

"Only days?" he finally tore his gaze away from the darkness and onto me. His uncharacteristically calm face actually scared me a little.

"W-well yeah I mean it's dark, lonely, silence, possibly cold. How could anyone survive that for very long without losing his mind?"

"True."

He studied me for awhile. Somehow he seemed so much wiser than before. Maybe it was the effect this soul room had on him. Or maybe thinking that intensely sparked some sort of change. The closeness was very unnerving.

"You've healed already?"

"Well, I went to my soul room to get better. For some reason I heal faster there than I do in....real life, I noticed that from that huge cut I got the other day from cutting vegetables. Uh, um......thanks." The last part came out much quieter.

"For what?"

"I would have bled to death."

"Than I would have as well."

"Still," I tried to relax a bit, "I don't know why but I found that kind of thrilling. I mean it was dangerous, yeah but how many people have been victims of convenience store robberies and lived to tell about it?" For a second there he looked startled, then his expression changed to "that hit to your head must have been hard."

"You....."

"Oh come on yami, you've seen much worst than _that_. What about those stories you told me about the wars and massacres and stuff."

He continued staring at me and again felt the irritation rise. Fortunately, he turned back to the window and resumed where he left off.

"How about five thousand years?"

"Of what?"

He pointed outside the window, "Of wandering out there, in the darkness."

I felt my stomach clench up without really knowing why, had he really..."I'd die."

"A soul cannot 'die.'"

"I'd go insane." I replied bluntly.

"Either that or become one with the darkness."

"What?"

"Do you think I'm insane?"

I felt a bit of his sadness seep into my own emotions and I couldn't help but feel sorry for him at that moment, "You were out there, in the dark, all those years weren't you?"

"Does that justify what you think of me?"

"I don't know. You seem to change so often."

"Do you think I'm insane then?"

I lowered my head; the coldness of that conversation was chilling my bones, "If that is what you are, then yes. If not, I don't know."

"Anyone would lose his mind alone out there within days."

"I would."

Silence

"I knew you were intending to come here so told Seueth to stand aside."

"The cat? Why?"

"I wanted to know this from your perspective."

"Well, now that I know, I'm not sure I want to know. And I don't think I want to find out any more."

"The atmosphere in here must be taking its toll on you." He noted. I guess his pattern of speech was something to get used to. He changed the subject so abruptly, maybe because he wanted to hide something from me.

He was right; the air in the place was thicker than mine, and musty like an old tomb. "Can I leave?" I didn't mean for that to sound rude, it was just too, uncomfortable facing him this way.

"Go ahead, Seueth will let you out."

The cat was there again. This time on the inside of the door selecting who could exit, rather than enter. He gracefully leaped aside with a pounce and I waked out. Something troubled my mind as I headed for my own soul room. It was almost like what he said opened my mind to things that have never crossed my mind before. Thoughts that were almost revaluating. Was he insane? Or were all those years of wandering and thinking forced some sort of enlightenment. Maybe both? Nether?

Darkness needs a new meaning.

**End Entry**

* * *

**Replies:**

**TCGgirl124: **Yeah I did mention the character's hair in the last chapter but all I really said was that he didn't like the nurse ruffling it, so yeah. You're right, this story is going to end as soon as I reveal who the hikari is and I already know how I'm going to do that so it won't be an accidental thing or anything like that. I'm hoping for this story to be approximately 20 chapters give or take a chapter or so because I'd like to include a bit more characterization before it ends. Thanks for the review!

**Sphincter: **Hmm.... There are lots of stories out there about Yami taking over Yugi's life and then Yugi get depressed and hurting himself so I'm not quite sure which story you're referring to. Sorry I can't help you there. Pretty common storyline when you think about it. Well anyways, thanks for the review!

**Dark Magician Girl / Hikaru: **Yeah, hehe, well it was sort of mysterious wasn't it. Sorry about the long update. No ideas. /Thinks/ is _interesting _your favourite word or something? Lol, you seem to use it a lot. Thanks for the review!

**Laptop: **Thanks for liking this and from the review!

**Fushicho Hime: **/Grins/ Yay, someone noticed! Yup Elysian is the world of dreams and a place that exists in the after life. Honestly, I am not entirely sure what it is because it wasn't the actual Elysian but a reference from Sailor Moon. I don know that Tartarus is is a place of torture and torment for evil souls or something like that. Hehe, pathetic but I liked it. Thanks for the review!

**Angel in Disguise8: **Darling, congratulations! You finally managed to clear your mailbox of all the garbage I sent you, lol. And to think you went through all that pain and suffering just for me, see that's why I dedicated "Little White Envy" to you. Duh! Well, glad you like them. Ah intriguing, that's a new one. I've seen many different words used to describe this but intriguing, /smiles/ thanks for the review!

**Amber Eyes23: **Interesting that you should mention that. This may have come up in the manga but I'm not sure since I've never read it but I don't think it's in the anime. When you think about it, when has any of the yamis ever injured someone without a reason? They've always done it for a reason whether that reason is power, greed, or defence. I might be wrong but I think people get that impression because so many fanfics have them. Thanks for the review!

**padfootgirl126: **Thanks for the liking this, and the review!

**Mako-Magic: **Yeah Yami was a psycho in the beginning too. That makes all of them I guess. I included that little snippet in the beginning I wasn't sure if some people knew he was that way or not. Meh, I only recently found that out myself. Thanks for the review!

**Saiyan Jedi: **Lol, morphine, I found that funny as well. To be honest, I got the word "omaasan" from other fanfics and according to them it has a meaning. I'm surprised that its not a word because many other authors seem to be unanimous about it's meaning. I would have used the definition from my dictionary but it was just too weird. Thanks for the review!

**Insane Penguin: **Hehe, that's what the story's designed to do, mess with people's minds. Thanks for the review!

**Karlabob: **I like you reasoning, can't believe you read this so quickly. Remember, all the details count. Thanks for the review!


	14. Entry Thirteen

Disclaimer: Last time, it doesn't help much anyways.

**Entry 13**

The entrance must to have been sealed because it hasn't opened for days now. Strange. There probably isn't a lock on a door so ancient, at least not the last time I checked, and I can't imagine how he'd seal it if he could. _What's going on? Why haven't you come out?_

I guess it started a few days ago, six to be exact. We've never fought (now that I've redefined "fought" for us I'm not so sure what it means anymore) and things seem to have been fine (as fine as it could be....I suppose) with him, so why would he suddenly disappear on me? No pun intended.

Stranger yet, why am I even worried (no wait, not worried, um..... anxious, no wait concerned, nervous, okay fine, worried) in the first place? Not long ago, and I think still even now, I dreaded every second with him knowing at any given moment I could black out and wake up to find I've mass murdered an office building's worth of innocent people. Even waking up each day was a pain in the backside.

Of course, everything ties in with each other in one way or another so this whole _concerned_ thing is just another point of his proven to be blatantly true. Yami, hikari, dark and light, two halves of a whole, connected through mind.... Yady-yady-yada.... connected souls, minds, spirits .....blah, blah, blah ....... magic this, shadow that. My, he's done quite a good job at embossing all that stuff into my head. So well, in fact, I could recite it like a monologue in my sleep.

And no, I'm not bothering to deny it anymore because it makes it all the more humiliating every time he points out the fact that I'm wrong. And every time I _do_ try to defend my case, I know from the start that I am wrong. All well, everyone has their pride, it's too bad that not only does he have too much of it, but also facts to back it up.

It's not such a big problem anymore. Call it a knack for adjusting to new environments but I've actually grown accustomed to having my yami around. Not that much has changed, though I did have to show him a few things about life in the modern world. I'm just so glad he isn't able to touch anything, being a spirit and all. But...... he does seem to become less transparent everyday. Maybe it's just my imagination.

At least I have someone to talk to when omaasan and sofu aren't around. Not that voices in my head were easy to adjust to but it can get pretty boring in physics class sometimes and his comments about the teacher's...... fragrance are actually quite entertaining. At first I didn't think he was capable of engaging in a civilized, even intelligent, conversation since he was so eager to do violent things and send people to the shadow realm. But I guess I was wrong, this time, glad to be. Who knew he was anymore than just a one-trick pony?

Which leads to the point. Ever had an annoying brother who's only goal seems to be making your life a living hell and doing his job perfectly by messing up your room, telling the girls at school you sleep with Pokemon pyjamas and deliberately spilling coke on your brand-new comics? You wish he'd just run away or crawl under a rock and die but worry like crazy when he doesn't come home after school until hours later, sometime around midnight. Yup, there's my point right there. Except my yami doesn't tell others embarrassing things about me. No, all he does is intimidate people and send them to the shadow realm.

Which is why I'm so worried.

Not because of the scary things he did but because it feels like a break in routine, like something's missing. This coming from a guy whose entire life consists of nothing but rapids and water falls but it actually feels sort of weird to _not_ have him around. Things are just too quiet. Too... quiet.

Shaking the item didn't help. The only thing it did was probably toss him around in there a bit. Which is _not_ the point. I wanted him to come out, not come out pissed. The infamous_ mind link_ hasn't worked too well either. I think it has something to do with the soul rooms, when any of our doors are locked or sealed in any way, there's interference in the link and it doesn't work. Wonder how he sealed it. Maybe he's trying to keep me out for some weird reason.

Not like I wanted to go back in there.

Nope.

I had to admit, the room was very.....gloomy and dank, and DARK. Only a yami or someone who's able to brave haunted houses like a walk in the park can stay in that place without feeling uneasy. It wasn't only about the unexplained shadows though, there was a certain thickness in the air that I found difficult to adjust to. The atmosphere of my own soul room fitted me perfectly; I guess his was made only for him. Go figure.

Still....

"YAMI WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"HELLO? ANYBODY IN THERE?"

"C'MON, QUITE DOING THIS; I GET YOUR POINT ALREADY."

"YOU'RE REALLY FREAKING ME OUT, YOU KNOW."

Nothing

Great, now I'm pacing back and forth and glancing at it every two seconds. The annoying thing is, it's warm, not _heat _warm, mind you, more like _blood_ warm. The item's always had some sort warmth to it but it's kind of a body heat sort of thing. Weird, but when you think about it, my yami doesn't just live in there, it's a part of him. So the item being _blood_ warm does make some sense. It's just that the warmth seems to be mocking me, as if it's saying "Yes I'm in here and I'll do whatever I want for as long as I want. Got a problem with that?" If the treasure was just a dead coldness, I'd be really worried but this is just irritating.

Not that the thought of forcing him out by smashing it into pieces with a hammer didn't cross my mind. Obviously I wouldn't do it. Although it's becoming more tempting when I think about it. I wonder what _would _happen if I broke it. Would he stay out here permanently? "Die?" Disappear with a poof? Curiosity killed the cat. Mine's just making my anxiety worse.

"Yamiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii."

"Fine, just stay in there!"

"I don't care."

"I don't care."

"I don't care."

"........."

".........."

"Yup.... That's right."

"You just go on and do whatever."

"Hmm, wonder if I got any new messages."

"_No new e-mail messages......_damn."

"Where's Miho been? She hasn't replied my e-mails for weeks."

"Guess it's the homework. She has physics, chemistry AND math."

"And in the same semester too."

"Our teachers should get laid off."

"Yes they should."

"Yup."

"..........."

".........."

"No new e-mail messages."

"None. Zip. Zero."

"No one online either."

"Too bad."

".........."

".........."

"Nothing on T.V."

".........."

"THAT'S IT!"

"I'M GOING TO, TO.......... go in there quietly, perhaps kick down the door and take a tiny peek."

Talk about slow, I should have thought of that before. And I can deal with the cat if it doesn't let me in. Simple enough.

So I did the routine procedure for "going into soul room mode." First I found a place where sofu or even worst, omaasan, wouldn't find me so they won't freak out thinking I was unconscious or dead. Under my bed always did the trick. Then I closed my eyes and went into a state of relaxation, similar to what people who meditate do and cleared my mind of the images floating around in my head. Easy enough. Then I had to picture my soul room and try to feel as if I'm actually in there. That's actually harder than it sounds because to know exactly how a leather book cover feels under my fingers or precisely how glossy a vase is takes practice. Every bit of my soul room must be memorized by heart or else the image is incomplete and I can't get to where I need to go. May yami, who was so eager to prove how right he was, pulled me into my soul room by channelling his mental concentration through me the first couple of times. He's an expert at it; even now I still can't reach the level of mental tranquility he's had since the beginning.

The "end up" place is never consistent. They're usually varied and many times, inconvenient. On top of a bookshelf, inside a cramped treasure chest, wedged between the (canopy ) bed and the wall...etc. This time wasn't so bad, just under the bed.

The entrance of his soul room was just as it was before; the only difference was the fact that the Persian wasn't at its usual spot. That's actually a pretty creepy thing. My yami created the cat to defend his room against the attack of duel monsters (and yes I _was_ rather freaked out when I saw a real live not-on-a-card-where-it-should-be duel monster jumping me from out of nowhere) but my yami, being the resourceful spirit that he was, is always armed with a couple of protection spells so had no real worries about them.

Still, Seueth never leaves his post no matter what; my yami designed him that way. Sometimes I envy his magical abilities. I found my soul room the way it was and haven't changed it since. Not that I could. I would if I could but I can't so I didn't. My yami could conjure up anything in a heartbeat and whenever I try to do the same thing (not in front of him of course) I end up nowhere but in a pool of sweat. Seueth's not here, something must be wrong.

Knock, knock

No answer

"Yami, are you in there?"

No answer

I peeked into the hole on the far side of the door but saw nothing. The door was one of those heavy-duty, solid, impregnable ones, but my yami actually managed to damage it. He didn't do it deliberately, it happened when one of the duel monsters, (I think it was a Horned Imp or something like that) broke into his soul room and began rabidly attacking him. This was a long time ago, before Seueth. My yami's shadow powers were actually stronger then than they are now and he easily blasted it into smithereens. The thing is, not all of the blasts of dark energy hit their mark and that's how this hole came to be.

I'm not sure if it was because of me or not (I hope it is) but I've noticed that his dark shadow powers have been diminishing slowly since the first day I met him. Maybe it's because he doesn't spend as much time in the shadow realm now that I'm around or I'm balancing out his dark energy more, either way its fine by me.

"All well, I'm coming in anyways."

I actually meant it when I said I'd kick down the door. Except I didn't kick it as much as ram my body against it. I didn't expect much to happen since it was such a firm door and I'm not exactly the heaviest of people but the entrance swung right open on the fourth try, nearly sending me sprawling on the ground. That was too easy.

"There IS a handle, hikari."

"What? Whoa, what happened in here?"

The whole place looked as if it'd been ransacked or was the victim of hurricane Barbara. The walls, which were once covered in various places by hieroglyphs were cracked and broken, chunks of stone lying in pieces on the ground. The window was gone, which looked pretty illogical because windows don't (in normal circumstances) simply disappear. Splashes of oil stained the ground beneath the ancient torch lights which hung against the wall in a slightly crooked fashion causing more oil to spill over the rim. The entire room itself appeared slightly distorted as if it was some sort of funhouse. There were more unexplained shadows looming around in the room than usual, all of them casting weird patterns against the rubble. A source of light was still nowhere to be seen.

Seueth was lying curled up in the corner camouflaged against the wall sleeping.

Even my yami looked different than usual. He always took pride in his appearance, and although no one else could see him, he always made sure to look his best. Sometimes I got the feeling he was trying to make a good impression on me because I tend to give him the idea that he was unwanted. Which was partially true. Today, to put it mildly, he looked like he'd just gotten his heart broken. His hair was slightly droopier than usual; his clothes weren't on properly, like they've been tugged at and they were filthy; his hands and arms looked slightly dusty from the debris and wreckage around him; and he was very ragged and out of breath. Yet he appeared somewhat satisfied. Must have been working hard.

"Yami? So what happened here?"

He didn't seem to notice my question and mumbled something about taking out the entire east wall completely.

"Was it another duel monster? I thought that cat was supposed to guard your soul room."

Seueth's ears gave a twitch and he opened his right eye. The one emerald eye glared sharply at me for a moment before irritatingly closing once again. The cat finally turned its head away from me and resumed its rhythmic breathing. I could definitely tell it was a product of my yami's doing.

Before I could ask again, a loud crash sounded from the far right side of the room sending smoke and bits of debris flying everywhere. The sound was like that off a grenade going off and I had to cover my head to keep from breathing in all the dust. As soon as the smoke cleared, I could see my yami standing in front of the east wall with his right hand open and held straight in front of him. He let his arm drop softly to his side and marvelled at the remains of the east wall littering the ground. The dust and debris hadn't seemed affect him at all, or Seueth as a matter of fact. It's weird how the cat would wake up from my voice but not from an explosion of such magnitude.

"What are you doing?!"

He brushed off the dust from his hands and turned to me, "I'm redecorating my soul room."

"Like that?!"

He blinked, "Of course, how else?"

I slowly got to my feet and examined the hole where a wall used to be. There was nothing but blackness outside, much like what I'd seen through his window before, "But why?"

"Sometimes a little change is in order."

That was weird. "What for? I thought you liked your soul room the way it was before."

"I did."

"Then why are changing it?"

"It's important that I do so."

I was suddenly struck with a reminder. "So _this_ was what you've been doing for the past couple of days? Why didn't you answer me when I called you? I was really........"

"Really what?" he inquired

"Um.... well, see you're never gone for _that_ long so well, you know," I stuck my hands in my pockets and turned away slightly, "But hey, you should have said something at least!"

He gestured to a pile of stone, "I was a little busy but thank you for deciding on _not_ smashing the item to pieces."

"You still could have said something." I replied irritably

He heaved a sigh and walked over to a pile of junk, sitting himself carefully on the heap. "I'm running short on time as it is but a rest couldn't hurt."

"Yeah well if you weren't so busy blasting away parts of your soul room, then you wouldn't be so tired," I mumbled

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"You question me too much, hikari."

"Yeah well, it's not like anything you do is normal."

He laughed a little, "And what exactly is _normal _to you?"

"_Normal,"_ I enunciated, "Is.... you wouldn't understand anyways, I won't bother." This was beginning to sound like one of those arguments in which he'd always win.

Seueth decided to wake up from his nap and stretched tiredly before pawing his way towards my yami and settling down beside him affectionately. It purred softly as my yami ran his fingers through the soft fur on its head. I think the thing's trying to spite me. And it's doing a good job as well.

"So?" I asked, trying to divert attention back towards me.

"So what?" he asked, still caressing the spoiled beast.

"What have you been up to?"

"You'll find that out soon enough." And with that, he pulled a treat from his pocket and fed it to the cat.

I could feel the anger starting to boil up.

Talk about weird.

**End Entry**

* * *

**Replies:**

**Fushicho Hime: **Hehe the yami sounds funny 'cause I had to "beat around the bush" a little for things to stay undercover. Since all three of the yamis have such different personalities, these conversations have to be manipulated a bit. Thanks for the review!

**Amber Eyes23: **Well.... Depends on what you see as "close." There are lots of stories out there where all three hikaris get close to their yamis but in the show, it's only Yugi who's friends with his yami. I don't know where this is going, but it IS slightly AU. Thanks for the review!

**Saiyan Jedi: **I'd like to think there is more to the yamis than power, magic, games, etc. Yami Yugi's outwardly emotional but the other two are just stubborn. Either that or they have too much pride. Thanks for the review!

**KarlaBob: **XD I like long reviews. Hehe I can't address all of your points but I put that cat (it's not a panther) because... well it's kind of obvious. So me designed me own soulroom just to keep the identity safely (sort of) under wraps. Thanks for the review!

**TGCgirl124: **You don't know why? Lol, meh maybe just a hunch. My chapters are always weird. Some think they're good, some interesting, some confusing (many confusing) and some really bad so they give up reading altogether. Thanks for the review!

**Dark Magician Girl / Hikaru: **Lol, you can go on using interesting if you like. Words like "beguiling" and "tantalizing" are made up by people who want to sound more intelligent than everyone else. Yes, I had a hunch that omaasan (or omaa-san?) is a word since other people use it but I can't seem to find it in my dictionary. Thanks for the review!

**Angel in Disguise8: **You should get your computer to a doctor, your reviews are getting shorter girl! Jk, glad to see you get around to this time-consuming task every couple of weeks or so. Even if you have to review in the school library. Last time I checked it was Marik right? Anyways, ttyl, thanks for the review!

**Insane Penguin: **Like I put in the note, lets just assume that all of them are capable of having a civilized conversation with their yami once in a while. It's always "lets take over the world" this, and "time to duel" that. So sad that they are so static in character that they always think about one thing. The cat's Egyptian and it adds character to the soulroom. Hehe, thanks for the review!


	15. Entry Fourteen

**Author's Note: **No shounen-ai implications here people, just a lil' fun is all. Thanks!

**Entry 14**

"I'm a first aider, can I help you?" Remain calm, take charge. Perform a rapid scene survey. Perform ABC's, do rapid body check. If casualty has no breath or no airway, do not delay, perform AR. If casualty has no breath or airway and has no pulse, perform CPR. Head tilt chin lift; give initial two breaths in a five-second interval. Landmark using the closest set of ribs and position hands firmly on sternum. Give 15 compressions. Reposition head and repeat until casualty's pulse has returned. Call for medical help.

"Okay, lets see now, I have to put my mouth to the dummy like this and then breath in, oh wait, I forgot to put the lungs in, all well, I'll do it later. Wait, wait, there, now the head's on the right way around. Two breaths. One, two. Okay now what do I do? Head tilt chin lift. What, I was supposed to do that first? What the.... Okay, head tilt chin lift, done. Two breaths, done. Now landmark on which set of ribs, the right one or left one? Ummumum, closest to me, fine then that's the right set. Wait where's the sternum? Ugh, have to flip back to page 29, there. 15 compressions, one and two and three and four and..... there. Reposition head and repeat until casualty's pulse has returned? When do I know that? This is a dummy! What are _you_ laughing at?"

"........"

"No really, does this look like fun and games to you? It can actually save someone's life someday."

"........"

"Humph, fine, now anyways where was I? Oh yeah, head tilt chin lift wait is that, is that gum? Uhck, that's sick! I can't believe they sent me one with gum stuck in its mouth. Oh no, did I remember to sterilize mouth, oh yeah, yeah I did. Whew, eww, but it's so, I don't want to do this anymore."

"Hahahahahumhumhum......"

"What are you staring at?"

He turns away. Grrr.

"Anyways, maybe I can do the compression part of it. One and two and three and four and five and one and two and three and four and ten and one... is it just me or is this thing getting harder to push down? Uggggggh, uggggggh. Yes.....huhuhuh definitely...... huhuhuhuhu getting h-harder. I need water, yami can you get me a glass of water?"

Tough work. Too many things to know. Too, much to memorize. And too tired to do it all in a matter of days. I'm not exactly tired from the First Aid course, although it does play a part in it (especially the CPR lesson) but more so in fact due to... recent events.

"Hey thanks, ack! Hot, hot hot! My tuhungue, my tuhungue. Yami this is hot water! /sigh/ Well maybe it's not your fault. I don't know; we should have done the sink as well. I thought that was implied though 'cause it's so straightforward but I guess I was wrong."

Did he grin? No way.

Okay, now back to the dummy. I looked down at the thing in disgust. Can't believe I missed something as obvious as the huge wad of cherry-pink gum stuck to the side of the thing's mouth. He must have caught my expression because the amused little grin once again crept onto his face. Lucky he gets to lounge on the couch while I'm gasping here on the carpet.

"And this," he pointed to the dummy waving his forefinger at it, "This... apparatus is going to help you save a person's life." He made the last part sound like some sort of unfunny joke.

I sighed, "Yes." Here comes another story.

"Alright."

See?

"Okay, well the mannequin, that's this down here," /Point/ "Doesn't do anything, it's only here for me to practice on so when a real person IS injured, I'll know exactly what to do. That's why it looks like a person, see? Well, sort of. But yeah, you get the point right?"

He nodded, but there was a question floating around in his mind somewhere, waiting to be caught in a net.

"What is it?"

"Well," he suddenly put on a serious expression, "You mean this is for practice and in reality, you'll perform this exact same procedure?"

Nod.

"The exact same."

Nod. Nod.

"Exactly."

"Yes!"

He grinned and struggled to stifle laughter like some sort of schoolgirl. Damn, I should have known.

I heaved a sigh, "It's to save a life, yami, and that it's."

I could see he was trying to keep himself together but unfortunately it wasn't working so well and he became a tomato trying to hold it all in.

I am a mature and responsible person. "You know; if a big fat old bald man was to go into cardiac arrest I'd have to do it to him."

He stopped and grimaced.

I nodded, pretending to look dead serious. "Cause it's more likely for men to experience them than women."

"Really now?" He looked at the dummy intrigued.

I couldn't help but smile. As serious and dark as my yami is, there's always this hidden childish side to him that only comes out to play once in a while. I supposed like anyone, he's fascinated with new and different things and takes interests in something he's never experienced before. The modern world is his playground. And even more so now that, well I think it's pretty obvious.

It was about three days after I found him blasting his soulroom into smithereens. Apparently when he said "redecorating" he meant "destroying his soulroom altogether and leaving a pile of rubble for someone else to take care of." And of course, I did nothing and he eventually picked up the pieces himself. I hadn't quite understood why he went through so much trouble to do that when he could have left it the way it was and gone back to just sit and think or whatnot when he wanted to.

In a way I kind of caught the hint. He didn't want to go back. But I understood why he'd never want to go back to such an ominous place anyways. The soul room seemed to reek of death and depression, so much so that I felt a surge of gloominess hit me like a tidal wave every time a set foot in there. No wonder he always appeared so sad when we spoke. Come to think of it, the soulroom itself was created via his own soul which meant it reflected his own character and emotions. The room did not make him that way; he made the room that way. Then he must've felt right at home. Right?

Not exactly. My yami was one to keep things to himself so I don't know the whole story but fragments of information drifting through own mind-link gave me an overall impression as to why. Poor yami, he was so sick and tired of the gloominess, the depression, the darkness, and the five millennia of nothingness that he just wanted out as quickly and efficiently as possible. And I am definitely not one to blame him, even if it meant destroying his soulroom to do so. I guess it's something to be glad about. This change meant a second chance to live a normal (almost normal) life. This may not be Ancient Egypt but the air still smells as sweet and the sun still rises in the East and settles in the West. It certainly beats anything the item can provide. The hikari/yami bond is doing wonders for us, I'm actually happy for him.

When is comes to how he got the body, the secret's locked up in an airtight box and tossed into the sea. The only evidence I found was an old raggedy scroll containing faded Arabic text lying on the ground in front of his soulroom. It hadn't meant much to me considering I couldn't interpret the script and I didn't have any evidence pointing to what it could have been for but to make a wild guess, I'd say he used the thing to conjure himself up a body.

The weird thing about the scroll was that the words literally disintegrated as soon as I unrolled it. They just faded into thin air, leaving me holding nothing but the blank piece of parchment. It was actually kind of cool in a weird sort of way. Like Harry Potter. Mischief managed.

And what mischief it was. I woke up that morning to find him sitting at my desk staring at me. Of course opening your eyes to anyone watching you would be really unnerving but my yami as a solid being almost sent me through the roof. And this not mentioning the fact he'd raided my closet and thrown my clothes everywhere.

Step one was to convince myself I had fully awaken and lower my heart rate from 120 beats per minute down to its regular rate. Step two was to _somehow _convince sofu and omaasan to let him stay without too much suspicion. And so I covered him up with as many layers as possible, topped it off with a hood and scarf to hide his head and face, the former would definitely have aroused suspicion, and used the foreign exchange student from Canada excuse. (A/N: Not to offend Canadians, I'm actually one myself.)

Omaasan was taken back by the sudden extra casualty having _actually _believed my story and sofu just gave him a long, hard stare and grunted as if knowing exactly what I've been up to but somehow had expected it or didn't care. The process went by more smoothly than I'd hoped; almost _too_ easy. Meh, I had nothing to complain about. I tried making my yami get his hair cut so it would look at least slightly different from mine but it just grew back to the way it had been before. Unusually quickly I might add. So he _does_ still have some magic.

To make up for the almost effortless introduction of my yami to my guardians, I went through, okay fine I'll say it, _hell_ trying to get him adjusted to the real, tangible world. The entire time I gritted my teeth trying to convince myself it was all for the best when in reality, I wanted to shove him back into the item and lock him in the decimated soulroom for another couple of thousand years. I think it being _that_ bad is the message here.

My yami broke everything, _everything_ of mine from figurines, to electronics, even to my 700-page hardcover books. I mean, how can you break a book? Well he showed the book to me, with each half in each hand, both of which held part of the word 'Shakespeare.' Yeah it was rather devastating considering I've never own anything of such value. Moving on, electrical items. Anything you can imagine that could go wrong _did_ go wrong but in a much larger scale than a person can ever imagine. It's sort of like hearing about a quadrillion dollars but having no idea of the amount that is. If sofu hadn't for a duration of time, kicked him out of the house, he would have blown it up. Impressively, he's able to do that without shadow magic of any sort but just plain ordinary household items. I wonder what would happen if he got hold of explosives.

Poor yami.

Well, that ordeal helped me learn something. In the real world, _I'm_ the one who holds the power and he's the one who needs to follow me. He almost always had to be in my sight for the first couple of weeks, but not so much so anymore since he caught on to things quite quickly. But still...... the sink.

I rubbed the sore spot on my tongue against my teeth. He'll get it. He gets everything.

"Okay fine, just go ahead and do it."

He broke up in a strong, breathy laugh, somehow able to maintain a bit of dignity while at it. I guess it was sort of funny. CPR and AR are about putting your mouth to another's person's mouth so there was a high risk of spreading cooties. I smiled.

I only hoped the chunk of pink gum was left there by a girl.

"Come to think about it, if an accident _does_ happen, I'm not sure if I can actually come right onto the scene of an accident and help out like this. I mean it's hard to believe I have to get _this_ close to someone I don't know."

He settled down and folded his arms in a matter of fact sort of way, "You may be right about that, hikari, but I doubt you'll ever get that close to _anyone_ much less a stranger."

I threw the dummy at him; the head accidentally fell off and thwacked him in the face.

"I change my mind. It's all for the good of humanity."

He picked up the head like he hadn't felt the blow to his face and examined the hole labelled 'mouth' carefully. His face contorted at the sight of the gum.

"Told ch'a it was gross."

"You'll probably be faced with much worse than this, hikari."

"Guess, you're right. Next, were practicing the choking part of it where you have to pry something out of someone's mouth."

"You can practice that now," He held the face out to me, angling it in a way that made the gum impossible to miss."

"Very funny," I muttered, pushing the thing away, "The dummy's too easy anyways. Anyone can follow the steps on something fake. I doubt I'll fair any better on a real person."

"Why not?"

"Because they're all different sizes, and have blood and odours and stuff, it's just different."

"Would you, perform this "CPR" on me if I was in danger of dying?"

That was a bizarre question. My yami never struck me as a person who'd ever need CPR. Or any kind of first aid for that matter. It was like his mortality was way above this lowly stuff. Well, lowly compared to something like shadow magic, that is.

I looked at him like he was on drugs, "Uh..... sure."

"Good," he clapped his hands in a very unyami-like fashion and got down on the floor in front of me, lying on the space once occupied by the dummy.

My goodness

He smiled up at my horrified expression, "What you were doing looked very interesting, I just want to see it from, well, the dummy's point of view."

"It's actually okay to crush the casualty's ribs in the process," I mumbled gingerly

He didn't seem fazed by it. My bottom lip quivered, I felt like throwing up. So much for being a Good Samaritan.

"You can use your First Aid knowledge." He said that too calmly.

"There's nothing a First Aider can do about injuries to the rib cage." I'm not going to crack. I'm not going to crack

He gazed at me as if saying s "so? I don't care if my chest caves in." It was all too fun for him.

"Okay, fine. So um....just, just close your eyes." He did so without question.

As soon as his eyes shut, I quietly got off the floor and retrieved my dummy, screwing the head back on. Then, ever so gently, I placed the dummy's mouth over my yami's and crept away. As soon as his eyes snapped open, it was too late. I was already down the hall.

"Have a good practice, yami!"

**End Entry**

* * *

**Replies:**

**Saiyan Jedi: **I don't want to change the way the real Yu-Gi-Oh (or Yuugiou) is laid out so I'll leave it to you to assume whether or not Marik is the spirit in Malik's Millennium item or not. Lol, yeah I try to word it so the story doesn't seem too one-sided, but that does happen sometimes, people just need to catch whenever it happens. Thanks for the review!

**Fushicho Hime: **Dang, humour again, and to think the genre is angst/drama. All well people like the humour, as a matter of fact, so do I. Hehe the yami's seems tough so it's amusing to see him being silly sometimes. But hey, with magic at his disposal, what's a guy to do? Thanks for the review!

**Amber Eyes23: **You're right, only the puzzle can be smashed when let's say, you hurl it to the ground. But I mentioned the item being smashed _with a hammer_ and when you're frustrated or angry, you can be surprised at how strong you can be. Best friends? Only Yugi and his yami became best friends, the other two pairs, not so much. But this is slightly AU so I can make whatever I want happen. Thanks for the review!

**ThePianoFiend: **Thanks for the review, comment appreciated XD. Oh yeah and congrats, you're my 100th reviewer.

**Sphincter: **So I guess your choice for the last chappy was Yami and Yugi then. Yeah, the guy's got lots of names, it's almost ridiculous. Lol, thanks for the review!

**Dark Magician Girl / Hikaru: **You think it's interesting? /gasps in surprise/ I really didn't see that one coming. Lol, yamis have magic but they're no handy-men, at least not in this fic they aren't. Everything is just easier when you detonate. Thanks for the review!

**Yami no Marik: **Hehe, the word 'interesting' comes up a lot from reviews. I'm not even sure what it means anymore, could be either good or bad thing. Glad, you find it so, thanks for the review!

**KarlaBob: **Glad you're reviewing even if we discuss it over msn. But you don't have to do it just to boost the story if you don't want to. You can keep the cat, hmm....don't think I'll need it anymore. Just watch out for the claws. Thanks for the review!

**Angel in Disguise8: **Yes, yes, I found it. Just to remind you, one day late is really nothing at all. You find the yami cool? How so? Interesting you should say that lol. Hey, if you need suggestions on a new penname, I've got plenty. Thanks for the review!


	16. Entry Fifteen

**Entry 15**

I watched as omaasan placed the mug of steaming coffee ever so lightly on the table, heaving a sigh. Steaming, like how I was feeling inside. Hot with worry and anxiety.

"Is he still in your room, dear?"

"Yes."

She nodded and took a sip, keeping her eyes glued on the dark brew. Was she purposely avoiding me or did she think I wanted to avoid her? "You do know that I'm worried as well and I want to help but if you don't tell me what's wrong than there's nothing I can do."

"Yeah but..." I stopped and began fumbling with my fingers; guess it was my turn to look away, "I can't"

"Well than there's nothing to discuss, now is there?"

Wow. That remark sounded so, so, mature. Hardly omaasan. Not to be mean but, she's usually pretty clueless. But I guess with sofu gone on another one of his trips, she's the responsible one in the house. Not that I needed this sense of responsibility now, she sounded so cold.

I bit my lip. That right there was like a blast of freezing polar ice aimed directly at my face. She must have noticed because her expression suddenly changed, a look of remorse and sympathy appearing in her eyes. Omaasan got up from her seat and walked around to my side of the table. She stooped down a bit and hugged me, adding a little kiss on the forehead as an extra bonus. Just can't help but love omaasan.

"I'm sorry, but you have to admit, there's really nothing I can do."

I hung my head, for some reason, feeling guilty. It wasn't my fault. I didn't do anything, it was him. Him and his.... But it wasn't his fault either because everyone.... but it is, well sort of, he had no control, well some control. Does anyone have control? In a sense, right? But some might say they don't. Ugh, what am I saying? So confusing.

She stood up and stretched her arm across the table, reaching for the mug. "Kids these days," Sip. Loud swallow.

"I'm not a kid," was all I managed, getting annoyed. And what did she mean by "these days?" Guess everyone was obedient and robot-like back then or something.

"Then you're a teen, same basic thing." She half-smiled, revealing a dime-sized dimple on her right cheek.

"Kids have kid problems, teens have teen problems."

Omaasan's eyes widened in mock disbelief, "You forgot to use a condemn?"

"OMAASAN!"

She placed a hand over her mouth and giggled, the sound like that of a six-year-old girl's. "Sorry, couldn't help it. I just thought you need a, you know, little lightening up. I hate to see you so troubled, you know that."

"Yeah." My face, however, was still ripe enough to eat.

"So, ready to spill now?" She asked, sliding her arm around my shoulder reassuringly.

"I don't know, he'll probably kill me." It sure is tempting though. I could imagine two miniature me's sitting on each shoulder, a devil and an angel, arguing over whose right and who's wrong.

Not to mention it was embarrassing. Really embarrassing.

"Well....."

.............ooooooooooooo.................

"YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SERENITY WHEELER?"

"Hikari...."

"I'm...uh, happy for you?"

"What do you mean by that?" He asked, with a bit less emotion than I'd expected.

"Well, you know, it's just you never seem like the type to – "

He stared at me intently.

"Well not _that_ really, it's just something that doesn't seem to be on the top of your priority list, I mean it's almost a total 180 from what you always do, uh hehe."

He didn't even bother to shoot me a glare, or give me any look for that matter; instead he dropped face-first onto my pillow and buried his face deeper into it. Very unexpected.

"Is...something wrong, yami?" He's embarrassed maybe, or shocked, teetering between a yes and no, denial?

"Leave." Was the muffled reply

"What?"

"Just leave."

"Really, yami..." This was more serious than I initially took it to be. Maybe worst than I initially took it to be. "Did something happen?"

"No."

"Of course not, that's why your face is buried in that pillow like some sort of lovesick – "

"What?" he said abruptly, his head shooting up with very pissed eyes staring me down.

"S-sorry," I took a step back in surprise, "You just seem so upset is all and I want to help.

He resumed the position and waved a hand, the universal gesture for one to leave. He didn't even have the energy to say more than just "leave." A "go away" seemed too much to handle. But I was stubborn....in a good way. It bothered me, mainly because I've never seen him so un-on top of things but also because of that hikari/yami bond thing. There was an inkling, unsettling feeling inside I couldn't really explain. Just because he felt something, didn't mean I could feel the exact same thing. Unfortunately, I had an idea as to why it was there.

"She turned you down, didn't she?"

No answer.

"I'm sorry."

He tisked bitterly, "You have no idea."

I was just glad I held my tongue. Telling him it was to be expected wouldn't have exactly helped the matter, even if it _was_ true. Not only did Serenity have other people ahem _courting_ her, she's almost the complete opposite of my yami. Not to say that opposites don't attract, just not in this case. She's shy, reserved, super kind and sensitive. And my yami's, well, not those things. Come to think of it, I wonder if Joey had a hand in this. I mean he is rather protective of his sister, and he doesn't let anyone, no matter how close that person is to him, lay a finger on her. Maybe she said yes and he said no!

"She didn't need anyone to help her reject me."

"Oh."

Poor yami.

Maybe introducing him to the people at school was a bad idea. Actually, it hadn't been my idea, more of omaasan and sofu's. Seeing as he more or less got in their way at home with him wrecking their stuff and whatnot, they decided to have me take him to school and off their hands for their afternoons. It was an.....interesting notion (more like experiment) but hey, I've seen _a lot_ of strange things in my –short- lifetime so it would either be a total disaster, which I'd end up laughing about later or, if lucky, it would all work out nicely and I'd have nothing to worry about. Can't lose. Yeah I complain about his quirks but they were actually entertaining. Brought a bit of colour into my life, even helped wash away a bit of my dreary memories.

The uncomfortable phase lasted quite awhile, my yami not so big on socializing, but, like always, it ended. It wasn't entirely the fact that he'd been in the items for so long but more of because he's one of those people who don't like to have too many people around him. So far, it was only me around him but with school biting at his heels, there was bound to be more. It was inevitable. He just had to get used to it.

It was actually sort of funny. There were these girls, you know the bimbo, giggly, air-headed (and then some) type who would _not_ stop following him around. Not even into the little boys' restroom, (which of course didn't bother any of us young men whatsoever) and he just didn't know why. When I told him he was, to them, very attractive, he looked at me like I had some sort of Nile illness and made a comment about what he'd thought my sexual orientation was. Guess he missed the 'what they, _they _thought of him.' Of course he avoided me the rest of that week until I cornered him in the little girls' restroom where he thought the girls wouldn't think to look (????) and clarified things. So what was with that CPR stunt he pulled?

I was satisfied to find their washroom was smaller than ours.

I helped ward off the girls by politely informing them of the infectious diseases and viruses he had. He, according to me, was relieved to find the school uniforms consisted of pants and long-sleeved jackets because he had sores and boils all over his body he was ashamed of and wanted covered. They said 'prove it' and we did. A little theatre make-up here and there and we had those girls scrunching their noses and backing away in a hurry. Now that's skill.

Long story short, and _now _things have turned the other way. He's gotten a taste of what it's like to be your typical high school Joe and apparently started off on the wrong foot. Poor yami. All is fair in love and war. He's well familiar with the war part of it, now, for the love.

But why Serenity of all people? One way opposite attraction? Could be.

"Seriously, I promise not to tell anyone."

"Uh huh."

"Please, just tell me what happened."

He lifted himself into a sitting position and made himself comfortable on the bed. Hmm, usually doesn't do that, all well. "Well, to begin with, she said it wasn't me, it was her..."

"Okay."

"...and that she already liked someone."

"Oh..."

"....that person being _you._"

"Whoa, what?" I had to do a double check to make sure I heard what I thought he said.

"That person being you." He repeated, this time not as firmly and with a hint of dejection.

"I-I, what?"

"_Must_ I repeat myself again, hikari?" He was more than just dejected. Obviously. He was talking to the person who ruined his love life.

Then the guilt settled into. But with the guilt was a sense of giddiness. She liked me? She really liked me? Me?! "I'm really sorry."

He waved a hand tediously, "I don't want to hear it, I know what you're thinking. Well done."

"No really – "

"What really intrigued me..." he said the 'what' extra loud to make sure I was cut off, "...was how blunt your girlfriend was."

"Yami please – "

"....but of course I have absolutely no right to be upset, now do I? She did nothing wrong and neither did you."

"Would you just let me – "

"....furthermore, I, being 5000 years of age, am much too old for her, wouldn't you agree."

"No – "

"....perhaps Kaiba was right on this one, romantic relationships are a waste of time, energy and money."

"Hey, since when did you – "

"....this is your chance, hikari. As they say, carpe diem, seize the day."

"Ugh, stop, would you?"

"....I am sure Joey wouldn't mind you."

"I don't like her!.....In that way!"

"Now if you would excuse me, I have some tasks to attend you." And then he was gone, even before I could attempt to protest.

Wow, I honestly didn't think he would take it so hard. She must have meant so much to him. Probably still do. And the fact that he said all that with almost no emotion whatsoever, not even a hint of anger or jealousy (though there's no doubt he was very jealous) made it even worse. Great. Somehow I always feel guilty about things that aren't even my fault. Maybe if he'd acted a bit differently, changed the way he dressed a bit, altered the hair. Yeah right. This is one emotion that cannot be controlled by anything.

I picked up my pillow and examined it. Slightly battered, softer, some of the fluff was coming out. It was then I knew; this was going to last much longer than a week.

.............ooooooooooooo.................

"Now he barely talks at all, not just to me, but everyone at school. What am I going to do?"

Omaasan opened a can of pop and placed it in front of me. I took a sip, the contents having no taste at all.

"Well, with this, I guess there's not very much you _can _do other than just wait it out. I think going out with Serenity – "

"But I don't even want to!"

"– I think going out with Serenity isn't the best thing to do right now because that'll upset him even more. But if you don't, she'll be unhappy because you rejected her. One thing to do is tell him how you feel; the only problem is right now he's not in the position to listen to reason, believe me, I know."

"So...." I had the feeling she didn't know how to solve things any better than I did.

"Wait it out, see what happens. Then, if nothing changes after awhile, try to talk to him, dear, maybe by then, things won't be quite as heated as they are." She patted my back affectionately, "And hey, by then he might have his eye on someone else."

Clueless omaasan.

She saw the look of doubt on my face and hugged me loosely around the shoulders, "Don't worry too much about it, your friend Yvon will get over it. Everyone does."

Clueless indeed.

**End Entry**

* * *

**Replies:**

**Amber Eyes23: **/grins/ thanks, I thought it was funny too; the idea was entirely inspired by my CAPP class. Thanks for the review!

**ThePianoFiend: **Glad you liked it, thanks for the review!

**Angel in Disguise8: **It's a crime to harm Shakespeare, most definitely. Got any ideas for a penname yet? Seriously, the book has great names. Thanks for the review!

**Dark Magician Girl / Hikaru: **Keeping up the whole "angst" mood can get boring, at least that's idea I get sometimes. Stories have ups and downs; this is just part of the up. Comic relief – maybe there will be a huge plunge somewhere /shrugs/ who knows. Thanks for the review!

**Fushicho Hime: **Wow, professional, that's a word I only dream of; mainly because my stuff is hardly professional. But thanks . The yami with explosives, he'll either use them to blow up the city or think they're some kind of food. Thanks for the review!

**Yami No Marik: **Glad you like it . It's interesting how different people analyze the yami, I actually never meant him to be as dynamic as some thinks he is. I'm actually sort of nervous that people are getting so close but curious to see how they interpret him. Thanks for the review!

**Saiyan Jedi: **But he _is_ a mass murderer, well in a way. Stupidity is all in the innocence of this yami, it makes him all the more lovable. Hmm... maybe the guardians aren't as stupid as they appear. Thanks for the review!

**KarlaBob: **Haha the yami wants mouth to mouth from his hikari. He either has no hormonal drive what so ever or too much of it. I'd like to think he doesn't most of the time, it'd be too strange. Thanks for the review!

**Sphincter: **Lol, glad you like it and no probs on sending you the story, anytime. Thanks for the review!


	17. Entry Sixteen

**Entry 16**

"Don't pretend."

"Pretend what?"

"You know exactly what; we've been through this dozens of times."

"But we aren't exactly getting anywhere."

"That is because you refuse to listen to me."

"What do you mean 'refuse to listen to you'?"

"That is exactly what I mean!"

"What?"

"_/sigh/ _Just listen carefully now, alright?"

"I know, I know already."

"Know what exactly?"

"What you said, since we 'been through it dozens of times.'"

"Than why are you pretending?"

"Pretending what?"

"That I am wrong, when the facts are so blatantly obvious."

"Because you _are_ wrong!"

"No I am not and you know that better than I do."

"What the he – "

"It's not advanced psychology, hikari."

"Too bad you're making it so."

"What?"

"Just listen to yourself, you sound like an air-headed schoolgirl!"

"And you are in denial."

"More like _you_ are; either that or you're trying to get some pity for yourself."

"Don't be foolish."

"Face it, things aren't the way they used to be five thousand years ago."

"That is where you are wrong."

"Come on yami, not _everyone_ is the same."

"You are in denial again."

"Stop saying that! Geese!"

"What is it that you want?"

"I'd tell you if you'd stop cutting me off and listen for once."

"Alright."

"Seriously, I _knew_ you were going to be this way, shouldn't have listened to omaasan."

"Now what?"

"Why did I bother, I knew it, why does everything have to be so _difficult?"_

"What are you mumbling, hikari? I said I'd listen."

"Fine. You've changed a lot, d'you know that?"

"How so?"

"Well…. I don't know really, maybe it's just a different side of you I've never seen before, but you're really different."

"Really…."

"Yeah, but then again, everyone gets a little…well you know when they like someone else. No wonder you're so irate."

"You _know_ I don't let such trivial things get the best of me."

"Trivial. Yeah, good one there, yami."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Oh come on! That's what this whole thing is about! I keep seeing you mope around, trying to find ways to comfort yourself and failing miserably. So much for calm and collect yami. I felt really bad so I came to talk to you. Thought you'd be rational about it. Guess I was wrong."

"_You_ are the one who's not being rational; you continually disregard everything I say without letting me explain."

"And you're so defensive. You keep turning everything I say against me."

"I was expressing my point of view; you aren't the only one with the privilege to speak especially when it's _my_ problem."

"So you admit you have a problem?"

"I don't think I need to explain myself."

"_/sigh/_ As hard as it is to believe, yami, you're not the only one who goes through this. The problem is, everyone who does often miss a couple of things, you know?"

"No. I don't."

"Okay well let's see, you have every right to, you know, feel down and – "

"I don't need – "

"AND, you don't need to expect the people around you, even me although I am your hikari, to understand or even offer comfort."

"_/sigh/"_

"What you _can _do about it though is hear me out. Hey, no one said it was ever easy. Heck I had a problem simply coming here in the first place. But at least it's better than worrying my head off. I think you can agree with that, right?"

"True, that's common knowledge. But don't forget the phrase 'practice what you preach.'"

"There's more to life than just magic and monsters, huh yami?"

"Are you trying to humour me?"

"No, just lightening things up is all, I'd really rather not argue with you."

"Will anything you say help me feel better?"

"Yami….."

"Just…just go ahead and explain."

"You really care about her, don't you?"

"Hikari…."

"Even if you _can_ hide it, you don't have to, I'm your hikari."

"Well, what do you think?"

"It must be terrible."

"Well, if you don't mind, I'd like to drop this issue."

"If it makes you feel better, I don't like her."

"That's where I doubted you were telling the truth."

"Why? You always know when I'm telling the truth, it should be automatic by now."

"Yes but had you wanted to, you can hide whatever you want from me."

"I'm not hiding anything."

"I'm not surprised."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Just admit it, hikari, I don't mind. Do you not trust me?"

"More like _you_ don't trust _me_. You wouldn't even believe me."

"I believe you."

"You don't mean that."

"Yes I do."

"No you don't."

"Like I said, you don't trust me."

"Grr. Yami!"

"What?"

"I'm trying to be rational here, why are you making this so painfully difficult?"

"Maybe this is one of those quirks that everyone else goes through."

"Huh?"

"When they…. as you said."

"Maybe it is."

"….And you're humouring me again."

"If that's what it takes to get you to listen, well…"

"I don't need to be babied; I'm your elder after all."

"Hahahahahaha!"

"What is it?"

"For as long as I've known you, you've never said you were my elder, no matter how unusually true it is."

"I _look_ older than you."

"Not by very much, certainly not by five thousand years."

"I take…pride, in preserving my youthful looks."

"…so why doesn't she like you? Is that what you're thinking?"

"Hikari…"

"I'm sorry but the mink-link works both ways."

"I should guard my thoughts more carefully."

"No need, like I said before, you can trust me. You can believe me as well."

"You were certainly flattered when I told you she liked you."

"Flattery doesn't mean I like her, yami."

"Than why did I feel that shift in our mind-link?"

"I was just surprised, that kind of thing doesn't happen very often, you know."

"So surprise plus flattery equals…?"

"It equals you getting angry at me for no reason."

"I'm not angry at you."

"No of course you're not, you're always calm and collected. Nothing pisses _you _off."

"Don't patronize me."

"No offence, but it seems to be the only way to get your attention."

"We've been speaking this entire time."

"Doesn't mean you were listening."

"Were _you_ listening?"

"Of course. I listened to you go on and on about feeling sorry for yourself."

"And what reason do I have to feel sorry about myself?"

"Seriously, you should tape yourself talking."

"What?"

"/_sigh/_ You think since Serenity likes me and not you that I am soooo flattered that I like her back."

"And?"

"And I'm saying that…You. Are. WRONG. But you of course, since you're feeling so sorry for yourself, you aren't really listening, only to the things that you expect to hear and the things that seem insulting. I heard it enough to figure it out. So logically, I tried to get you to listen by _seeming_ like I'm trying to insult you. Get it?"

"Hmm, future psychologist. And I suppose that confusing little statement is intended for me to feel, for lack of a better word, 'stupid.' No doubt another one of your 'tactics.'"

"Don't blame me, yami. But I guess I shouldn't blame you either, everyone feels – "

" - No more of your theories, hikari."

"Okay then so?"

"So what?"

"So? You finally get it."

"Does that change anything?"

"Well no but…."

"See, hikari, we're back to square one."

"Hey, I came to talk to you so we'd clear things up, that was it."

"You didn't have to bother, I knew you were truthful all along."

"Than why'd you- "

"But I refused to believe it just….just to make sense of what has happened."

"So for once, you're not on top of things, it's no big deal."

"Of course it's a big deal! I've never felt so weak or been so unfocused in my life!"

"I have plenty of times; you just have to deal with these things as they come, no one ever gets a choice."

"The life _I_ used to lead was difficult but never like this."

"Well guess what? No one's led the life _you_ led. _Maybe_ you should have been more careful, by now, you'd still be running around on sand dunes!"

"_By now,_ hikari, I'd be wrapped in rotten bandages and put on display to be gawked at by loud and ignorant tourists."

"Better than dealing with a little puppy love, eh yami? Seriously you know NOTHING!"

"Nothing?! You have _no idea _what I've been through."

"Of course I don't! Dark and mysterious yami _never_ reveals his secrets. Then again, that's what girls fall for."

"Don't you dare start on that!"

"Dare? Oh no sir, I would _never _even _think _of defying **you**."

"No longer challenging me with your theories, hikari?"

"Why bother? You're much to smart for that, all those years in the darkness must have done something to your brain."

"Do you think I _wanted_ to be in there for **five thousand years**?"

"Maybe you're lying, maybe you haven't been in there for that long or maybe you wanted a way to live forever so you locked yourself in there on purpose. Maybe, maybe you're just selfish!"

"Maybe? You're disrespecting my suffering with maybes? I'd rather have died ten times over than be locked away! You try living in a world of black with nothing but your own haunting thoughts never leaving you at peace!"

"I have, and guess what? It got much darker. I should have thrown the item away when I had the chance. I should never have listened to anything you said. Meeting you was a mistake and guess what? IT WAS A MISTAKE TO SET YOU FREE!"

"!!!!!!!!!"

"_/gasp/_ Yami, I'm…….I'm ssorry."

"……………."

"No really, I didn't mean it, I was just mad and - ."

"……………."

"Y-you can hit me if you want, please yami, I'm really sorry."

"……………."

"Say something."

"……………."

"Please, I'm begging you, say something."

"…..the only mistake around here……is you."

**End Entry**

* * *

**A/N: **Well that…sucked. Wow, it's been a month already? Sorry folks, writer's block has been quite a nuisance lately and I've been trying to figure out how to make the major turning point of this fic work. If you have any relevant questions or concerns, please feel free to ask. I'll try to answer. Thanks for readin'!

**Replies:**

**Fushicho Hime: **Aww, so you don't think giving the yami explosives would be fun? Lol, as you can see, the first taste of love didn't go quite so well. I've always wondered how this yami would act if he had a real crush on someone. Might not be the way I made it but it's really something to think about. Thanks for the review!

**Amber Eyes23: **Thanks for liking it. I tried to make the chapter as emotionally "in tune" as possible but it just turned out kind of…funny, as many of my pieces often do. It was actually fun to make the yami a little fussy. Thanks for the review!

**ThePianoFiend: **Thanks for the review!

**Titansfan545: **Yup, I like messing with people's minds and I like it even more when they tell me so. I never thought people would be so interested in this though. Thanks for the review!

**KarlaBob: **Hmm, good reasoning, I never really thought of that. But Serenity, seems to me, is so close to her brother that she doesn't even notice anyone else, only considers them as friends. I like your idea though. Thanks for the review!

**Dark Magician Girl / Hikaru: **You don't have to worry about any real romance going on between them, I'm not a big fan of these pairings either and I rarely write romance (the only pairing that I write is Mahaado and Mana, DM DMG). Human pairings always seem to have one thing or another odd about them. Thanks for the review!

**Sphincter: **"Yami was in character and in love." I hope that was just a guess because although I love Yami Yugi as much as the next person, I'm not telling who the yami is. To answer your question, yes I would go for Yami in a heartbeat, whether he likes it or not, lol. Thanks for the review!

**Angel in Disguise8: **Haha, you know I always use strange words, but hey they're not as weird as you think they are. Write like me eh? All you need is a tub of ice cream, some Campino candies (any flavour would do) and the nagging feeling inside your head to update. See? I'm not as creative as you think I am. Thanks for the review!

**Kagura-kun: **Nope, I didn't make up those lyrics, they're actually from the fourth opening theme of Inuyasha called "Grip!" You can find them on w.w.w. a n i m e l y r i c s . c o m (no spaces). Just type in "inuyasha" and you'll get a list of songs. Thanks for the review!

**Insane Penguin: **I'm surprised you think Yami Yugi would handle rejection this way or any of them for that matter. Well it does make sense since he's never really "lost" at anything in his life and always seems to get what he wants. But hey, when you like someone, you like someone, even Bakura can't escape that. Thanks for the review!


	18. Entry Seventeen

**A/N: **Bows repeatedly Many apologies, I don't have any valid excuse so here's the next chapter.

**Warning: **Kinky stuff.

**Entry 17**

There comes a time when a person knows he's done all he could and despite how he feels or what external pressures are influencing him, he must stop and look back. Oh sure, they say that those who truly go far are the ones who never give up and I agree, but sometimes you have to wonder where you're going or even if the goal you're heading towards is the still the same. Stop running for a second and think about where you're heading and maybe you'll change your mind.

It wasn't a surprise that he'd leave or even stay away from home for a couple of days. In fact, it was somewhat disappointing for someone so strong-willed to be looking for the "easy way out" rather than think deeper on the subject and search for a better solution. But then again, that just shows more of the human side to my yami, the side the spirit purposely kept hidden because he assumes he is different from others (which is partially true). People have weakness, they make mistakes, and that's something all of us learns eventually.

It bothered me to contemplate on whether or not he meant what he said. The subject of his past and ambiguous "death" was an especially touchy one and when I think about it, I guess I deserved all that. I just wonder how it got to that when initially it had been Serenity we were arguing over. Funny how topics can go in such diverse directions. Just not _that_ funny.

Maybe I am a mistake.

Didn't bother me that much though.

Not really.

Mistake or not, I had to redeem myself. It didn't take sofu or omaasan's lectures for me to do it. I just did it on my own. Sometimes it seemed like they were expecting me to do it, kind of like a test. Passing the test would be to take the hint and go out on my own. Not that I wouldn't instinctively do it right away, it's just that anger can be very blinding. Clap. Clap. You've made it past the first level. Maybe you've learned something from living here after all.

Although I was concerned, the search wasn't quite so… desperate. That was where the guilt came in. I should have been going crazy from worrying and running everywhere calling "Yami! Yami! Come home! I'm sorry! You're right, I'm a mistake but it was mistake for you to leave. Omaasan and sofu care a lot about you, more than they do me now. You have magic, you have powers, you have everything, so one little thing shouldn't change all that. Please come home, you'll catch something being out here for so long." Or something like that. And if not that loudly, subtly, like trying to catch hints of pieces of his clothes, personal items etc.

Thing is, that's where it became complicated. That _would_ have been the case had the genuine feeling of concern been my main motive for searching for him. But it wasn't. I'm not sure whether my reason for searching for him is because I want to apologize or because knowing it's all my fault is forcing me to do it against my will. Maybe I want to confront him and go back to our earlier discussion except this time, into more depth. Then again, I would end up repeating the cycle all over again. Complicated indeed.

And then there was the issue of his reaction upon seeing me with my box of mystery emotions. Would he bow up? Walk away confidently? Stare sternly at me? Or simply ignore my presence altogether? Would offering to give him the item for keeps influence his reaction?

It only took me three days. Three days to wander the streets, three days to get the info I needed and three days to realise that no matter how many possible scenarios I play in my head, God will strike me with something new in order to teach me a lesson about thinking I can control my life. Actually, this was a lesson I've learned awhile back but was just refreshed.

After being misled into thinking he was hiding himself in a "gay bar," retirement home, police station and the local corner store, I found him in a remote part of the park. It's strange how you tend to find people you're looking for in a park but then again, parks provide great hiding places, shelters and privacy. And boy did he need privacy.

I took the less travelled path through the woods because I didn't want people to see me. Not that I had anything to hide, I just didn't want to become too distracted from my "mission," especially when I was on the verge of turning back anyways. I had a difficult time navigating through the fallen trees and rough terrain but in the end, doing so proved to be for the best.

I couldn't tell at first because it looked awkward and out of place but upon closer inspection, I realised that it was indeed my yami and yes there _was_ a woman sitting on his lap. She had deep violet eyes which exuded an aura of warmth and seduction and a waterfall of shiny, golden curls that bounced whenever she laughed. She must have had a thing for purple because aside from the white tube-top, that was the only colour she wore. Just by glancing at her, one could tell she was the type who could get any man she wanted just by giving her hair a flip or sneaking in a mysterious wink. The fact that she had my yami held tightly in her arms was… actually I wasn't sure what it was. Funny wasn't exact the word I would have used, nor surprising or even interesting. It was just _awkward_.

The thing that bothered me the most was he seemed so, so happy. Not genuinely happy though, sort of wirily happy as if she was the only thing keeping him from going insane. At this point he didn't have the luxury of picking and choosing, he just clung onto the closest source he could find.

And Serenity?

Well, that was my first question too. Had he decided to give up on her? Maybe he got over it? For some reason, he getting over it didn't seem like the case. Sure, he had closed off the mind link so I couldn't access his thoughts but something about the situation told me there was something more dubious going on.

"Cut the charade, hun, you're free now."

"He'll find out."

"No he won't, we're alone here, just as you wanted."

She caressed his cheek with a delicate hand and gave the corner of his mouth a tender, slow kiss. He closed his eyes and leaned closer towards her warmth, resting his head on the nape of her neck. The woman smiled, a smile that would have clearly been dark (almost sinister) hadn't she veiled it was the illusive warmth in her eyes. No it wasn't my imagination; it was clearly a Black widow smile.

"You know as well as I do that you got it all now, so it's about time you move on."

"If only it was that easy."

Her lips brushed his left ear and she gave it a teasing bite before whispering (rather loudly because I could still hear), "But it is."

"With you, anything is possible, isn't it?" He chuckled softly, mock resisting her…advancements.

I bit my lip, trying not to explode in anger. I had many reasons for being angry, all of them justified for. I would have emerged from my hiding place and walked in on their "little moment" but I had more consideration than that (thank goodness for him) and I desperately needed more answers. If my yami was going to pull something like that, I my as well make the most of the situation.

"Open your eyes and you'll see," she whispered harshly, causing him to pull back from the sudden tickle in his ear. God knows he liked it.

"Mm… see what?"

"All you have. If only you'd get out of that shell you're locking yourself in, you'd see all along that you have everything… and then some."

My breath caught in my throat. Everything? And then some? Could my yami have been hiding something from me? All this time whenever one of us does something, the other one knows, at least in part, about it. The only times I can think of that this does not apply is when he invokes a block in our mind link which, now that I think about it, seems to happen more often. And well, the attitude my guardians have towards him has changed… and my friends…. But hey, how does this woman know about this stuff anyways? Maybe they…. damn, I _really_ have to stop my brain.

"I have nothing," he buried his face in the crook of her neck lethargically, rubbing his nose against the fair skin, "I am just darkness, lost in the liquid depths of my own mind."

"Isn't that all of us?" she sifted her fingers through his hair in a way that most would mistakenly take as maternal love, "This is the real world."

"Is it?"

"In all its malevolent beauty."

"Why?"

"It's been this way since the dawn of time."

"Hmm…I must have lost track."

"Time is your gift."

"You have no idea."

Truly unnerving. After their hushed, bewildering exchange of words, the two fell silent, their positions shifting from his face in her neck to her head on his shoulder. Although the woman's face was hidden from my sight, my yami's wasn't. There was something in his eyes, an expression which I'd never seen before and could not quite put my finger on. Something the woman said seemed to have awakened a feeling inside him, one that was neither happy nor sad. It looked like a mix of longing, nostalgia, detachment, guilt and remorse. Whatever it was, it looked disturbingly perfect on him.

He had his arms tightly wrapped around the woman's body.

"Mmn… you're so warm." The woman stirred in his arms after a long, tension-filled moment and snuggled against his jacket, taking in his scent.

"I don't understand." He whispered.

"Everyone has their problems, and that's all they see, their problems. They don't realise that they're not alone."

For a second, recognition flashed in my yami's eyes. Good. At least he knew he heard that before.

"I'm… different," was the reply after a long, contemplative pause.

"But not in the way you think."

He closed his eyes, and stated confidently, "I know myself."

"Make love to me."

He slid a hand under her chin and lifted her face to meet his. The woman's eyes held nothing but pure amusement.

"Do you not take me seriously?" he asked in an almost demanding tone.

"Hunny, I _take_ everyone seriously."

My yami's eyes narrowed and she grinned playfully, "Really now?"

"You have no idea."

He slid his hand under her tight jacket and did something that made the woman yelp and giggle. She tugged at his arm, grunting and coughing up laughter at the same time but I guess he must have held on (to whatever it was that he was holding onto) tighter because not only was she turning red, he was beginning to laugh as well. I couldn't believe it! He was really laughing! It was the first time I'd ever seen him that way. He was so happy. So happy.

"Oh yeah, you're different alright," the woman gasped and wiped a tear from eye, "But like I said, not in the way that you think."

My yami held up his hand, the same hand he'd used to uh… tickle her? with in a gesture of warning but the woman didn't even flinch. She only grinned seductively, her million-dollar amethyst eyes flashing with original sin.

Damn, that was so not right.

I hadn't realised how hard I was gripping onto the neighbouring branch until a bunch of ants crawled onto my hand and started biting me. I had to bite my lip to keep from freaking out at the sight of the bug swarm. I just hoped the two didn't take too much notice in my attempt at shaking them off.

"That other chick's been eyeing you again," the woman whispered huskily, between the butterfly kisses he was planting on her face.

"Oh?"

"She really likes you."

"Uh huh."

"Word around the schoolyard of yours is that you two'd make a hot couple."

"Um."

"Humph, everything indeed."

"Huh?"

"Oh nothing, just –sigh- pointing out the obvious."

He stopped and eyed the woman strangely, obviously irritated that she'd brought the subject up during what he'd consider (and I would agree) an inappropriate time. The woman, however, seemed more concerned about that than what they'd been doing. Strange person. It's really difficult to see what her motive is, and even more difficult to get a fixed perception of her personality.

"I'm growing very wiry of your games." He turned is face away so the back to his head was to me. Wow, that was almost… a pout.

She smiled that smile of hers and gently caressed his hair, kissing his ear to seal the apology. "You say you're always in the darkness," she said quietly, "But how do you know darkness is darkness when there's no such thing as light? Everyone has to face the facts some time in their life."

"And what would those be?" he asked sternly.

"You haven't been listening, have you?"

"I have… but that does not mean I need to believe you."

"You _are_ stubborn, aren't you?' she chuckled, "But that's okay, I like cracking hard nuts like you."

That did not sound right.

He turned his face back towards hers with one eyebrow raised, "That did not sound right."

The woman feigned an insulted gasp and playfully slapped the side of his leg, "What are you, five?"

"Five thousand, yes."

"And?"

"That sounds as wrong now as it did then."

"I thought they used to cut it off as a form of punishment."

"True, but there was never any cracking involved."

"Bet it was the women who did most of the emasculating."

"Actually, it was all done by men."

"That's just not right."

"Glad you agree."

Well that sent huge shivers down my spine. What kind of person, _people,_ get turned on by _that_? And no, I was definitely not mistaken; you could practically cut the sexual tension with a knife. That was something that really bothered me. How did my yami…. become this way? Sure this was sort of justified for considering that he's more or less a teenager (spirit in teenager body, whatever) and this woman was really attractive but really, what gives? This was not the typical "flirting" and (heaven forbid) "making out." There's no mistaking the second element elusively weaving in and out of their conversation, something that's very unsettling. Something he's been hiding from me. And something this woman has a right to know about and not me.

Maybe something the others also know about.

The two fell into an awkward silence, both of them stiff as poles. They must have been picturing it or something.

"You should go for her," the woman finally broke the silence, although not nearly in the same tone as it had been before. She wasn't looking at him either.

"Who?"

"Serenity."

"She cares for my hikari."

"You have women throwing themselves at your feet, why should one person bother you so much?" For some reason, she had taken on an impersonal tone.

"Because she's the only one I have feelings for. But my hikari – "

"Say his name."

"W-what?"

The woman turned his downcast gaze up to meet hers directly, "Say your hikari's name."

"I-I…" He bit his lip, swallowed hard and roughly turned away with a pained/angry expression.

The woman seemed to nod in satisfaction, her expression mirroring one who's just delivered a checkmate.

"Well?"

"Don't do this." His attempt at warning her was feeble.

"Accept it," she began tugging at the item, "You are a man who has everything and now," she took the item in her manicured hand, "You are free from your chains to enjoy it all."

With that, the woman casually tossed my precious item aside like an empty bag of chips, never bothering to see where it landed. She wrapped her arms around his neck, using her forearm to turn his face away from the spot my item lay abandoned. My yami didn't even make an attempt at budging; he only stared long and hard at the thing that used to be his cage with a blank, detached expression, regarding it with contempt. Finally, he turned his eyes back to the woman, his face unchanging, and murmured something that was barely audible.

"_Thank you."_

I'd had enough.

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**Replies:**

No real replies this time but thanks very much to: **Kagura-kun, Insane Punguin, Amber Eyes23, Fushicho Hime, KarlaBob, Sphincter, Saiyan Jedi, U, Angel in Disguise8, Crimson Shinigami-16, Inuhanyou-fire-sit, and TheShadyAssassin** for reviewing. They're much appreciated.

Oh and Karlabob, I know exactly who the hikari is so don't go thinking those things, okay?


	19. Entry Eighteen

**Entry 18**

In the deepest, darkest caves, they found what they needed. After years of an aching desire for what was just out of their grasp, they cradled in shaking palms that which was worth more, both instrumentally and intrinsically, than all the earthly treasures combined. Authority, prestige dominance, security. Power. Indeed when it comes down to it, power is what drives a person to push through the limitations of human influence and strive to satisfy their own yearnings. It is the power they crave that dissolves their sense of morals and logic and even makes obsolete all that is possible and impossible in the world.

No one said power was always a good thing though. That was why they made it there.

And made it out.

Or so they said.

Everywhere you look, you'd see people of all ages gathering on the streets, peeking through store windows, tilting their heads up to the local big screens or intently focused on their portable TV's, waiting for the next move. Every word said and action done triggers a reaction, often many times more expressive than the action itself and no one is content until the last measly point is snuffed out by an unsuspecting trump card.

So is the routine for the game that made it big. So big in fact that what began as something worthy of no more attention than a three of spades, extended to reach every corner of the border and beyond, spreading like an epidemic to the most remote parts of the world and bringing in millions from dealers of the highest calibre, amused collectors and your regular Joe Smow.

By day the town was bustling with students, workers and errand-runners, all hurrying to their destinations without even a glance at the local supplier store, either in hopes of masking their embarrassing little secret or resisting the trap they knew awaited them behind the "Open" sign. Night was when "The Game" dominated, bringing with it both the good and bad sides of human nature; as most things did. The top gamers ruled the streets, leaving in their wake dejected novices in the pool of their own "perfect" decks, awed spectators drooling for even a glimpse of their cards and crowds of wannabe followers with no sense of direction of their own.

Arrogance naturally followed those on the better end of the food chain, which eventually evolved into greed, jealously, treachery and, of course, violence. The days of lunch money bully fights were swiftly trust aside as more potent, dangerous brawls raged (in both reclusive alleys and open streets) over who wanted what and to whose pocket the piece of paper with the pretty, shiny ink should ride first class in.

Lunch money was never nearly sufficient for one of these. Not the shiny ones, anyways.

As the game evolved, so did the accessories which followed suit. Whether it be a standard game board or the latest Duel Disk money could spit out, everyone was more than willing to hand over the greens in order to get their hands on them. Status was the key to survival and owning a couple of worthwhile cards just wasn't enough. Many learned this lesson the hard way.

Status was also about the biggest name in the business, or rather, maintaining the biggest name in the business. Of course at the time, no name posed a higher status than that of Kaiba. Seto Kaiba to be precise. Ring a bell? Well it should. The soundless student sitting in the far corner of class 41-b, who never did any homework or even paid a single drop of attention to the teacher, who managed to A+ every quiz, test and exam was also the highest ranked player in the world.

This ice-eyed youth neither had a penny to his name nor was affiliated with those with pennies to their names, yet in the few short years of his life, managed to gain an empire, the same empire that just so happened to produce one of the most desired commodities at the time. Luck? That was highly unlikely. He was Chief Executive Officer at 16. And knew what he was doing too.

So it was no big surprise that Kaiba indulged in this new craze, taking every opportunity to gain the upper hand and extract whatever consumers had left from their card expenditures. Which he was soon pleased to find out, was a lot. The world was enthralled when the first wave of game-enhancers, known as "Duel Arenas," hit the public. Though rather large (as the name suggests) and only accessible via certain Kaiba Corp-sponsored buildings, these gaming stadiums melted the line between fantasy and reality, fulfilling the gamers' wildest dreams.

An early form of the "Duel Disk" soon followed (which existed for a very short period of time, so short in fact that Kaiba himself was said to have owned the only copy in existence), with it the more refined second version used today. The duel disk, once merely an experiment for enhancing the quality of his holograms, later proved to be his most efficient product as its convenience (and better holograms) sent consumers by the droves, outselling Game Boy Advances and Barbie dolls.

With the creation of the Duel Arenas and Disks, came the demand for competitive gaming sports and tournaments, both of which became global and official at the drop of a hat. Now, rather than gather around their television sets for the seasonal sport championships, families huddled with their snacks and drinks to watch the tournament finals, impatiently waiting to see who is crowned regional, national or world champion.

There was one thing, however, Kaiba had not taken into consideration when devising plans to market his products and that was the unwanted attention from those wishing to swing the advantage in their favour.

Although very few actually dared to usurper Kaiba Corp, many worked through him in order to fulfill their greedy desires. Gangs emerged in the later hours of the day, seeking out their victims and hunting down the unwary in hopes of strengthening what had become the main focus of their lives. To say the streets were unsafe would have been an unapt statement though because law enforcers, too, were on the prowl. That, however, did not mean the streets were completely safe either.

These random street gangs paved the way for more intricate underground organizations who were far more relentless in their actions and whose sought-out prizes evolved beyond those of rare cards. These secret sects proved themselves slippery under the eyes of the law, having in their disposal advanced technology, reliable resources and a ton of cash. They work under the noses of police officers and pedestrians alike, scheming behind closed doors and striking without leaving so much has a fingerprint.

For the most part, these groups carried on unbeknownst to anyone but a select few who were either secretly affiliated with them or sought their destruction. Very few ever knew how long these groups succeeded or whether they succeeded at all. The ones that knew refused to divulge any information and the ones that didn't carried on as if any traces of danger were merely figments of their imagination.

In a sense, these groups were merely a part of life itself, randomly appearing and disappearing from view. But in a different sense, they weren't. Their presence presented a threat to the natural order of society and would only increase in severity over time, much as the game had progressed over the years. This progression soon called for more serious defensive tactics, thereby increasing tension amongst the innocent whom, by then, would have realised that something was wrong.

During these times, the fate of the city or town involved solely rested in the hands of law enforcers and, depending on their competency, determined how soon, if ever, life would return to normal. The game and game accessories corporate executives never involved themselves in such matters, claiming these happenings to be of no fault of their own but rather derived from the greed of the people. On a hearing, Maxamillion Pegasus, billionaire creator of the game, refused to answer any questions concerning these matters, simply stating, "I am only obligated to do my job, let the police handle theirs." He later opted to withdraw from the hearing and went to a card convention where he signed kids' T-shirts and sold grape juice.

Kaiba himself refused any hearings at all and took unusually great lengths to hide himself from the public eye. Eventually, any communication with Kaiba was either through paperwork or his advisors. It came to the point where some wondered if his company had been usurped after all.

These CEOs' reluctance to answer much debated questions and their disregard of the unsettling issues involving their products roused suspicion amongst the public. With no real evidence behind them, the public began making accusations against these corporate tycoons, claiming they were the cause of the happenings. Many even insisted that they were the ones controlling the street gangs and underground sects for one purpose or another; maybe even, to market their products in some sort of sick and twisted way.

These accusations fell on deaf ears and as time passed with no word of response, the tension increased. Finally, fed up with being left in the dark and treated with contempt, mass groups pf pedestrians gathered in the town centres, giving impassioned speeches, and, fuelled by renewed bitterness, rioting the streets. They smashed windows of every shop remotely related to the game, burnt the items found inside and chased the guiltless owners down the streets with weapons and flaming torches. Luckily, the rioting mobs were soon held under bay before serious damage was done.

It seemed that after that day, all of the anger and frustration was vented from the people and the need for action against the gangs and sects simply dissipated. The wiry people lost their passion for the issue and reluctantly accepted the fact that there was nothing they could do. Cards continued to be bought, games were played, kids were bullied for their shinies and the craze was ignited once again.

No one knew that the peace was only the eye of the storm. "They" were yet to make their appearance, such an appearance that would soon prove to be of greater proportions than all of the gangs and sects combined. All beginning with the theft of a rare card.

For me, this is where it begins.

**End Entry**

* * *

**A/N: **Okay that was pretty strange, boring and made no sense whatsoever but I needed to have it in there. Just take a wild guess and if you don't get it, I'll explain.

**This is your last chance to make a guess.**

**Replies:**

**Fushicho Hime**: Yup that woman was Mai and well, the only reason why it's Mai is because I said I wouldn't add in anymore OCs to make it easier on people. Guess I was wrong about that –walks away laughing- it's great to be cruel. Thanks for the review!

**Ciardra: **Well, I can't really tell you if you're right or not but at least you're thinking about it simply. Not like I can control it or anything but some people linger on details that weren't even supposed to mean anything important and sometimes think themselves into confusion. Thanks for the review!

**Insane Penguin: **-Laughs hysterically- You are hilarious! But yeah, I guess that does make some sort of sense. Yup that was Mai, no clone, just Mai. And I didn't portray her like that because I hate her or anything; I just did it because she was the most likely character to do that kind of stuff, that's all. I wonder what would happen if it was Serenity. All well. And yeah, a yami in a gay bar is a funny picture now that you brought it up. Thanks for the review!

**Angel in Disguise8: **You spelled my name wrong. )


	20. Epilogue

**TEEN DRIFTER SAYS "NO MORE"**

_Domino, Japan– _Authorities are still on the lookout for a 16-year-old boy who has been reported missing for the past three days. Although evidence proves the youth may have deliberately run away from home, investigators are still pinpointing the exact cause of the problem.

On the morning of March 29, 2005, his foster parents found him missing from his bedroom along with all his belongings with the exception of a few scant pieces of clothing and the unusual golden item he was said to have always carried on his person. After a brief moment of panic, they found a letter addressed to his cousin under the elder's pillow.

The information outlined in the letter appeared obscured but apologetic stating "…_I never wanted my good deed for you to turn out that way. All my life, I have been struck with one blow after another, leaving my self confidence a mere loose thread barely enough for me to hold my head up" _and _"…maybe it's not my place to feel this way. This began as my idea and I must be the one to accept the consequences for my actions with sealed lips and an accepting manner.__" _

The boy's guardians were bewildered by the contents of the letter and refused to answer questions regarding it. When asked, the boy's cousin, who is referred to as "Yami," merely stated that it was all an exaggeration.

28-year-old Julie Gidora, the boy's long-time social worker said, "He has done this before but with good reason. I really thought this one was the right home for him. I don't understand what happened." According to Gidora, this boy had gone through several different foster homes, all of which either had abusive guardians or did not provide sufficient living conditions.

Further reports revealed the boy to have a sister whom he'd been separated from at a very young age. This girl, also a drifter, had recently died of dysentery due to the horrible conditions in her own foster home. "It's all psychological," concluded Constable Mika Nielsen, "I've met the boy. He seemed like a very nice person but there was something about him I couldn't quite put my finger on."

Indeed when asked about his life at home, both foster parents admit the boy's odd behaviour from time to time. "Sometimes I hear him talking to himself in his room," says 81-year-old "Sofu," "… and he always writes in that journal or diary of his, deep into the late hours of the night." "He's a nice boy," adds 27-year-old "Omaasan," "But he has these incredible mood swings sometimes that are just not normal for a boy his age. Maybe it's the fact that he's so observant about…everything."

An interview with some of his associates and friends revealed inconclusive information. As of now, the police have concluded that this was done deliberately and without force or hostility. Investigation and search for Yugi Motou will continue.

_- Kimi Press_

* * *

**A/N: **There are several clues throughout the story that suggests Yugi but since I doubt anyone cares anymore, here are the major three: **1) sofu is Japanese for grandfather and omaasan (I believe) is Japanese for mother (and yes, Yugi has a mother). 2) Chapter 6 (entry 5) the guy standing on the shore is Ryou Bakura. 3) Chapter 19 (entry 18) the stolen card that set off the whole "underground sect scare" was stolen by Malik (Marik) in an AU reference to Battle City. **

**The "sister" was simply an OC to throw people off. **

Questions? Ask and I'll send you an email.

Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed and made this story possible. I really appreciated it!


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